Patients who love their sick role

mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

My favorite was a pt who was ambulatory and called me to the room to adjust the thermostat because her sister (sleeping in the chair with the blanket I had already been called to the room to bring her) was "freezing" That is the closest I came to losing it. I work on an ortho unit, so pts are encouraged to call for help and some cannot get out of bed yet, but this one was ridiculous.

sammiesmom · Dec 10, 2013

I love all you guys examples and makes me feel like I am not alone in this world! This brings me to another point though, the ridiculousness of HCAPS. Ugh.

NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

This is my mother. No one, and I mean NO ONE is sicker, in more pain, (physical and emotional) than she is. She is the self-proclaimed epitome of misery, and no one DARE suggest that she might want to try something different. Y'know, to get "better". And God help whoever has the gall to complain about their own pain. Psssh! "You don't KNOW pain"...When she gets herself hospitalized (usually by overdose) all are expected to rush to her side and cater to her every whim and fancy. She will run nurses ragged at the hospital, and family ragged at home. She has my very disabled father doing all of the chores, cooking, bringing her food and fetching the plate from her when she's done so she can sit on her butt on the couch and do nothing. She's perfectly capable, just wants to be waited on. In my experience, people like her who are "needy" in the hospital are tyrants at home.

OMG!!!!! I spent all of these years believing I didn't have a sister!! Hi, it is sooooo nice to finally meet you! We have the same mother!!!

bluegeegoo2, LPN · Dec 10, 2013

OMG!!!!! I spent all of these years believing I didn't have a sister!! Hi, it is sooooo nice to finally meet you! We have the same mother!!!

Lol Hi! I always wanted a sister! :)

Bringonthenight · Dec 10, 2013

When I read the title of this thread a very particular type of patient came to mind. I just spent a weekend with one of these. I call them Grande Dames, or the Matriarchal Martyr, as they are almost always female, not always though. They are usually convinced they will die at any moment. They make lots of comments about how they have it harder than any other person ever has and instantly hate anyone who dares to suggest that perhaps they should look at things another way. They are usually surrounded by all their adult children or boyfriends or husbands or parents or a mixture of all of these, who spend their visits weeping and patting the patient's head. Every little twitch or cough is great cause for concern and will send someone running from the room, arms flailing, with urgent cries of "Nnnuuuurrrsssseeee!" The suitcase full of pajamas, robes, laptop, and stuffed animals is usually the first clue. Followed by the families request for pillows and blankets because they will be staying of course. They then set up for their watch. I have even seen some families post schedules of who will be coming when lol. They spend their time searching web MD and requesting juice, cookies, supplies, etc. etc. and pestering you with ridiculous questions. It is almost like it is a competition between the family of who can be the most annoying, like somehow that proves they love the patient the most. Meanwhile the patient lies back and absolutely basks in the attention of both family and staff. They are usually mortified and begin experiencing "new symptoms" whenever the word discharge is mentioned. In some ways I envy these patients. They have a pretty impressive hold on their family members. I am pretty certain the only way my kids would notice I was very ill is if I was unable to cook, wash clothes, or reach into my wallet. I picture them driving up to ER and rolling me out in front of the entrance gangster style lol.

Omg yes to this whole post! I wish we worked together!

nekozuki, LPN · Dec 10, 2013

I am pretty certain the only way my kids would notice I was very ill is if I was unable to cook, wash clothes, or reach into my wallet. I picture them driving up to ER and rolling me out in front of the entrance gangster style lol.

HAHA! This post made my day!

I'm one of eight children, and my father was a paramedic/firefighter, so there was no mercy when it came to injuries/illness. My Dad could give stitches and splint broken fingers/toes, and my mom firmly believed tylenol cured everything.

I once got a giant roofing nail stuck in my foot and all the yanking in the world wouldn't pull it out, so I waited several hours for my Dad to come home. He said if he could pry car accident victims out of crushed vehicles, he could get the nail out. He got a pair of pliers and eventually extracted it (after MUCH effort), and I got an icepack and a popsicle. Case closed, no special attention beyond being teased when I couldn't walk on the foot for a few days.

I'd be freaked out getting that much attention for being ill, even if it was serious!

