I have run into this situation frequently this year. One parent in particular is troublesome about this. When I call home for a feverish or sick child or if the child has lice, the parent just says "I can't pick them up. I don't have a car". She was quite nasty about it when this last happened. The child/children end up staying in the front office or in my clinic all day, and we end up sending home on the bus despite the fact that it's against school policy to do so. This has happened several times this year with this parent. The principal doesn't want to make any waves with parents, so she goes along with it. I think in this case, Mom knows we don't do anything about it so it's of no consequence to her.
What do you do at your school? I'm getting tired of being a free babysitter....
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
I think I can speak to this issue as a Nurse I can't just up and leave if I get a call that my kid is sick. My husband works for the federal Govt and has Asperger's which means anything that throws him off routine can shake up the family for weeks. We have no one and I mean no one who can respond to these issues but me. I have a great employer who is great at being flexible so after giving report to her I can usually leave to retrieve that man cub get him home and set up (he's 14) and get back to work if necessary but that is why I work afternoons and nights which I kind of dislike because it totally wipes me out. Still if my child was sick and needed me He would be my first priority.
I agree with making a plan and with calling the parents about SusieQ when she isn't sick about making a plan.
I guess we are fortunate that I live in an area with many relatives and one of them is a teacher in the district. My husband's schedule is more flexible than mine and he can realistically leave work anytime to pick up a sick kid.
Our district doesn't have "Resource or School Liaison Officers" . . . but we have used our maintenance director at times to drive kids home. Of course, if there is no parent at home, they have to stay at school.
Not that I insist on playing devil's advocate but I couldn't help to wonder how do you handle cases when a parent actually can't come to pick up their child? Suppose this is a single parent situation? And what if that parent is at work? Maybe they can't afford to leave work long enough to come pick their kid? I've heard of some employers who aren't too family friendly (especially with their female employees). I can think of a few other situations when this would be complicated. I suppose a family relative or friend could be called in but it isn't always easy to organize at the last minute.
How do you handle these cases?
Dany
I *am* a parent of 2, and I am lucky enough to have support. But, I was raised as one of 6 in a severely poor family, mother had no car, and my father was barely around. She had no friends (dad made sure of that), and no family in the state. I spent more than my fair share of days in the nurse's office because I was sick and there was literally no way to get me home aside from the bus.
The "parents have a plan a, b, c, d" is really speaking from a place where you may not understand that people do not always have a support system, and do not have the means for any little thing to go wrong. And before I get "oh well then they should have never have had kids!" chorus, sometimes this happens after the children are born.
Maybe there is something that can be discussed with the mom considering she sounds like she does not have the means to pack up midday and come get her child. Maybe the school can help her find another parent willing to help. Maybe the mother is rude because she is frustrated that she isn't providing well enough for her child, and it hurts even worse to get that phone call. Being proactive, and not reactive, it *always* the better option.
I *am* a parent of 2, and I am lucky enough to have support. But, I was raised as one of 6 in a severely poor family, mother had no car, and my father was barely around. She had no friends (dad made sure of that), and no family in the state. I spent more than my fair share of days in the nurse's office because I was sick and there was literally no way to get me home aside from the bus.
The "parents have a plan a, b, c, d" is really speaking from a place where you may not understand that people do not always have a support system, and do not have the means for any little thing to go wrong. And before I get "oh well then they should have never have had kids!" chorus, sometimes this happens after the children are born.
Maybe there is something that can be discussed with the mom considering she sounds like she does not have the means to pack up midday and come get her child. Maybe the school can help her find another parent willing to help. Maybe the mother is rude because she is frustrated that she isn't providing well enough for her child, and it hurts even worse to get that phone call. Being proactive, and not reactive, it *always* the better option.
Don't assume people are going to chime in with the "Oh well, you should've never have kids." You obviously don't read our posts here if you think that's the case.
If you read posts here you will see many of us allow students to stay in clinic all day if we need to. I have plenty of kids whose parents work 2 jobs and have no phone.
I don't call CPS. It is what it is.
It helps to vent about it with each other.
It's great to have a plan, but I can assure you, no one is being turned out in the street with a fever.
Sorry about your dad and your whole situation, but that has nothing to do with my practice today.
None of what I said was directed at you, completely. I hear and see a lot of judgement here, and it actually hurts my heart for these kids AND the parents. Not everything is black and white, and some of the complaints I am reading are really, really judgmental. And that stinks.
In a perfect world this stuff would not happen, but it isn't and it does.
None of what I said was directed at you, completely. I hear and see a lot of judgement here, and it actually hurts my heart for these kids AND the parents. Not everything is black and white, and some of the complaints I am reading are really, really judgmental. And that stinks.
In a perfect world this stuff would not happen, but it isn't and it does.
None of what I said was directed at you, completely. I hear and see a lot of judgement here, and it actually hurts my heart for these kids AND the parents. Not everything is black and white, and some of the complaints I am reading are really, really judgmental. And that stinks.
In a perfect world this stuff would not happen, but it isn't and it does.
I'm not and never have been a school nurse, so I can only imagine the backstory that might lead the OP to take the car-less mom's reasoning with a grain of salt.
But my first reaction to the OP was similar to yours ... not having a car = neglect or abuse? Really?
Not at all an easy situation. From where I sit, school nurses, like ED nurses, get stuck with the fallout from social ills that have nothing to do with school or nursing.
They also get a good close look at the "dark underbelly" so to speak, of modern parenting ... so, I take the venting in the OP for what it is, not as a judgement on parents unable to afford a car, to lose a job or stay home for the kids.
It is in our policy if the parents aren't able to come we will have to call the ambulance or we call CPS. I had a parent tell me he was an hour away for work and he would try to get there ASAP. I kept calling after a while and then dad said put the kid on the bus cause he was an hour away. Somehow the kid never went on the bus and sat in the office after I left. By 3:15 the office told the social worker about the girl and she got involved. They tried to tell her he was still an hour away and once she told them she was calling CPS they got there in 5 minutes.
It is in our policy if the parents aren't able to come we will have to call the ambulance or we call CPS. I had a parent tell me he was an hour away for work and he would try to get there ASAP. I kept calling after a while and then dad said put the kid on the bus cause he was an hour away. Somehow the kid never went on the bus and sat in the office after I left. By 3:15 the office told the social worker about the girl and she got involved. They tried to tell her he was still an hour away and once she told them she was calling CPS they got there in 5 minutes.
In your case this turned into the boy who cried wolf, but really, that policy does seem kind of harsh. I'd be calling at least once a week.
In your case this turned into the boy who cried wolf, but really, that policy does seem kind of harsh. I'd be calling at least once a week.
I know what you mean. I have been lucky and I haven't had to do this. I think the parents didn't want her to miss a day because she already had too many absences but still...
Some of you will recall a similar time I posted this. If you were to call these same parents we are referring to and tell them the school district had awarded them a $1,000.00 cash assistance grant but they'd need to come pick it up at the school before 2:00 pm, they'd miraculously have transportation for that.
hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I
4 Articles; 5,212 Posts
I think I can speak to this issue as a Nurse I can't just up and leave if I get a call that my kid is sick. My husband works for the federal Govt and has Asperger's which means anything that throws him off routine can shake up the family for weeks. We have no one and I mean no one who can respond to these issues but me. I have a great employer who is great at being flexible so after giving report to her I can usually leave to retrieve that man cub get him home and set up (he's 14) and get back to work if necessary but that is why I work afternoons and nights which I kind of dislike because it totally wipes me out. Still if my child was sick and needed me He would be my first priority.
Hppy