Patients who love their sick role

BrandonLPN, LPN · Dec 9, 2013

I'm confused (not disagreeing with anything that's been said, just confused) - how is this 'enjoying the sick role'?

I think the OP meant how some people suddenly expect excessive pampering when they're sick.

Kind of like how kids expect mom to make them milkshakes when they stay home from school.

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Dec 9, 2013

The thread makes me think of my 44year old brother in law. Self induced chronic illness that flairs up most when others are watching him (symptoms seem to calm when no one pays attention). I'm not sure when last I had a conversation with the man that didn't start with his latest medical problem, dr appt or medication changes. He often hugs others good bye with "I hope to see you again but you know I might be dead by this time next year). Of course he can still slam down a 12 pack of beer or go off on an illegal drug binge! Grr!

TU RN, DNP, CRNA · Dec 10, 2013

This is the stuff they don't tell you about in nursing school. All the family of patient Y who insist on keeping nonverbal, trached, AC vented, PEG'd, chronic aspirator, double amputee little granny a full code. And they'll be damned if you don't spend 50 minutes of every hour catering to her every cough and twitch. I feel insensitive saying this stuff, but people must have very unrealistic expectations of modern medicine.

loriangel14, RN · Dec 10, 2013

Ah yes, the patient that comes via ambulance with three suitcases already packed. Totally mortified if you suggest that since both hands are working just fine, they are more than able to feed themselves. And since their feet are working just fine, I won't be giving you a bed bath or putting you on a pan - you can walk to the bathroom. How do you deal with these people?

I ask them "what is your goal from here?" If you go home who is going to wipe your butt and change your briefs? If you can't do these things then you had better start thinking about a nursing home.This is a hospital, you can't live here. Chronic bell ringers on my floor aren't allowed to stay in bed. they are made to get up out of their room AWAY from the bell.

Fiona59 · Dec 10, 2013

The sight of a suitcase, special blanket/quilt and framed photographs sends every nurse on my unit running. We are a short stay unit

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · Dec 10, 2013

If you call me in to raise the head of the bed, I will teach you how to move the bed yourself. If you ask me to move your cup closer, I will ask you to try it yourself...etc..with the perfectly capable patient it's all about independence.

DoeRN · Dec 10, 2013

Love the patients who can text, talk on the phone all day, demand you get dinner for their family (what do you mean you can't get my cousin a dinner tray?) play games on their laptop, walk their family members to the elevator etc. But they can't reach and wipe their behind. I said well then I will make sure I tell your doctor to get an PT/OT order so you can be evaluated to go to a nursing home. Nine times out of ten this works and they start being independent again.

I don't get food for family members. I direct them towards the cafeteria and to the waiting room where there is coffee.

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imintrouble, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

Some pts love to be helpless. Even if they have to fake it. I've always thought the reason they end up in the hospital, is because families bring them to the ER, and refuse to take them home. Imagine that helpless pt who'll not so much as change the channel on the remote. Then imagine them LIVING with you. I'd dump them off at the hospital too.

nursetaminator · Dec 10, 2013

I said well then I will make sure I tell your doctor to get an PT/OT order so you can be evaluated to go to a nursing home. Nine times out of ten this works and they start being independent again.

Sweet!!!

These are all great y'all. Keep the tips coming! I have a difficult time wording things so that they come out sounding at least half way professional. Always looking for more proper words of encouragement for my patients.

Don't know why but I am still amazed that grown adults (physically able) can't wipe their own bottoms, raise the head of their bed, etc - the list goes on and on. I had one patient tell me she wanted a brief bc she was too lazy to get out of bed. I told her she could use the bedside commode sitting 2 inches from her bed. She said it was too far to go. Really???

edwindelahiggins · Dec 10, 2013

the geriatric, medicare recepitient 80 year olds with 20 co-morbiities who are full codes, but expect the moon when it comes to medical services (no procedure too expensive for grandma or grandpa!). It's easy to treat hospital stays like an all you can eat buffet when its only someone else's dime! As you can see I've become pretty jaded, but I know that medicare is going to be a black hole that is long since completled drained by the time I'm a old geezer.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Dec 10, 2013

When I read the title of this thread a very particular type of patient came to mind. I just spent a weekend with one of these. I call them Grande Dames or the Matriarchal Martyr, as they are almost always female, not always though. They are usually convinced they will die at any moment. They make lots of comments about how they have it harder than any other person ever has and instantly hate anyone who dares to suggest that perhaps they should look at things another way. They are usually surrounded by all their adult children or boyfriends or husbands or parents or a mixture of all of these, who spend their visits weeping and patting the patient's head. Every little twitch or cough is great cause for concern and will send someone running from the room, arms flailing, with urgent cries of "Nnnuuuurrrsssseeee!" The suitcase full of pajamas, robes, laptop, and stuffed animals is usually the first clue. Followed by the families request for pillows and blankets because they will be staying of course. They then set up for their watch. I have even seen some families post schedules of who will be coming when lol. They spend their time searching web MD and requesting juice, cookies, supplies, etc. etc. and pestering you with ridiculous questions. It is almost like it is a competition between the family of who can be the most annoying, like somehow that proves they love the patient the most. Meanwhile the patient lies back and absolutely basks in the attention of both family and staff. They are usually mortified and begin experiencing "new symptoms" whenever the word discharge is mentioned. In some ways I envy these patients. They have a pretty impressive hold on their family members. I am pretty certain the only way my kids would notice I was very ill is if I was unable to cook, wash clothes, or reach into my wallet. I picture them driving up to ER and rolling me out in front of the entrance gangster style lol.[/quote']
You reminded me of having TWO patients in the same room...it was like they were auditioning for the "sick" crown, lol.
Educate, enlighten with a smile (slightly) turned these ladies into former divas....at least when I was around. :)

bluegeegoo2, LPN · Dec 10, 2013

The thread makes me think of my 44year old brother in law. Self induced chronic illness that flairs up most when others are watching him (symptoms seem to calm when no one pays attention). I'm not sure when last I had a conversation with the man that didn't start with his latest medical problem, dr appt or medication changes. He often hugs others good bye with "I hope to see you again but you know I might be dead by this time next year). Of course he can still slam down a 12 pack of beer or go off on an illegal drug binge! Grr!

This is my mother. No one, and I mean NO ONE is sicker, in more pain, (physical and emotional) than she is. She is the self-proclaimed epitome of misery, and no one DARE suggest that she might want to try something different. Y'know, to get "better". And God help whoever has the gall to complain about their own pain. Psssh! "You don't KNOW pain"...When she gets herself hospitalized (usually by overdose) all are expected to rush to her side and cater to her every whim and fancy. She will run nurses ragged at the hospital, and family ragged at home. She has my very disabled father doing all of the chores, cooking, bringing her food and fetching the plate from her when she's done so she can sit on her butt on the couch and do nothing. She's perfectly capable, just wants to be waited on. In my experience, people like her who are "needy" in the hospital are tyrants at home.