Please help :(

[%D#2]

I had my older brothers memorial today. He died last Sunday. My co worker last week had been gossiping about me and now is sick and wants me to cover her shift (right now) and I told her I'll get back to her if I think I can come in but right now I can't. I didn't take any grievance days even though I could have. I wanna be the bigger person and go in but my emotional stability is off today. She was gossiping about me cause I missed two weeks of work in December (mandatory LOA due to contagious virus). And my coworkers had to cover my shifts. I then returned to work and got assaulted by a patient with dementia (broke my finger and sprained my wrist) but did not miss any work thereafter. When she found out about my hand she said (in front of all staff) that if I call out not one will cover and everyone's fed up with me. Yet I wasn't planning on calling out anyway. I worked with the injury and didn't complain at all. Then my coworkers told me what she said, and that in top of losing my brothers just made me so mad. Is it wrong that I just don't effing wanna cover for her? its just been a bad month and I need today to not be any more stressful than it is. Thanks guys for reading

[GreatNurse04]

Condolences to you. You have been through a lot & you were a good employee not taking off for those injuries. You had a virus. What can you do about that? Sounds like they were jealous of your time off. That happens. If you don't feel like covering her then don't cover her. I wouldn't.

[kakamegamama]

So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, and take whatever time you need to grieve....and you may find you need a day down the road as well. I went back to work a week after I buried my husband......not the wisest decision I ever made, but I felt pressured by the boss to do so, so I did. Grief is a hard task master, and sometimes requires more of us than we can give along with other responsibilities. Hang in there.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

In this case, "sorry" should not be included. Flat out, "no I will not". Op needs to grow a pair.

Kind of harsh...but I admit I totally agree.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

In this case, "sorry" should not be included. Flat out, "no I will not". Op needs to grow a pair.

I was going to say the same thing-saying "sorry" dilutes the statement and makes it sound like an apology. Which it should definitely NOT!!

[%D#2]

No offense taken I do need to grow a pair im totally aware. I hate saying no. Have been working on it

[nonnocere808]

No. Don't go in. Grieve.

[ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN]

Say I have plans. Its not lying. Even if you are just going to binge watch Breaking Bad for the third time you have plans.

If the caller is rude or tries to pressure you in any way just hang up or say no I'm not interested see ya on Monday! Bye.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

No offense taken I do need to grow a pair im totally aware. I hate saying no. Have been working on it

"No" is a word many of us take years to learn how to say properly. Once you do, you feel so liberated.

Perfecting a blank stare (raised eyebrow optional) is also useful. [emoji48]

[Kalohen89]

Condolences to you and your family, I'm so sorry for your loss.

If I were your coworker I would expect that after the passing of a family member, you would need some time off. To try to guilt someone into working just hours after a family members memorial is really low, I'm glad you said no. Don't for one second feel bad about the time you have had off, you can't help having shingles (from what I've heard and seen it's definitely not pleasant) it's not like you chose to get sick, and you definitely didn't chose to experience a death in the family. The people in your life such as your coworkers should have your back and offer support at times like these.. I think you should take the leave to give yourself time to grieve. Good luck

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

Safe staffing is not your responsibility. Take care of yourself, and take the time off you need. Don't cover the shift, and don't apologize for that.

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

Lupie, I am so sorry for your loss. ((((((Hugs))))))

In this case, "sorry" should not be included. Flat out, "no I will not". Op needs to grow a pair.

Funny, my first thought when I read the first response/suggestion of what to say: "This, minus the 'I'm sorry.'"

OP, I'm glad you didn't work yesterday. Really, she has the audacity not only to ask you on the day of your brother's memorial service (who DOES that??!?!?!)...but also to spread malicious gossip and then expect a favor from you??? Honestly...WHO DOES THAT?????!??!

I don't enjoy confrontation, but in this case I would seriously consider laying it all out for her. Then advise her that HR would have to get involved if these behaviors (including unwelcome phone calls) don't stop immediately.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

It's OK to say "sorry" as a pleasantry. I wouldn't fall all over myself explaining, but I wouldn't scream, "NO!" and slam the phone down, either. You may need to ask this same person for a favor in the future, so it's good if you at least act like you care a little bit.