I have run into this situation frequently this year. One parent in particular is troublesome about this. When I call home for a feverish or sick child or if the child has lice, the parent just says "I can't pick them up. I don't have a car". She was quite nasty about it when this last happened. The child/children end up staying in the front office or in my clinic all day, and we end up sending home on the bus despite the fact that it's against school policy to do so. This has happened several times this year with this parent. The principal doesn't want to make any waves with parents, so she goes along with it. I think in this case, Mom knows we don't do anything about it so it's of no consequence to her.
What do you do at your school? I'm getting tired of being a free babysitter....
Losing your job is more than an inconvenience. It puts the entire family in financial peril. Please, please don't assume all parents are so cavalier in their children's health - so parents honestly do have to choose between picking up their kid and kissing their minimum wage job goodbye if they leave. I've seen it happen to friends.
I absolutely do believe there are crappy parents, I've seen a few (and am related to a few). Just please, don't lump us all in.
I appreciate your opinion and have enjoyed other posts from you. I do want to respond to this post to say every school nurse who reads Flare's post knows exactly who Flare is referring to and not lumping all parents into any category. School nursing is a unique and a completely different environment and only those experienced in that environment understand the actual context of school nursing posts. Thanks for stopping off here and contributing to the conversation.
I appreciate your opinion and have enjoyed other posts from you. I do want to respond to this post to say every school nurse who reads Flare's post knows exactly who Flare is referring to and not lumping all parents into any category. School nursing is a unique and a completely different environment and only those experienced in that environment understand the actual context of school nursing posts. Thanks for stopping off here and contributing to the conversation.
Right. You guys are posting as parents, not School Nurses. Most of us are parents, too. We get it.
Right. You guys are posting as parents, not School Nurses. Most of us are parents, too. We get it.
And I recognize that I am not in my home area by posting here and I thank y'all for allowing me to comment. I posted because this was on the News Feed and from a non-SN perspective, it sure sounded like eh, parents who don't hover to come get their kids, amirite lol? (If you can hear that in Izzard's voice even better.)
I'm suddenly wondering if the SN at my district is busy posting on here about my family. It's unsettling.
Not trying to stick my nose in, just wanted to give an example of how this can happen.
We live very rural. Nearest neighbor is 2 mi away and is semi-elderly. School is 20 mi south. Husband works 30 mi north, I work 65 mi south. We have no family nearer than 70 mi. We split our schedules so that there is only one day we are ever both at work to avoid not having someone available for emergencies, but on the day we both work, it can be up to 2 hrs before the husband can get out of work, drive 50 mi to pick up the sick kid. He works in production, so he might not hear the phone right away, add 15-20 mins to delay if he's elbows deep in grain bin or finishing lab processes. There is no way my work would allow me to leave the floor for a sick child unless said child was being admitted. We have 1 emergency home for the kids, it is a very faint acquaintance from the PTA I know. She works 8-5, so she's only available as an emergency home d/t weather, not for a sick kid. We aren't religious, so no church, and we don't get out to socialize much because there's a serious lack of childcare in the country.
It happens. It used to be that there was an extended support system for families in an area, but with snowbirds following the sun south and families having to move around just to follow their job, you can't rely on family alone.
I read your story and know that if you were in my school I wouldn't be griping about you. You and your husband have plans for an emergency, they may not be perfect but they are plans. In my school I'd know you well enough to know your situation and to plan accordingly. I know you cannot get here quickly but as long as you are really trying to pick your kid up you are ok in my book. If it's a medical emergency I'm calling 911, if not I am thankful you are trying to get someone here to pick your child up if they need it. It's when someone just doesn't care and doesn't get it that I need your kid out of here so someone else's kid doesn't get sick. I get it, it's not always easy but if you're a SN chances are you have seen way too many parents who view the school as their childcare. They pay our salaries after all .
I'm just getting tired of hearing complaints about how the School Nurse's are being judgmental and assuming all parents are bad-We ARE NOT! There is a backstory with each kid that doesn't often get shared but if you've been in our job you would understand and you would need to vent about it too. It's not 1 or 2 parents and it's not the parents that are truly in a situation they need help with that we complain about-it's the one's who can't be bothered and expect us to just deal with it when they don't want to. They never pick their kids up on time from school, they ignore phone calls from the school so they are not inconvenienced, they refuse to bring their child to get immunizations because they have yoga class and they're often the first to jump down our throats when little Jimmy got a papercut and we didn't call home about it. We don't have coworkers next to us to roll our eyes with or vent with-we are the coworkers! So vent away School Nurses if you need it! I know you aren't uncaring, hate the kids, assume every parent is a lazy and every child is faking but we see it way too often-more than anyone not in our role could imagine so go ahead and let it out-we will listen!
And I recognize that I am not in my home area by posting here and I thank y'all for allowing me to comment. I posted because this was on the News Feed and from a non-SN perspective, it sure sounded like eh, parents who don't hover to come get their kids, amirite lol? (If you can hear that in Izzard's voice even better.)
I'm suddenly wondering if the SN at my district is busy posting on here about my family. It's unsettling.
I'll show myself out. Thanks.
If you're wondering if your SN is posting about your family, that's all the more reason for you to stay and be a part of the conversation and you're certainly welcome to stay.
