I have run into this situation frequently this year. One parent in particular is troublesome about this. When I call home for a feverish or sick child or if the child has lice, the parent just says "I can't pick them up. I don't have a car". She was quite nasty about it when this last happened. The child/children end up staying in the front office or in my clinic all day, and we end up sending home on the bus despite the fact that it's against school policy to do so. This has happened several times this year with this parent. The principal doesn't want to make any waves with parents, so she goes along with it. I think in this case, Mom knows we don't do anything about it so it's of no consequence to her.
What do you do at your school? I'm getting tired of being a free babysitter....
Some of you will recall a similar time I posted this. If you were to call these same parents we are referring to and tell them the school district had awarded them a $1,000.00 cash assistance grant but they'd need to come pick it up at the school before 2:00 pm, they'd miraculously have transportation for that.
Sound drastic......I think not......... If I ever have a really sick kid and I cannot reach anyone after repeated calls all over, then I have no recourse but to call 911 and have them transported to the hospital.
I do this in cases of severe sickness, asthma, allergic reaction, etc......
Well, i was also brought up in similar circumstances so I do get it. I don't think anyone is being judgemental, rather, I am very frustrated. Parent will not allow us to help, SW was threatened if she even came near the property. Like Far said, I don't have an issue if it's a once in a bluemoon but this is every single time. Mom has knowingly sent student in literally crawling with live lice and she had to sit in the office all day. Who is that fair to; the student who is missing instruction all day? The others students? Reality is the clinic is to be used for short periods of time before going home, not a babysitting service.
Well, i was also brought up in similar circumstances so I do get it. I don't think anyone is being judgemental, rather, I am very frustrated. Parent will not allow us to help, SW was threatened if she even came near the property. Like Far said, I don't have an issue if it's a once in a bluemoon but this is every single time. Mom has knowingly sent student in literally crawling with live lice and she had to sit in the office all day. Who is that fair to; the student who is missing instruction all day? The others students? Reality is the clinic is to be used for short periods of time before going home, not a babysitting service.
Yet, we've all done it, let our clinic be open to these kids. You know why? Because it's not the poor sick kid's fault that they have to stay there all day. They feel badly enough.
None of what I said was directed at you, completely. I hear and see a lot of judgement here, and it actually hurts my heart for these kids AND the parents. Not everything is black and white, and some of the complaints I am reading are really, really judgmental. And that stinks.
In a perfect world this stuff would not happen, but it isn't and it does.
OP stated that mom was defensive and less than approachable for a solution to the problem and not a first time offender. Your worldview MAY be myopic to your socioeconomic filter. Please be aware there are selfish uterus and testicle bearers out there that view school as a free babysitter and their needs come before their children, I parent the child of one of these types, I know of what I speak. Sometimes the kneejerk response takes the knee away from you. Those in school nursing, the vast majority, are committed to the best for the kids, and know the back stories of most of the kids with social influences. Sorry that tones may seem nasty, but those who are school nurses get the bigger picture. I bet some of these same issues come up in the peds thread, too.
OP stated that mom was defensive and less than approachable for a solution to the problem and not a first time offender. Your worldview MAY be myopic to your socioeconomic filter. Please be aware there are selfish uterus and testicle bearers out there that view school as a free babysitter and their needs come before their children, I parent the child of one of these types, I know of what I speak. Sometimes the kneejerk response takes the knee away from you. Those in school nursing, the vast majority, are committed to the best for the kids, and know the back stories of most of the kids with social influences. Sorry that tones may seem nasty, but those who are school nurses get the bigger picture. I bet some of these same issues come up in the peds thread, too.
I've had kids with fevers "don't call my Mom, she can't leave work." I always explain to them that they will always be more important than a job, and that Mom or Dad will work something out.
If you are a working parent, it is so important to be sure you have "backup." A family member, a friend, a neighbor....I have a hard time believing when a person (unless new to the area) has NO ONE. I once was given permission from both parent and my Principal to drive a student home who was too sick for the bus. "No car" said mom. I get to her house, there are 3 cars in the driveway, dad walks out, waves, and gets into his (working) car. The topper? Friends (with cars) were also visiting at the time.
Let's be honest, some parents just don't want to be bothered. They see us as free childcare for the sick child. Not fair to anyone, especially when the child is here ill and in contact with other students and staff. Tough I don't doubt that in certain situations, the child is better off with us.
All I ask is that parents be honest with me. I am very sympathetic to the working parent. If they let me know they are unable to pick up the student, I try to let them stay with me in the clinic, if possible. I am not sympathetic to the parents who say they will be there is 15 minutes, and then won't answer their phone for the rest of the day.
I'm not and never have been a school nurse, so I can only imagine the backstory that might lead the OP to take the car-less mom's reasoning with a grain of salt.
But my first reaction to the OP was similar to yours ... not having a car = neglect or abuse? Really?
Not at all an easy situation. From where I sit, school nurses, like ED nurses, get stuck with the fallout from social ills that have nothing to do with school or nursing.
They also get a good close look at the "dark underbelly" so to speak, of modern parenting ... so, I take the venting in the OP for what it is, not as a judgement on parents unable to afford a car, to lose a job or stay home for the kids.
For the record, I never said it was neglect or abuse because they didn't have a car. I was looking for advice. Also, for the record, if I have a child who is vomiting profusely, having an asthma attack or had a fever over 104 (and yes, I've had all 3 situations) I do think that qualifies as medical neglect if the parent won't pick them up and take care of them. And yes, I have had parents that wouldn't pick their kids up in the above scenarios, or "will be there in an hour" but take 2 or 3 hours to get there. This year, I even followed the bus home for a 1st grader with a temp of 102.5 whose Mom "couldn't come". Iwas worried and wanted to make sure someone was home when she got there. Nobody was. What did I get for it? Mom screaming at me when she pulled in her driveway - in a car - and I was there with her child. Nice, huh?
I am not equipped to manage any of the situations for longer than an hour or so. I have 950+ kids who also need my attention, and their issues can be as serious as the ones I mentioned above also. However, as Far said, I wouldn't call CPS but I would and have called an ambulance. Again, just looking for advice on how others handle. I'm very disappointed in our management team.. And yes, Heron, in this post I AM venting :)
Let's be honest, some parents just don't want to be bothered. They see us as free childcare for the sick child. Not fair to anyone, especially when the child is here ill and in contact with other students and staff. Tough I don't doubt that in certain situations, the child is better off with us.
THIS!!!
Poster and several others have similarly commented. This type of behavior has also happened in LTC facilities I've worked. Kids come in with parents to 'visit' pt grandparents, and then parents sneakily slip out leaving kids alone in room.
Kids being kids, after about 10 mins, they started being antsy & jumpy & pesky & bothersome etc etc etc. No parent to be found. This also happened when a husband spouse of an elderly lady pt came to 'visit' his elderly wife with an adult offspring. Again, the 'responsible' adult did a 'dump' of the needy spouse expecting us to babysit. All of a sudden, we had an 'unofficial' pt who needed toileting, to be fed, to be closely watched for wandering, started 'sundowning' and 'god knows', who missed what meds!
I understand folks needing a break, but we should be paid for our 'respite' services.
This behavior occurs more often than not across other nsg practices. (I'm sure the ER nurses can match similar stories.)
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Farawyn
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