Nurse Kept my Great Grandfathers wedding Ring

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Okay this is a little complicated but i have a question. I was very upset to find out from my grandmother that my great grandfather has given his wedding ring to a nurse who works at the long term care facility he is in( my grandfather does have a dx of dementia) My grandma is the poa and she states that if that is what he wants then she can't do anything about it because he is in his right mind ( which although he can carry on long lucid conversations he does at times forget some things which is not my point anyway) what i am really upset about is that the nurse kept the ring in the first place and when i called the facility they told me that since my grandma who is the POA and my great grandfather are notupset about it there is nothing anyone else in our family can do and the nurse can keep the ring. I am soooo mad:mad: Is it ethical for this nurse to keep the ring

Some people feel giving gifts improves care for a family member in a facility. An atmosphere of having to give gifts to staff can develop. Compentency is not the issue, providing gifts and gratuities is the issue. Illegal, morally wrong and violation of policy. A person insisted I take $25 in a card one time because she felt I gave great care to a family member. She refused to take it back. I gave her a thank you note explaining that I was happy to pass her very generous gift on to the patient general fund in the LTC where I was CNA.

Never allow anyone to think 'extras' would be appreciated. This can undermine a person's proffessional standing. I may accept a piece of candy, or a piece of cake if all care members can partake. People are wonderful and want to be generous, it can create a situation where people fell they have to be generous in order for thier family to get the best care. NEVER accept gifts. NEVER.

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Specializes in LTC.

I would call the facility back and state "this is a form of abuse and if my grandfather doesn't get his ring back, we'll be contacting the BON and the obudsman, and whatever other agency is appropriate."

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I would call the facility back and state "this is a form of abuse and if my grandfather doesn't get his ring back, we'll be contacting the BON and the obudsman, and whatever other agency is appropriate."

Ditto that and add "I will also be contacting local news media, to make the PUBLIC aware of the facts of this situation."

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
I said his diagnosis has nothing to do with the LEGALITIES of being competent. Many people have dementia and an appointed HCP...doesn't mean it has to be invoked.

Again...I think it was horrid of the nurse to keep this gift and certainly if she worked for me she would have been reprimanded.

You do not have to be found mentally incompetent IN ADVANCE for it to be a violation of nursing ethics, enough to affect your license and is a clear violation of the nurse practice act.

All she would have to show is the medical diagnosis in order to prove it is true.

There was a recent news story of a HOSPICE patient, not legally incompetent, engaged in a MUTUAL sexual relationship with his nurse by HIS OWN accounts on her OWN time.

Guess why she lost her license? Because the patient LATER claimed he was taken advantage of...he was never considered legally incompetent to make his own decisions.

You think sex is different? It is not...because she was never charged with sexual battery or abuse...but she was found to have taken advantage of someone in a VULNERABLE medical state...that was their rationale for REVOKING her license.

Dementia, is about as vulnerable as it gets.

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Specializes in ER.
You do not have to be found mentally incompetent IN ADVANCE for it to be a violation of nursing ethics, enough to affect your license and is a clear violation of the nurse practice act.

All she would have to show is the medical diagnosis in order to prove it is true.

There was a recent news story of a HOSPICE patient, not legally incompetent, engaged in a MUTUAL sexual relationship with his nurse by HIS OWN accounts on her OWN time.

Guess why she lost her license? Because the patient LATER claimed he was taken advantage of...he was never considered legally incompetent to make his own decisions.

You think sex is different? It is not...because she was never charged with sexual battery or abuse...but she was found to have taken advantage of someone in a VULNERABLE medical state...that was their rationale for REVOKING her license.

Dementia, is about as vulnerable as it gets.

completely agree. Great points. :)

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You do not have to be found mentally incompetent IN ADVANCE for it to be a violation of nursing ethics, enough to affect your license and is a clear violation of the nurse practice act.

All she would have to show is the medical diagnosis in order to prove it is true.

There was a recent news story of a HOSPICE patient, not legally incompetent, engaged in a MUTUAL sexual relationship with his nurse by HIS OWN accounts on her OWN time.