ComeTogether, LPN · Dec 10, 2013

I had a pt with a fim of 5 ask me to put lotion on his legs. I told him that since he was in rehab, he needed to do for himself whatever tasks he could. He replied "Why would I, that is YOUR job". I had to turn around and walk out.

MECO28, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

While I was in nursing school I worked as a float CNA in an area hospital. One day I floated to our cardiac ICU and was helping a nurse get her room ready for an admit. I'm not sure any of us could have predicted the royal procession that was to roll in:

Alert and oriented patient barking orders at her transporters while sitting up in a bariatric bed surrounded by about 6 suitcases. Following close behind another transporter pushing a cart loaded down with personal effects including (I'm not kidding) big bottles of those syrups used to make Italian sodas and a big pump bottle of Hershey's chocolate.

She had her own personal Starbucks! I will never forget the look of horror on that nurse's face.

MauraRN · Dec 10, 2013

This is my mother. No one, and I mean NO ONE is sicker, in more pain, (physical and emotional) than she is. She is the self-proclaimed epitome of misery, and no one DARE suggest that she might want to try something different. Y'know, to get "better". And God help whoever has the gall to complain about their own pain. Psssh! "You don't KNOW pain"...When she gets herself hospitalized (usually by overdose) all are expected to rush to her side and cater to her every whim and fancy. She will run nurses ragged at the hospital, and family ragged at home. She has my very disabled father doing all of the chores, cooking, bringing her food and fetching the plate from her when she's done so she can sit on her butt on the couch and do nothing. She's perfectly capable, just wants to be waited on. In my experience, people like her who are "needy" in the hospital are tyrants at home.

You must be my long lost sibling because that is MY mother that you are describing, LOL!

HikingEDRN, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

Being in the ED, I don't have to deal with these people when they camp out on the floor. However, when they come in, they have their notebook out with every ailment listed, date of diagnosis, and all of their medications and recent changes. Don't get me wrong - I love it when patients know their meds and history and I certainly have empathy for chronically ill patients but certain types of people seem proud, like their ailments are accomplishments. Some of these people are pretty young too. These are invariably the same people who insist that I call the IV team (we don't have one) or use a "baby needle." Then, when I put the 20 or 18 in their obvious vein, they coo "ooh, I'm going to ask for you next time." If they are admitted, I can sometimes get a sense that the family is relieved!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 10, 2013

This is the stuff they don't tell you about in nursing school. All the family of patient Y who insist on keeping nonverbal, trached, AC vented, PEG'd, chronic aspirator, double amputee little granny a full code. And they'll be damned if you don't spend 50 minutes of every hour catering to her every cough and twitch. I feel insensitive saying this stuff, but people must have very unrealistic expectations of modern medicine.

People DO have very unrealistic expectations of modern medicine -- probably because on television, there is no one so sick than cannot be saved by a heroic doctor within an hourlong show. That's a societal problem, and good fodder for a whole 'nother thread.

Patient Y's family is probably having a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact that if she dies, her social security check ceases to arrive in the mailbox. they're not worried about the hospital bill because they have no intention of paying it anyway.

liketheairport · Dec 10, 2013

This is my mother. No one, and I mean NO ONE is sicker, in more pain, (physical and emotional) than she is. She is the self-proclaimed epitome of misery, and no one DARE suggest that she might want to try something different. Y'know, to get "better". And God help whoever has the gall to complain about their own pain. Psssh! "You don't KNOW pain"...When she gets herself hospitalized (usually by overdose) all are expected to rush to her side and cater to her every whim and fancy. She will run nurses ragged at the hospital, and family ragged at home. She has my very disabled father doing all of the chores, cooking, bringing her food and fetching the plate from her when she's done so she can sit on her butt on the couch and do nothing. She's perfectly capable, just wants to be waited on. In my experience, people like her who are "needy" in the hospital are tyrants at home.

Sounds like my future mother-in-law. Except it's her son she runs ragged. "Take the dogs out, go get me some mint chip custard, come up here and find this thing in my room that I don't feel like strapping on the leg for, get me some water, go buy me this, put gas in the car because I'm too lazy to learn how..." The list goes on. I mean, c'mon lady, I know you're got one prosthetic leg and all, but you've had it for something like SIX YEARS and you drive yourself to those consignment stores and 30 minutes away to get manicures. You can do it, I swear.