I read your story and know that if you were in my school I wouldn't be griping about you. You and your husband have plans for an emergency, they may not be perfect but they are plans. In my school I'd know you well enough to know your situation and to plan accordingly. I know you cannot get here quickly but as long as you are really trying to pick your kid up you are ok in my book. If it's a medical emergency I'm calling 911, if not I am thankful you are trying to get someone here to pick your child up if they need it. It's when someone just doesn't care and doesn't get it that I need your kid out of here so someone else's kid doesn't get sick. I get it, it's not always easy but if you're a SN chances are you have seen way too many parents who view the school as their childcare. They pay our salaries after all .
I'm just getting tired of hearing complaints about how the School Nurse's are being judgmental and assuming all parents are bad-We ARE NOT! There is a backstory with each kid that doesn't often get shared but if you've been in our job you would understand and you would need to vent about it too. It's not 1 or 2 parents and it's not the parents that are truly in a situation they need help with that we complain about-it's the one's who can't be bothered and expect us to just deal with it when they don't want to. They never pick their kids up on time from school, they ignore phone calls from the school so they are not inconvenienced, they refuse to bring their child to get immunizations because they have yoga class and they're often the first to jump down our throats when little Jimmy got a papercut and we didn't call home about it. We don't have coworkers next to us to roll our eyes with or vent with-we are the coworkers! So vent away School Nurses if you need it! I know you aren't uncaring, hate the kids, assume every parent is a lazy and every child is faking but we see it way too often-more than anyone not in our role could imagine so go ahead and let it out-we will listen!
Yes. We are allowed to vent just like any other group of nurses on this board.
My dad thinks he is piloting an airplane and landing in JFK half the time. (He's not. He's an LTC resident. For all I know NOADLS is his RN.)
I wouldn't blame an LTC nurse for coming on here and unloading about him if she/he needed to.
CountryMomma, I have been a working parent since my children were born. I understand that it can be a struggle to get coverage.
BUT the day my job becomes more important than my child's welfare is the day I take a good long look at what I am doing for a living and modify accordingly. truthfully? If it would take me over 2 hours to get to my sick or injured child, I would have a huge problem with that.
For me, that meant working night shift for over 25 years so that one of us would be available always since husband worked days. In the advent of many companies being open 24/7, this is not that difficult to do for most. Though it can be a hardship due to being really tired. Again, KIDS I chose to have=my priority.
There are also a lot of work at home/telecommute opportunities out there. Check out this list: 1
I know he struggle is real. I have always been a working parent.
I have also been the parent who worked night shift so I could be home and accessible every day. It was difficult...My husband sometimes had to travel and I would make plans for the kids overnight or I would try to arrange my work schedule.
We are fortunate that in our society there are more and more swing shift opportunities than ever before. Retail, healthcare, even some restaurants.
Truth? if it would take me 2 hours to get to my sick or injured child, I would be seriously re-evaluating my situation. Rural or not.
I agree with you - I'm rural and worked for about 3 months 80 miles from here. The 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. shift. Not a good idea at all.
My first priority is to be available for my kids. We are fortunate to have a fairly decent sized hospital plus clinics here.
My husband used to work away from home when our older kids were little - he came home on weekends. I didn't work then. When he got a job here in our valley, I went back to school to become a nurse. In looking back, I worked too much thinking my teenage kids didn't need me as much. In many ways, they needed me more. I regret working so much.
I don't want this to become and work vs. not work conversation but I do think we should try to work more to accommodate our kids. Not the other way around.
And yes, as school nurses, we do see way more private details about families than the average person. And it can be heartbreaking and frustrating.
We are certainly not being judgmental. The remarks certainly don't get directed at one person in particular. But one thing that I have noticed is that there has been a change in attitude, at least in my little corner of the world, over the past Ahem- many years that i've been doing this job. It seems to me that people don't respect other people's time. Now i'm not saying that it bothers me to have an ill child in my office. That's my job. But I can say that there have been plenty of times that I have been stuck after school because I've had a child that's been injured or has felt too sick to walk home or something else along those lines. Heck, I live in town, there have even been times that i've gotten home and been called back to work because i've had a kid playing on the playground that has gotten hurt and i have been expected to manage it until a parent can be reached. Parents - not all - but some -think that as long as their kids are on school property, they have a free babysitter and that they can take their sweet time. I know for a fact that the front office staff has had children left here waiting to be picked up until almost 4 pm many many days. These parents don't call to say they will be late or that they are on their way - their children just have to sit and wait. And calls to them don't go through. I don't place that blame solely on the parents though - i place some of the blame on the admins for allowing it to go on. At my daughter's daycare you were charged a dollar a minute that you were late if you picked up after 6pm. if it hit 6:30 pm the police were called. I Actually don't know if they ever really did any of that because I picked my daughter up earlier than that - but still just the threat alone was enough to scare me!
Of course we haven't even mentioned those that drop their kids off in front of the school, in the mornings, in the dark, by themselves, well before the first staff member arrives, to fend for themselves against stray dogs, mosquitos, other kids, and various and sundry elements of society.
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OldDude
1 Article; 4,787 Posts
I appreciate your opinion and have enjoyed other posts from you. I do want to respond to this post to say every school nurse who reads Flare's post knows exactly who Flare is referring to and not lumping all parents into any category. School nursing is a unique and a completely different environment and only those experienced in that environment understand the actual context of school nursing posts. Thanks for stopping off here and contributing to the conversation.