Nurse Kept my Great Grandfathers wedding Ring

[ladimandy]

Okay this is a little complicated but i have a question. I was very upset to find out from my grandmother that my great grandfather has given his wedding ring to a nurse who works at the long term care facility he is in( my grandfather does have a dx of dementia) My grandma is the poa and she states that if that is what he wants then she can't do anything about it because he is in his right mind ( which although he can carry on long lucid conversations he does at times forget some things which is not my point anyway) what i am really upset about is that the nurse kept the ring in the first place and when i called the facility they told me that since my grandma who is the POA and my great grandfather are notupset about it there is nothing anyone else in our family can do and the nurse can keep the ring. I am soooo mad:mad: Is it ethical for this nurse to keep the ring

[BrookeeLou_RN]

I am willing to bet the grandmother is heart broken but totally afraid to make waves due to back-lash she perceives will occur. And remember that generation is of the belief DR and nurses would never do any wrong. If they investigated the grand-daughter could simply be told.

[FocusRN]

I am willing to bet the grandmother is heart broken but totally afraid to make waves due to back-lash she perceives will occur.

Ditto. This nurse has basically strong-armed her way into keeping the ring. The husband has dementia, and (POA or not) the wife is elderly who just doesn't want any harm to come to her husband. If this isn't elder abuse, and IMPLIED extortion (of the wife), I don't know what is.

Extortion is the threat of some future harm rather than immediate harm. This nurse is a person in charge of this man's life. And after accepting this valuable gift from ANY patient (let alone an elder with dementia), a reasonable person could assume that if someone were to make waves with this issue, the nurse could and would use her position for retribution.

This is EXACTLY why that nurse having the affair lost her license. She carried on an inappropriate relationship with a patient (she is the nurse and is in a position of power), then after it was said and done the emotionally vulnerable patient took his life.

If it were my family I'd have her a** roasted and served on a platter. And she'd be very lucky, if I never saw her in the street.

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

It is absolutely immoral to accept the wedding ring of a married man under any circumstance...

The fact that it is highly unethical for her to accept and KEEP such an item just compounds that.

Perhaps he insisted she take the ring and she didn't want to hurt his feelings. FINE! But the minute his WIFE (good God it's a wedding ring, for crying out loud) came to visit you pull her aside, hand her the ring, and explain that he insisted you take it as a gift. That is the only RIGHT way to handle this situation, if you ask me. Now- if grandma then too insists you keep the 'gift'.. I'm really not sure how to further proceed. Perhaps keep it on hand and give it to the next available family member who shows up?

A grandparents wedding ring is a family heirloom. NOBODY should accept a gift like that outside of the family or close friends.

This nurse sounds like she has questionable ethics. I wonder what she did with the ring? (pawn it for cash, maybe? what else would she do with it?)

Inappropriate to the 10th degree.

[marthyellen]

I am confused according to the op this is her great grand father and her grand mother is the POA? That means it is his daughter not his wife who said that the nurse could keep his ring. So he is not married.

I do not feel the OP has any say into what her grandmother and great grandfather do with their personal items. Most corporations/facilities have policies against accepting gifts but I do not think it is illegal.

Having said this I do think it is unethical.

[BrookeeLou_RN]

I am confused according to the op this is her great grand father and her grand mother is the POA? That means it is his daughter not his wife who said that the nurse could keep his ring. So he is not married.

I do not feel the OP has any say into what her grandmother and great grandfather do with their personal items. Most corporations/facilities have policies against accepting gifts but I do not think it is illegal.

Having said this I do think it is unethical.

Yep, you are right but does not mean he is not married.. but one would assume he may be widowed since he was wearing the ring to start with.. This is still a family thing. Ring would be passed down usually. OP actually has the right to do or say anything she wants..it is her family.

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

Sorry- I misunderstood.. I still believe it's highly inappropriate to accept such an intimate gift.. Even if he is widowed.. It's his wedding ring. No way!

[achot chavi]

It is possible that your grandmother is afraid of backlash or revenge from the nurse or staff if she insists on the ring back and therefore she is taking this attitude. (ask her) It is certainly unethical behavior and should be reported to the Director of Nursing services and I would tell them that you are going to call the Board of Nursing, and make a stink about this in the papers. We are not allowed to accept gifts of that nature and I shudder when I think how the nurse even accepted it. She should have returned it right away to your grandmother and told them that she is flattered but is not allowed to accept such gifts. She had lowered our whole profession to that of waitresses who require tips. Please know that most nurses would not have acted in this manner, and most facilities would certainly have insisted that the nurse return it.

So sorry this has happened to you. THis LVN should be ashamed of herself.