I have run into this situation frequently this year. One parent in particular is troublesome about this. When I call home for a feverish or sick child or if the child has lice, the parent just says "I can't pick them up. I don't have a car". She was quite nasty about it when this last happened. The child/children end up staying in the front office or in my clinic all day, and we end up sending home on the bus despite the fact that it's against school policy to do so. This has happened several times this year with this parent. The principal doesn't want to make any waves with parents, so she goes along with it. I think in this case, Mom knows we don't do anything about it so it's of no consequence to her.
What do you do at your school? I'm getting tired of being a free babysitter....
Also, for the record, if I have a child who is vomiting profusely, having an asthma attack or had a fever over 104 (and yes, I've had all 3 situations) I do think that qualifies as medical neglect if the parent won't pick them up and take care of them. And yes, I have had parents that wouldn't pick their kids up in the above scenarios, or "will be there in an hour" but take 2 or 3 hours to get there]
I agree. I just had a child who has a head shunt present with a pretty bad headache. Mom said "I will get someone to pick her up" then she and dad both turned off their phones. When I called her on it, she claimed she had a "family emergency" and was otherwise occupied.
I am thinking her family emergency was probably akin to a trip to Starbucks.
I am not allowed to drive a student home. I have stayed in my office well past the end of the school waiting for a child that was too sick to be picked up and/or to hear back from a parent so my all my Ts are crossed. I care deeply for those children and tell them again it is not their fault they are sick, but they know they are making me stay and they feel terrible about it.
I spoke with my principals last year to come up with a plan for the "No one can pick up my child" situations. Since I work with 7-12 kiddos that are responsible for getting themselves to school (no buses), I created a dismissal form as part of my health forms. If it is signed by a parent, I can dismiss that student on his/her own after verbally speaking with that parent to confirm and if my assessment deems them safe enough to get to their home on their own by walking or public transit. I still wish I could get a pick-up, but kid is miserable and just wants to get home. Parents love this, sign it, and are happy when I ask if can dismiss them on the phone.
Now, folks with younger kiddos. I know...this is tough. I wish we all had an extra "waiting for pick-up and/or phone call back for pick-up" room sometimes. But even the younger ones have cell phones these days. I'm not above having the kid text a parent a message .
I agree. I just had a child who has a head shunt present with a pretty bad headache. Mom said "I will get someone to pick her up" then she and dad both turned off their phones. When I called her on it, she claimed she had a "family emergency" and was otherwise occupied.
I am thinking her family emergency was probably akin to a trip to Starbucks.
If you are a working parent, it is so important to be sure you have "backup." A family member, a friend, a neighbor....I have a hard time believing when a person (unless new to the area) has NO ONE.
Not trying to stick my nose in, just wanted to give an example of how this can happen.
We live very rural. Nearest neighbor is 2 mi away and is semi-elderly. School is 20 mi south. Husband works 30 mi north, I work 65 mi south. We have no family nearer than 70 mi. We split our schedules so that there is only one day we are ever both at work to avoid not having someone available for emergencies, but on the day we both work, it can be up to 2 hrs before the husband can get out of work, drive 50 mi to pick up the sick kid. He works in production, so he might not hear the phone right away, add 15-20 mins to delay if he's elbows deep in grain bin or finishing lab processes. There is no way my work would allow me to leave the floor for a sick child unless said child was being admitted. We have 1 emergency home for the kids, it is a very faint acquaintance from the PTA I know. She works 8-5, so she's only available as an emergency home d/t weather, not for a sick kid. We aren't religious, so no church, and we don't get out to socialize much because there's a serious lack of childcare in the country.
It happens. It used to be that there was an extended support system for families in an area, but with snowbirds following the sun south and families having to move around just to follow their job, you can't rely on family alone.
Not trying to stick my nose in, just wanted to give an example of how this can happen.
