one side love problem between student nurse and doctor

Whispera, MSN, RN · Mar 25, 2015

what is attachment? I am not familiar with the word in connection with nursing school.

it sounds like you wish there could be something between you and him but there isn't? it's not going to help you, in the long run, even though you consider him your motivation, if what you feel is just YOUR feelings. this will not end well if that is the case...

Elou · Mar 25, 2015

Hi Chinglee,

Ok your posts are a bit confusing but this is what I understand. You meet a student Dr through your nursing studies and have a crush on him. You worked up the courage to contact him, but because of some issue (personal or work related) between he and a friend you worry he will not respond well? Is this correct?

So you sound very young from your post. A crush is totally fine, nice part of life, and if thinking about him gets you through tough school work then that works for you. If you still work with this Dr or will in the future then I would suggest keeping your feelings to your self. Any personal interactions, positive or negative, might make the situation awkward for both of you and those around you which is unprofessional. In general it is good to keep your personal life out of the work place, which is why his disagreement with your friend should not be your concern. Good luck going forward.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Mar 25, 2015

First, he is a med student, not a doctor. This means he has an extremely long time to go before he finishes school. Many are aware and some choose to avoid new relationships during this period.

You have facebook messaged him and he did not message back. That tells you his lack of interest. Then a "friend" attempted in some manner to "help" this nonexistent relationship along. He has gotten angry about it. This tells you, HE'S NOT INTERESTED". Otherwise, he would be in contact with you. Any moves by you or the friend will lapse into stalker territory, if they haven't already. Leave him be.

It is never a good idea to use an uninvolved person as a goal in major life issues, for this reason. When that goal falls outside your grasp, one still has the life issue to deal with.

What was your motivation for nursing school before you knew him)

WookieeRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Mar 25, 2015

I really hate to be blunt, but based on what you have presented here:

He's just not into you. Move on.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Mar 25, 2015

There's a book titled "He's Just Not That Into You". You should download it or pick it up, it's a good read & you obviously need to read it.

Don't watch the movie, it sucked & was nothing like the book.

caliotter3 · Mar 25, 2015

Maybe you would get the feedback you desire on a site dealing with dating and matchmaking. This site is supposed to be for nursing and nursing students.

scaredsilly, BSN, RN · Mar 25, 2015

Ummm...WOW! I am thinking that some people go into whatever program they are studying in order to meet mr right. Nursing students=med students. That is SO 1940s!!!

nlitened · Mar 25, 2015

If he was into you as well, then I'm sure he would have let you know. Stalking someone on FB is not the answer. Move on and concentrate on your studies.

SunriseDay · Mar 25, 2015

This is funny bc I've also dreamed about medical guys... probably not the first or the last But, it sounds like he isn't interested in you bc he hasn't responded to the fb msg and then, worse, even got angry bc your friend tried to get the two of you together.

Obviously in a hospital setting or school setting with other medical students, you're probably more likely to see them and talk to them, hence why there seems to be a lot of dr-dr relationships. I guess it's bc they see each other on the same level. If you wanted a dr though, you probably should have gone to medical school, then, to increase the chances the most haha! They're kind of like the lawyer-lawyer lemming relationships (the latter pairing really isn't a good idea bc they both have substantial debt with few job prospects).

It sounds like you are going through nursing school bc you hope to see him again in the hospital after working or during clinicals... but that is a very slim chance given his reaction and it just... is. Most people in medical field probably get in relationships w/ people who are outside of it, though obv there's a high rate of people within the same field. It's cute you have a crush (been there, too). I had a crush on a biz major who I met at a scholarship summit and is president of student council at his college (5 hrs away, though), prob along with hundreds of others . But it sounds like it isn't going to work out. He may even think you just like him bc of his career choice (not a good thing). You'll meet plenty of guys... Good luck!

TexMex22 · Mar 25, 2015

Don't do it. He will be moving on. You sound VERY young from your post. Concentrate on school for now.

Angeljho, MSN, NP · Mar 25, 2015

Clinical is not a match-making service. You're in clinical to develop your skills, not develop a relationship. If you can't focus on honing your skills as a nurse, please get out now. Too many nursing students think their clinical experience is supposed to be like an episode of grey's anatomy and then they're disappointed when their instructor fails them. Keep letting your distractions take priority and your next thread will be, "Flunked out of nursing school. My instructor was mean."

Angeljho, MSN, NP · Mar 25, 2015

This really brings up a serious issue. During nursing school, I had a friend who was attracted to the med-surg nursing instructor/lecturer (Mr. XYZ). She was in his med-surg 1 clinical rotation by chance. However, she was assigned to a different clinical instructor for med-surg 2 and all hell broke loose. She went to the program director and complained that her clinical site was too far just so she can be reassigned to Mr. XYZ's clinical rotation. After a whole lot of back and forth, she was finally reassigned. She went through so many hoops just to be with this instructor and I really felt bad for her.