Nurse Kept my Great Grandfathers wedding Ring

systoly · Mar 13, 2011

Here's what you can do. Explain to your family that the POA has the final say in this matter and she has made her decision, however, you are looking into the legal aspects. Compile a list of places to contact such as Ombudsman, senior protection agencies, etc. then delegate these responsibilities to various family members. By doing this you have taken initiative without being the only one left holding the bag.

steelydanfan · Mar 13, 2011

It is unethical for the nurse to accept any gift with monetary value, except things like food or flowers. It is HIGHLY unethical for a nurse to accept a gift with such emotional and monetary value, and I cannot believe the SNF has not suspended or fired her for such an inappropriate act.

Since the pt. has been diagnosed with Altzheimers, all of his decisions are subject to the POA's review, and they have the final say.

neuroms · Mar 13, 2011

The facility and the nurse in question are both substandard. Accepting any gift of significant monetary value, usually > $25, is considered unethical across the spectrum of care providers in the U.S. As others have said, contact your state's Board of Nursing and ombudsman. I am so sorry your family has been put in this situation.

CloudySue · Mar 13, 2011

The fact that this nurse will not return phone calls makes me suspect that she's already sold the ring. Who in the world would want to keep someone else's wedding band? Those types of items are family heirlooms that get passed down, as everyone knows, or should know.

This makes me think of the time a resident, an outgoing, 50 year old man who has CP and MR with savant-like skills, gave a beautiful gold bracelet to one of our activity assistants. He had a crush on her and the family went out and got it for this man to give to her, "her girlfriend", as they referred to her. The entire family was there to see her open it. She was extremely uncomfortable being put on the spot like that. Fortunately our facility has a strict no-gift policy. In this case it protected the employee, who already had been uncomfortable about the crush, let alone the family supporting it. She is even married! She gave the bracelet to HR who tactfully gave it back to the family, very relieved to have an "out", not being able to accept the bracelet.

caliotter3 · Mar 13, 2011

If the administrator of the facility had any morals, the employee would have been called to the office and told to relinquish the ring and the adminstrator would have returned the ring to the family without delay.

handyrn · Mar 13, 2011

I ran into a similar situation a few years ago while being in charge at an assisted living. I called my state board of nursing or department of health (I don't remember which anymore) to help me solve this. I was told that this is a form of elder abuse. Manipulating the elderly person in order to gain their possesions or money. There was also a wife involved in my situation, and guess what? She was being abused as well. So here is what I have to say about your situation: this nurse is guilty of elder abuse due to misuse of personal property. She is not only abusing your great grandfather, but also his wife, even though she may not be the patient, she is an elderly person (I'm assuming) and is also protected by the elder abuse laws. Maybe the facility is guilty as well for allowing this to occur? Call your ombudsman immediately for assistance with this! If the nurse ended up selling the ring, you want to start looking for it now before it's trail is lost.

CapeCodMermaid, RN · Mar 13, 2011

We do not allow any staff member to accept a gift from a resident or family unless it's a pizza or box of chocolate for the unit.

However, this doesn't seem to reach the level of what would be considered abuse. If the gentleman has not been declared incompetent, he is free to give his belongings away. His diagnosis has nothing to do with the legalities of competency.

Certainly it was really stupid of the nurse to accept this gift. I've had family members scream at me for NOT accepting a gift. We make it clear that we could be fired for taking a gift from a resident or family member.

3dayRN · Mar 13, 2011

In my state a nurse cannot accept non perishable items. So, flowers,, food, candy etc. Are ok. NOT jewelry.

MassED, BSN, RN · Mar 13, 2011

We do not allow any staff member to accept a gift from a resident or family unless it's a pizza or box of chocolate for the unit.
However, this doesn't seem to reach the level of what would be considered abuse. If the gentleman has not been declared incompetent, he is free to give his belongings away. His diagnosis has nothing to do with the legalities of competency.
Certainly it was really stupid of the nurse to accept this gift. I've had family members scream at me for NOT accepting a gift. We make it clear that we could be fired for taking a gift from a resident or family member.

not true. A person with Dementia has a diagnosis that absolutely interferes with his competency for making sound decisions. Whether or not he has been declared incompetent has NOTHING to do with the fact that he was being taken advantage of from a competent medical professional by taking something of his. Whether or not it was given does not make a bit of difference. He has a disease that effects his reasoning/judgment/decision-making ability.

BabyLady, BSN, RN · Mar 13, 2011

Okay this is a little complicated but i have a question. I was very upset to find out from my grandmother that my great grandfather has given his wedding ring to a nurse who works at the long term care facility he is in( my grandfather does have a dx of dementia) My grandma is the poa and she states that if that is what he wants then she can't do anything about it because he is in his right mind ( which although he can carry on long lucid conversations he does at times forget some things which is not my point anyway) what i am really upset about is that the nurse kept the ring in the first place and when i called the facility they told me that since my grandma who is the POA and my great grandfather are notupset about it there is nothing anyone else in our family can do and the nurse can keep the ring. I am soooo mad:mad: Is it ethical for this nurse to keep the ring

No...she accepted a gift from a patient who did not have all their faculties together..thus the entire reason why the grandmother has the POA over your grandfather.

That is taking advantage of a patient....and it is not only against ethics, I would wager the BON wouldn't like it either.

As a member of the public, if you do have direct knowledge of it, I would demand that the facility require the nurse to return the ring or I would be filing a complaint with the BON...and you do not have to be a family member to do that.

BabyLady, BSN, RN · Mar 13, 2011

We do not allow any staff member to accept a gift from a resident or family unless it's a pizza or box of chocolate for the unit.
However, this doesn't seem to reach the level of what would be considered abuse. If the gentleman has not been declared incompetent, he is free to give his belongings away. His diagnosis has nothing to do with the legalities of competency.
Certainly it was really stupid of the nurse to accept this gift. I've had family members scream at me for NOT accepting a gift. We make it clear that we could be fired for taking a gift from a resident or family member.

Abuse, maybe the wrong word, but it is taking advantage of someone with dementia.

The grandmother would not have POA if the grandfather could make decisions for himself..there would be no need.

So yes, major ethics violation.

CapeCodMermaid, RN · Mar 13, 2011

I said his diagnosis has nothing to do with the LEGALITIES of being competent. Many people have dementia and an appointed HCP...doesn't mean it has to be invoked.

Again...I think it was horrid of the nurse to keep this gift and certainly if she worked for me she would have been reprimanded.