We live very rural. Nearest neighbor is 2 mi away and is semi-elderly. School is 20 mi south. Husband works 30 mi north, I work 65 mi south. We have no family nearer than 70 mi. We split our schedules so that there is only one day we are ever both at work to avoid not having someone available for emergencies, but on the day we both work, it can be up to 2 hrs before the husband can get out of work, drive 50 mi to pick up the sick kid. He works in production, so he might not hear the phone right away, add 15-20 mins to delay if he's elbows deep in grain bin or finishing lab processes. There is no way my work would allow me to leave the floor for a sick child unless said child was being admitted. We have 1 emergency home for the kids, it is a very faint acquaintance from the PTA I know. She works 8-5, so she's only available as an emergency home d/t weather, not for a sick kid. We aren't religious, so no church, and we don't get out to socialize much because there's a serious lack of childcare in the country.
It happens. It used to be that there was an extended support system for families in an area, but with snowbirds following the sun south and families having to move around just to follow their job, you can't rely on family alone.
And if this is truly the case, we keep your sick kid.
Even if it's not the case, and mom is at tennis, we keep your sick kid.
The tennis moms do sour me a bit for the "legit" moms (and Dads, too, they are not off the hook!)
Well, i was also brought up in similar circumstances so I do get it. I don't think anyone is being judgemental, rather, I am very frustrated. Parent will not allow us to help, SW was threatened if she even came near the property. Like Far said, I don't have an issue if it's a once in a bluemoon but this is every single time. Mom has knowingly sent student in literally crawling with live lice and she had to sit in the office all day. Who is that fair to; the student who is missing instruction all day? The others students? Reality is the clinic is to be used for short periods of time before going home, not a babysitting service.
Parents are required by law to provide a minimum safe standard of living. That means adequate calories - not necessarily healthy food - clothing, and shelter. Unfortunately, it does not require education before age 7 (might vary by state), medical care, or hygiene - other than absence of totally filthy clothing, stool on the clothes, and serious bodily filth.
I think lice might be able to be squeezed in there somewhere - like preventing getting an education maybe? Sitting in other than the classroom probably isn't too educational - although an argument could be made for having teachers give work to do while in the office.
Even so, a Social Worker could probably find some reason to get the parent some help. Mom sounds like she is angry and either proud or mentally not the healthiest. If the SW was threatened, it seems she should have gotten police to go with her to investigate.
Can you treat lice? If not, can you send the child to the ER? I know it's not really an ER need, but your hands seem tied.
I get frustrated with this when i have a student here, miserable, cooking away with fever and I can't get ahold of anyone. Everyone, it seems has a cell phone strapped to their hip. No one seems to answer. I can tell when you put the call through to voice mail. Even more frustrating when you dodge the call and you don't have a voice mail set up, or your child tell me that you don't check your voice mail. For all you know, i could be calling to tell you that your child fell off the slide cracked their head open.
This scenario HAS happened to me. That parent now answers on the first ring. Trust me - when I call it's not to discuss how the Mets are doing this season.
Now onto the pickup situation - That frustrates me to no end as well. I am very judicious when it comes to sending children home. I get the fact that parents have to work and I absolutely won't call unless I have to. Although there have been times that I have given a "heads up" call so a parent could start making some plans incase of temp spiking or their kid going down hill. I get the fact that some parents have long commutes but I also suspect that these children are not being sent home on a weekly basis. Yes, it's inconvenient to have to leave work to care for a sick child. Children can be inconvenient at times.
I've had kids with fevers "don't call my Mom, she can't leave work." I always explain to them that they will always be more important than a job, and that Mom or Dad will work something out.
If you are a working parent, it is so important to be sure you have "backup." A family member, a friend, a neighbor....I have a hard time believing when a person (unless new to the area) has NO ONE. I once was given permission from both parent and my Principal to drive a student home who was too sick for the bus. "No car" said mom. I get to her house, there are 3 cars in the driveway, dad walks out, waves, and gets into his (working) car. The topper? Friends (with cars) were also visiting at the time.
Let's be honest, some parents just don't want to be bothered. They see us as free childcare for the sick child. Not fair to anyone, especially when the child is here ill and in contact with other students and staff. Tough I don't doubt that in certain situations, the child is better off with us.
Does your insurance cover you as a transporter? Did you say something to the parents? I would never do this again - not for this family.
