Nurse Kept my Great Grandfathers wedding Ring

Specialties Geriatric

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Okay this is a little complicated but i have a question. I was very upset to find out from my grandmother that my great grandfather has given his wedding ring to a nurse who works at the long term care facility he is in( my grandfather does have a dx of dementia) My grandma is the poa and she states that if that is what he wants then she can't do anything about it because he is in his right mind ( which although he can carry on long lucid conversations he does at times forget some things which is not my point anyway) what i am really upset about is that the nurse kept the ring in the first place and when i called the facility they told me that since my grandma who is the POA and my great grandfather are notupset about it there is nothing anyone else in our family can do and the nurse can keep the ring. I am soooo mad:mad: Is it ethical for this nurse to keep the ring

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

Nope and probably violates BON codes if this person actually is a nurse.

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Specializes in Pulmonary.

Unacceptable. The nurse should not even consider taking the ring. The only way to accept a gift is if everyone who is working in the unit can receive the same gift....For example, Pizza, if a resident wants to buy pizza for everyone for appreciation that would be OK.

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Specializes in ICU, M/S,Nurse Supervisor, CNS.

WOW!!! That seems very unethical! I could never in good faith accept such a gift from a patient. I'm surprised the facility would allow such behavior from staff.

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She is an LVN, I do not know what to do since I have talked to Administration at the facility and I am not the POA and my grandma says she is fine with it if that is what my grandfather wants. I am sooo frustrated I know that i would never accept anything from my pts. so i can not understand how this nurse would accept the ring even if my greatgrandfather and my grandma say its ok.

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I would talk to the LVN and tell her to give the ring back. Explain that this is not ethical, that the wife is upset, and that it's plain wrong. Even if she is an unlicenced worker, she should listen to reason and give the ring back, because it is wrong for her to take it.

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Specializes in ER.

you are right. She shouldn't have kept that. We can't accept gifts in any shape/form that is "usually" over $25, I think is the standard. I'd contact the nursing home and start there. If you're still getting push back, tell them you are going to take it up with the BON and file an ethics complaint. Maybe that'll get their attention. That LVN is wrong. The nursing home knows she's wrong. YOU know she is wrong.

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Specializes in Student VN | Critical Care.

As much as I want to agree with how mad you are, if he was lucid enough to make his own decisions why does that bother YOU what he does with HIS property?? Nurses and their patients in long term care have a lot of time to bond and form relationships.. Maybe if you spent more time with your grandfather, he would have given it to you..

You all can hate me if you want for that comment but anyone who has worked/learned in a LTC knows what I'm talking about.. patients who never get seen by their loved ones and are depressed and lonely.. It happens all too much.

Apart from that, It is HIGHLY unethical of the nurse to accept the gift.

In most facilities, accepting "gifts" is against policy if over a certain dollar amount.

If you are insistent on getting the ring back or looking for vengeance then call the facility's nursing manager.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

Please contact your state Ombudsman for long term care. By law, the facility must post information in a prominent place regarding the Ombudsman service.

This is a perfect example of an issue that s/he can address in a manner that the facility appears unwilling to do.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

In my state, accepting non perishable gifts or gifts of value is illegal. Why do you feel that "this is a little complicated"? The patient has a POA. That's usually the person in charge of the patient's property and finances. What is your great grandfather's reason for doing this? Anyway, I believe the facility's response is even more alarming than staff accepting such gifts.

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As much as I want to agree with how mad you are, if he was lucid enough to make his own decisions why does that bother YOU what he does with HIS property?? Nurses and their patients in long term care have a lot of time to bond and form relationships.. Maybe if you spent more time with your grandfather, he would have given it to you..

You all can hate me if you want for that comment but anyone who has worked/learned in a LTC knows what I'm talking about.. patients who never get seen by their loved ones and are depressed and lonely.. It happens all too much.

I Agree that some families do not come see their family members in LTC facilities and i also agree that residents can come close with staff that are there day in and day out the problem I have with this is that I do visit my greatgrandfather and I in fact until just the last week worked as a charge nurse on the unit my grandfather is in so I in fact did see him every day and I visit on day's off as well, that point aside, the issue i have is with the nurse who by the way has only worked with my grandfather for a few months, Keeping the ring in the first place i feel she should have good judgement enough to know better and she does know that my grandfather has dementia and he is by no means in his complete right mind EX: he at times refers to my grandma who is his daughter as his wife.

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In my state, accepting non perishable gifts or gifts of value is illegal. Why do you feel that "this is a little complicated"? The patient has a POA. That's usually the person in charge of the patient's property and finances. What is your great grandfather's reason for doing this? Anyway, I believe the facility's response is even more alarming than staff accepting such gifts.

I have tried to talk to my grandma who is the POA and she says that she wants to respect my grandfathers wishes, she believes my grandfather is in his right mind which he is not. I really am just upset that the nurse kept the ring in the first place but I feel like i can do nothing My family is looking at me to do something since i am a nurse and I have worked at this facility but honestly i don't know what i can do, since i have tried calling the facility and they are telling me they cant do anything and the nurse in question will not answer or return my phone calls.

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