Hello all.. I am a huge fan of Allnurses and I decided to make this account to ask for some opinions. Let me start off by saying I don't want any advice as I don't plan on being involved in the situation or anything like that. It's just something happening at work that I haven't seen before and everyone else on the floor (and others) thinks it's odd, too, but I'm so new to nursing that I don't have much to go on here so I just wanted to know what everyone else thought.
There is a new male nurse at this facility that had the assignment of a young child (10 years old). This child's mother is a frequent flyer and staff knows her well. She is kind of odd herself, and is not mentally "all there", as we say. Anyway. Mom and daughter are discharged, only to come back two days later.. To visit this nurse, because he asked them to. He is interested in adopting this child. The mother is interested in giving him her child. Now, the information I have comes from the nurse himself, as he is open about the situation and is excited because he has tried in the past to adopt but has been unsuccessful (he didn't elaborate). I also witnessed the child being brought to the facility by another family member on two more occasions where they shared lunch and spent time with the nurse.
Is it just me and the fact that I don't have much experience? Or does this strike anyone else as weird? Is this something that is more common than what I think? I read threads about nurses adopting babies from the NICU and things like that, but couldn't find anything else.
I guess what is the weird factor here is that the nurse and patient/patient family had just met and had only had a few hours of knowing each other (nurse is from out of state). So, during this single encounter, that nurse had to have mentioned something about wanting the child, or at least about wanting the child to come back to visit, within the only 4-5 hours of having interacted with them.
Somebody needs to tell the nurse who is interested in adopting that he is not making smart moves. Yes, nurses sometimes are able to adopt children who may have at one time been under their care in the hospital, but you MUST go through the proper channels or you will never have a chance at being allowed to complete the adoption. If he is serious about adopting this child, he needs to be careful about his interactions with the family and child right now.
I agree that no licensed nurse would ask if this situation is odd. In fact I don't know any adult who'd ask that question, even if they aren't in the healthcare. Not sure it's homework though, the question is in my opinion a bit too odd even for that.
It's a question that could easily lead to a discussion about abused children and pedophilia. I dunno
OP, why don't you want any advice on a potentially serious situation?
And what do the other people on your floor who also think that this is odd, plan to do?
There are people who post weird scenarios like this on boards in order to get a nasty thrill out of the inevitable discussion about terrible things. I volunteered for a suicide hotline at one point, and every so often we'd get a call from someone who was clearly having a good time telling us a story about awful things. It's pretty disgusting, and this story smells similarly of BS. First red flag is "I decided to make this account to ask for some opinions." They started an account specifically to ask this question, for which they want no advice? Uh huh.
How about this: The mother mentioned to the nurse that the needs of her daughter are beyond what she can manage and wished there was someone smart and caring like the nurse that could adopt her, but at her age with ongoing medical issues, she was afraid she could never find the right person to give the child up to. The nurse, loves children, but for whatever reason has not had any-(single, gay, whatever...) but would be thrilled to offer this child a loving home. Yea, it's a little odd, but so is any mother giving up a child after 9-10 years. I don't think we need to go to the "possible unsavory motives" route at all. Men in nursing who enjoy working with children are not necessarily sexual deviants with predatory motives! Strange at it may seem some men love children and enjoy providing for their needs. If this story is true, I rejoice for the nurse and the girl, wish them only love and happiness. Also, I hope the mother can continue to be involved in her birth daughters life in some way if she so desires.
I don't think the issue is the nurse's gender. It's the fact that a mother would willingly give up a 9-10 YO child to a virtual stranger she met the other day. It would be freaky if the nurse in question was female as well.
Is it odd? Yea for sure. It it any stranger than an agency or website that matches children with adoptive parents... I don't think so. PA has a website with pictures and biographies of children up for adoption, it feels like a dating site. I don't think it's worse to say I met your birth mother in the hospital, as opposed to I saw your picture on a website.
As far as agency websites, those potential parents are vetted, background and financials are disclosed, as well as psychological tests. Adoptive parents aren't just randomly matched, but they meet with the child a few times to see if the child is a good fit for the family.
I very much doubt that the "mother" in question is offering up her child for free to a random stranger. Nurse or not. Something fishy is going on.
