Please help :(

[%D#2]

I had my older brothers memorial today. He died last Sunday. My co worker last week had been gossiping about me and now is sick and wants me to cover her shift (right now) and I told her I'll get back to her if I think I can come in but right now I can't. I didn't take any grievance days even though I could have. I wanna be the bigger person and go in but my emotional stability is off today. She was gossiping about me cause I missed two weeks of work in December (mandatory LOA due to contagious virus). And my coworkers had to cover my shifts. I then returned to work and got assaulted by a patient with dementia (broke my finger and sprained my wrist) but did not miss any work thereafter. When she found out about my hand she said (in front of all staff) that if I call out not one will cover and everyone's fed up with me. Yet I wasn't planning on calling out anyway. I worked with the injury and didn't complain at all. Then my coworkers told me what she said, and that in top of losing my brothers just made me so mad. Is it wrong that I just don't effing wanna cover for her? its just been a bad month and I need today to not be any more stressful than it is. Thanks guys for reading

[UTVOL3]

Really, if you think about it, you were obligated to be off. They weren't 'covering your shifts.' They were covering the unit. It's a real shame your coworker isn't a team player. It sounds like she thinks of no one but herself.

[%D#2]

Thank you everyone. I do have issues saying no and I do need to work on this but I did say no to her yesterday. Didn't confront her.. Maybe in time I will.

[jag nurse, RN]

Whata time you have had! I am so sorry. Bottom line is 1) Right now, you need to dowhat is good for you—you have had some major things going on, and 2) I wouldn'thave covered for her. People can be justflat out cruel—she is one of those. We recentlyhad one of our RN's get sick and end up in ICU. One nurse said that she feels bad for her and all” but that we reallyneed to get someone who is more reliable”. : 0 Really? We're supposed to be in a caring profession,but sometimes the compassion is no where to be found. Take care of yourself right now.

[%D#2]

Whata time you have had! I am so sorry. Bottom line is 1) Right now, you need to dowhat is good for you—you have had some major things going on, and 2) I wouldn'thave covered for her. People can be justflat out cruel—she is one of those. We recentlyhad one of our RN's get sick and end up in ICU. One nurse said that she feels bad for her and all” but that we reallyneed to get someone who is more reliable”. : 0 Really? We're supposed to be in a caring profession,but sometimes the compassion is no where to be found. Take care of yourself right now.

Wow that's really just cruel of her .. Your coworker didn't ask to be in ICU.. I feel for her cause I do my best to not call out (4x a year at most seems reasonable.. We don't have a policy). But I have chronic autoimmune diseases. Some nurses hint that I should have steered clear of nursing.. Unfortunately I was diagnosed my last semester of school and this is my passion so I stuck with it. But you're right.. I wonder how such inconsiderate people get into this field

[SororAKS, ADN, RN]

It's not wrong at all. Say "No." That's all. No explanation necessary.

Sounds like she's just pissed in general, and I doubt the entire unit is upset with you.

Even if they were, you owe no one any explanations. If the environment is that toxic, I'd ask do you truly need that?

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

IMO, you don't owe her or anyone else an explanation as to why you can't cover. Simply say "sorry, I'm not available that day". It's not about being a bigger person, it's about taking care of yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[mpct]

A person has to know when to say "no" - learn to say "no" - its very useful in life.

I think ppl can give you a guilt trip very easily and get you to do anything for them. Tell them "no"

[1056chris]

I agree with the others. I can't believe that others would be so insensitive to ask you to cover for them. I would call and get my three days off. If she calls and asks you to work, say "No" and hang up. Sorry for your loss.

[Postpartum RN]

I am so sorry for your loss. (((Hugs)))

How cruel and mean of this person to do this to you. I would never cover another shift for her again if she did that to me. She had the balls to ask you to work for her on THE DAY of your brothers MEMORIAL service??? And she tried to guilt you into it by texting you her symptoms and vital signs?? Crazy..I would have said "NO", I would not apologize at all, AND, I would try very hard to make her feel guilty for trying to make me cover for her on the day of said brothers memorial service!!! She has no conscience or heart. I'm so sorry she is doing this to you. If you don't stand up for yourself, it will continue. Often those of us who are very nice and try our hardest to please people, are the ones who get trampled on.

I am glad you didn't cover for her that day. Also I agree with the others, it is not your fault you got sick and not your fault your brother died, and how dare they make you feel bad about that?? If it were me I would be looking for another job to get out of that toxic environment

[Cola89]

You need to take care of yourself before you can care for anyone else. No guilt.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Just say, "Sorry. I can't." No further explanation is needed, but of course people may be less likely to cover for you if they feel you're unwilling to cover for them.

I wouldn't worry about the gossip. I always wonder what motivated the person who shared the gossip knowing that it would be hurtful. That's the one to look out for...

In this case, "sorry" should not be included. Flat out, "no I will not". Op needs to grow a pair.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Lupie, you are very fragile right now. I can't imagine why you did not take your bereavement leave.

Your coworker senses you are a giver, she is a taker. Do not care what the taker says about you.

Please.... take care of YOURSELF.