What's the rule? Sick kids have to be picked up? And if parents really can't or just won't - what is the rule? What constitutes "sick"?
Are they allowed to go back to class? Take a nap? Take their usual mode of transportation after school? Call a cab? Send to ER via 911? What a bunch of deadbeats - unless they were on their death beds or had some other serious extenuating circumstance - like another child on the vent at home and no nurse that day.
You should send a bill to this couple. Withhold grade promotion until paid. Make it hefty enough to get their attention.
Specializes in School Nurse. Having conversations with littles..
Children can be inconvenient at times.
Yes, to parents they can be. And this is why we do what we do and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
"If kids come to us from strong, healthy, functioning families, it makes our job easier. If they do not come to us from strong, healthy, functioning families, it makes our job more important." Barbara Coloroso
I get frustrated with this when i have a student here, miserable, cooking away with fever and I can't get ahold of anyone. Everyone, it seems has a cell phone strapped to their hip. No one seems to answer. I can tell when you put the call through to voice mail. Even more frustrating when you dodge the call and you don't have a voice mail set up, or your child tell me that you don't check your voice mail. For all you know, i could be calling to tell you that your child fell off the slide cracked their head open.
This scenario HAS happened to me. That parent now answers on the first ring. Trust me - when I call it's not to discuss how the Mets are doing this season.
Now onto the pickup situation - That frustrates me to no end as well. I am very judicious when it comes to sending children home. I get the fact that parents have to work and I absolutely won't call unless I have to. Although there have been times that I have given a "heads up" call so a parent could start making some plans incase of temp spiking or their kid going down hill. I get the fact that some parents have long commutes but I also suspect that these children are not being sent home on a weekly basis. Yes, it's inconvenient to have to leave work to care for a sick child. Children can be inconvenient at times.
I get frustrated with this when i have a student here, miserable, cooking away with fever and I can't get ahold of anyone. Everyone, it seems has a cell phone strapped to their hip. No one seems to answer. I can tell when you put the call through to voice mail. Even more frustrating when you dodge the call and you don't have a voice mail set up, or your child tell me that you don't check your voice mail. For all you know, i could be calling to tell you that your child fell off the slide cracked their head open.
This scenario HAS happened to me. That parent now answers on the first ring. Trust me - when I call it's not to discuss how the Mets are doing this season.
Now onto the pickup situation - That frustrates me to no end as well. I am very judicious when it comes to sending children home. I get the fact that parents have to work and I absolutely won't call unless I have to. Although there have been times that I have given a "heads up" call so a parent could start making some plans incase of temp spiking or their kid going down hill. I get the fact that some parents have long commutes but I also suspect that these children are not being sent home on a weekly basis. Yes, it's inconvenient to have to leave work to care for a sick child. Children can be inconvenient at times.
Losing your job is more than an inconvenience. It puts the entire family in financial peril. Please, please don't assume all parents are so cavalier in their children's health - so parents honestly do have to choose between picking up their kid and kissing their minimum wage job goodbye if they leave. I've seen it happen to friends.
I absolutely do believe there are crappy parents, I've seen a few (and am related to a few). Just please, don't lump us all in.
Losing your job is more than an inconvenience. It puts the entire family in financial peril. Please, please don't assume all parents are so cavalier in their children's health - so parents honestly do have to choose between picking up their kid and kissing their minimum wage job goodbye if they leave. I've seen it happen to friends.
I absolutely do believe there are crappy parents, I've seen a few (and am related to a few). Just please, don't lump us all in.
Nope, I'm not. I have had the privilege to deal with amazing parents.
BUT! (and there's always a big but!)
since becoming a SN I've also witness the crappiest freaking parents I could ever meet.
Let me add, most fall on the loving, concerned end. Let me also add, the 2 job a day single parents are NOT in the freaking crappy pile.
.
SnowyJ, RN
844 Posts
I agree. I just had a child who has a head shunt present with a pretty bad headache. Mom said "I will get someone to pick her up" then she and dad both turned off their phones. When I called her on it, she claimed she had a "family emergency" and was otherwise occupied.
I am thinking her family emergency was probably akin to a trip to Starbucks.