I don't think the issue is the nurse's gender. It's the fact that a mother would willingly give up a 9-10 YO child to a virtual stranger she met the other day. It would be freaky if the nurse in question was female as well.
This was my first thought, too. It is a strange situation, but I find it even stranger that people are making a point of the nurse's gender. In my mind, though, when I hear "male nurse", I wonder if that person also uses "female doctor" or "black pharmacist".
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
This is either a troll post, or something very ****** going on. If this is even remotely for real, there need to be phone calls to 1. Hospital admin 2. CPS (or CSD or whatever they're called in your state) 3. Police 4. BON. YESTERDAY.
I decided to make this account to ask for some opinions. Let me start off by saying I don't want any advice as I don't plan on being involved in the situation or anything like that.
OP, I'm still curious why you don't want any advice. Whether or not you plan on becoming involved or not at the present time, doesn't mean that advice would necessarily be a bad thing.
So, during this single encounter, that nurse had to have mentioned something about wanting the child, or at least about wanting the child to come back to visit, within the only 4-5 hours of having interacted with them.
Is it just me and the fact that I don't have much experience? Or does this strike anyone else as weird?
A parent meets another person and after four or five hours the parent wants to permanently "give" their child to a virtual stranger. Are you seriously wondering if this is unusual or strange? For the record, it is.
Mom and daughter are discharged, only to come back two days later..
Was both the mother and the ten-year-old child admitted to your floor and subsequently discharged. I'm curious, what kind of floor is this?
Also, the patient is a 10 year old girl. Not sure if that makes a difference because the whole thing would be weird either way, given that they've only known each other for such a short time.
You are correct. Neither the gender of the child nor the nurse makes a difference. The situation is strange either way.
She is kind of odd herself, and is not mentally "all there", as we say.
In what sense is the mother not "all there". Does she have a medical diagnosis?
It's just something happening at work that I haven't seen before and everyone else on the floor (and others) thinks it's odd, too, but I'm so new to nursing that I don't have much to go on here so I just wanted to know what everyone else thought.
Again, what do your more experienced coworkers have to say about this? Is everyone content just sitting there and thinking that the whole thing's odd or does someone actually plan on doing something?
If there is a risk that a child is abused or neglected a nurse has a legal obligation to act/report.
I'll be frank with you OP. I read the part where you said that you're a new nurse and I realize that it's a steep learning curve and a new nurse has a lot of information, knowledge and responsibilities to learn how to master. But what's in my opinion conspicuously missing from your post is concern for this child's welfare. It feels more like a curious but somewhat detached contemplation of a specimen under a microscope or a puzzling sociological phenomenon.
I must have missed it. But if he tried to adopt before and it fell through, then he knows the ropes. Home studies, etc. If he is excited, then he must believe he is eligible to adopt. If they go before a judge, the Judge will want all the details. At the age of 10, the child will get some sort of say so over the situation.
Even with private adoption, there are some rules.
If you believe him having such a discussion with a client is against the rules, then report him.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
And this is why ethics in nursing should be a subject taught extensively in EVERY nursing school in the nation. People do not know when they are crossing the line and behaving unethically. The whole situation is very wrong indeed.
As far as agency websites, those potential parents are vetted, background and financials are disclosed, as well as psychological tests. Adoptive parents aren't just randomly matched, but they meet with the child a few times to see if the child is a good fit for the family.
I very much doubt that the "mother" in question is offering up her child for free to a random stranger. Nurse or not. Something fishy is going on.
Funny. I didn't need any of thins things to get on the website. Nor would I to start the adoption process. Of course they may be required eventually, and if the nurse in question provides them to the satisfaction of the authority's, then who am I to judge. everyone seem to think that this deal is going down behind someones back. Truth is even pear to pear privet adoption is a circus of hurdles and hoops. If it's scenario is real, which I'm sure it's not, then all the op need do is let the system work.
Julius Seizure
1 Article; 2,282 Posts
Somebody needs to tell the nurse who is interested in adopting that he is not making smart moves. Yes, nurses sometimes are able to adopt children who may have at one time been under their care in the hospital, but you MUST go through the proper channels or you will never have a chance at being allowed to complete the adoption. If he is serious about adopting this child, he needs to be careful about his interactions with the family and child right now.