Hello all.. I am a huge fan of Allnurses and I decided to make this account to ask for some opinions. Let me start off by saying I don't want any advice as I don't plan on being involved in the situation or anything like that. It's just something happening at work that I haven't seen before and everyone else on the floor (and others) thinks it's odd, too, but I'm so new to nursing that I don't have much to go on here so I just wanted to know what everyone else thought.
There is a new male nurse at this facility that had the assignment of a young child (10 years old). This child's mother is a frequent flyer and staff knows her well. She is kind of odd herself, and is not mentally "all there", as we say. Anyway. Mom and daughter are discharged, only to come back two days later.. To visit this nurse, because he asked them to. He is interested in adopting this child. The mother is interested in giving him her child. Now, the information I have comes from the nurse himself, as he is open about the situation and is excited because he has tried in the past to adopt but has been unsuccessful (he didn't elaborate). I also witnessed the child being brought to the facility by another family member on two more occasions where they shared lunch and spent time with the nurse.
Is it just me and the fact that I don't have much experience? Or does this strike anyone else as weird? Is this something that is more common than what I think? I read threads about nurses adopting babies from the NICU and things like that, but couldn't find anything else.
I guess what is the weird factor here is that the nurse and patient/patient family had just met and had only had a few hours of knowing each other (nurse is from out of state). So, during this single encounter, that nurse had to have mentioned something about wanting the child, or at least about wanting the child to come back to visit, within the only 4-5 hours of having interacted with them.
Poor kid. Could you imagine being 10 years old and knowing your mom is not only willing but eager to give you to somebody she just met? I may be odd man out here, but honestly as long as social services and the legal system are involved and ok with it so am I. A friend of mine adopted her son, and the hoops she had to jump through to be approved were pretty daunting. I can't imagine a judge signing off on this adoption if it was determined in any way that the nurse might be an unfit parent so as long as it is approved this may be a good thing. In any case getting CPS involved is in order as it seems the child would best be served by being out of her current environment.
If this male nurse was unable to adopt previously, then the question is why.
Obviously there is a lot going on here that we aren't aware of.
That being said, it is NEVER wrong to make a report to CPS or whichever state or county agency that you have that deals with investigating this type of thing. If they find no evidence of wrongdoing, then fine. Who knows, they may end up facilitating the adoption. But the safety of the child is of paramount importance and if you have a reasonable suspicion then you need to report it. What does YOUR instinct say?
I agree that this needs to be reported to someone, social worker, CPS. I would like to believe that this person has good intentions, but honestly this makes me uneasy. Who gives up a 10 year old for adoption to a stranger? This child may be in danger. What if he wasn't her nurse, but a man she met at the park? What makes this arrangement appropriate?
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I would tell your NM, CPS & law enforcement about this. It sounds super bizarre & creepy! Why would a mother go up to a person she doesn't know, even though she is "not all there" & offer up her child for adoption? Yeah, sounds like a druggy does to get their next hit of X drug.
I agree with what a previous poster stated above....A true licensed nurse wouldn't even have to ask this question, I am assuming it is a homework question, or an ethics class etc.....Or I am hoping that is the case.
This has got to be a homework question, no licensed nurse would need to ask if this were a weird situation as described.
I agree that no licensed nurse would ask if this situation is odd. In fact I don't know any adult who'd ask that question, even if they aren't in the healthcare. Not sure it's homework though, the question is in my opinion a bit too odd even for that.
It's a question that could easily lead to a discussion about abused children and pedophilia. I dunno
OP, why don't you want any advice on a potentially serious situation?
And what do the other people on your floor who also think that this is odd, plan to do?
this is is not the hill I want to die on I agree with most of what you say. However I can't see where this situation crosses the line between unethical and illegal, as you claim. It's not illegal to have interactions with patents and families after discharge, just an ethical danger zone. Also your reading a lot into inferring "depraved thinking" of the nurse in question. I like to thinks there are good intentions all around, unless specific evidence otherwise. It does seem strange and I agree that protective services should be engaged to make sure everything is on the up and up. I would stow the torch and pitchforks, and let the professionals take it from there. At the end of the day all adoptions have to go before a judge so ultimately there will be someone who is quite interested in the circumstances of the situation, I'm sure there will be much explaining to do.
A mother who is, by OP's description,"not all there", discussing with a caregiver of 2 days adopting out her child, bringing the child back to the hospital for "visits" family members bringing the child for "visits"...yes, it would be a hill to die on to protect a kid from believing herself to be property to be bartered by her mentally ill mother.
So yes, it is unethical for this nurse to NOT say "hey, wait a minute, why are you asking ME a virtual stranger, if I want to adopt your child?!" This is not a puppy. Or the group of nurses of not saying "this is a mentally ill person who is making very poor choices at the expense of her child." Because OH GOODY! Now, this nurse has let us ALL in on this mess, now we have obligations that we all rather would not have, but now we have a kid who is powerless. AND not to mention that unless this is a continuation of a previous situation, the only way this nurse is acquainted is due to a hospital stay. So yes, conflict of interest. People get fired and lose licenses for less.
And yes, depraved. Sorry, but honest to pete SERIOUSLY considering this is not even remotely sane. And we are talking about a 10 year old, not a 10 week old. Not that it would be any better, other than the child wouldn't know that the mother apparently has other stuff going on other than to either mother her child, or go through the correct channels to relinquish the child. And because the nurse in question stated that his previous attempts at adoption he was "not approved" then I would be waving a huge red flag. Unless I was the mentally ill mother, who apparently has not a clue. And no one is advising her or protective services otherwise.
nrsang97, BSN, RN
2,602 Posts
Sorry but something is not adding up here.