Guess why she lost her license? Because the patient LATER claimed he was taken advantage of...he was never considered legally incompetent to make his own decisions.

You think sex is different? It is not...because she was never charged with sexual battery or abuse...but she was found to have taken advantage of someone in a VULNERABLE medical state...that was their rationale for REVOKING her license.

Dementia, is about as vulnerable as it gets.

That story about the hospice patient is a little more complicated as she was engaged in the relationship while caring for the patient and not just on her own time. Wrong, regardless.

Contacting the Ombudsman is the right thing to do and asap. Let us know what happens.

Accepting a gift like this crosses the professional boundaries we as nurses are legally required to uphold.

steph

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VERY UNETHICAL. call the state ombudsman, speak to the administrator and director of nursing. I work in a nursing home and it is very clear that we are NOT TO ACCEPT anything from patients or family members. Your grandfather has DEMENTIA, so no he is not 100% in the right state of mind to understand some of his actions. Your grandmother has durable power of attorney and therefore is the representative for your grandfather and yes, she can do somethinng about it. The ombudsman will come out and investigate this. The nurse is violating her scope of practice in taking the ring especially from a man with dementia. The person who told you that there is nothing they can do is an idiot and don't believe that there is nothing you can do. That nurse who accept the ring can get fired for doing this. You can even threaten to report to the Department of Health Service if you really want them to get scared. That might just do it because anyone who works in a nursing home will do anything to prevent the dept of health services from coming out to do an investigation. They have the power to fire nurses on the spot, take away a nursing home's license and prevent them from getting reimbursements form medicare. but i would first contact the ombudsman, which should be posted visible in the nuring home before jumping to the gun and threatening them with calling the dept of health services. :mad:

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Specializes in Home health was tops, 2nd was L&D.

I would speak with LPN and request the ring be returned and then hav grandmother take it home to be placed in safe keeping. If she refuses I would go to DON and explain I wanted it returned by a specific deadline and if it is not you are reporting it to the state. Accpeting gifts of value is illegal and unethical..how do we know the ring was not requested in order for him to receives services??? Not saying it was but a valid point to bring up to DON and then the state.. If he is in under Medicare/Medicaid I would also report there. Heck they do not allow marketers to provide lunches anymore,, they are not going to like a RING being kept.. trust me.

And do not be afraid to go to the state.. someone is bound to say they could make it "rough" for the patient..in my experience the patient gets better care, they may not like the family though.

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

The DPH can NOT fire anyone on the spot or any other way for that matter. They come in and make sure the regulations are being followed, but they do not get involved in hiring or firing of staff members.

If you really want to make sure something is done, call the Attorney General's office in your state. They can't fire anyone either but they most likely would come out and do an investigation.

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Okay there are some really good ideas in this thread. Collectively I would say, speak to the LPN and let her know that she has 24 hours to return the ring before you go to the DON. Remind her of the nurses that have lost their licenses for similar unethical behavior, and the BON and media will be made aware of her actions, should she fail to comply. If she does not return it, go IN PERSON to meet with the DON and administrator if possible and give them 5 days to either get the LPN to return the item or terminate her for unethical behavior. If they refuse make them aware of the fact that you will be contacting reporting them ALL to (the facility, LPN, DON, & administrator):

The BON

Ombudsman

Medicare

The State Dept of Health and Hospitals

The State Board of Nursing Home Administrators (if you have one)

the News Media

Hell I would even hand out flyers to other patients family members before they enter the parking lot, making them aware.

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Absolutely not! I cannot believe the facility is okay with tnis. The nurse should be ashamed of herself.

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We all agree that it was very unethical that the nurse accepted this gift, however, if the Resident and the POA, are both saying that it is okay for her to accept it.. I don't see where it needs to go any further. How do we know that the admin didn't start an investigation, and was simply told that that they wanted this nurse to have it? Then sat down the the nurse and told her what they had discovered, and then educated her on ethics and told her not to accept any future gifts from residents. If the grand-daughter isn't POA they don't have to discuss any of this with her. Yes shame on the nurse, but we can't judge the facility without knowing for sure if it was investigated, and I'm willing to bet that it was.

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