Last week, I sent a student home sick. While she was there, the mom of said child took me aside and told me of disturbing conversations her 8 yo son claims he had with a classmate.
Apparently the classmate has been telling the other kids all kinds of things about sex, that he's had sex, and that his (HS age) sister touches his private parts. He used a number of very crude terms to identify anatomy that are not at all something an 8 or 9 year old should know, much less say. He also remarked about some deviant sex acts.
Understand that this child has, in the past, been very fantastical in his thinking. He definitely has issues and values "shocking" people. He has also suffered from anxiety and some behavioral issues.
The mom who confided her concerns had told the teacher as well, and was very upset that these things were brought forth at school.
The teacher and I both contacted our school counselor as well as the Principal. Later today, they claimed it has all been "handled" since the Principal called both mothers and the "tell all" child had been spoken to. Nobody has spoken to either child in school at this point.
The teacher and I were both told to just let it go.
But we both feel that is not the right thing to do. That the Counselor should sit down with the "teller" and in a gentle way, try to determine what is going on on this poor kid's life that would cause him to act out like that.
I am prepared to make a report to CPS, but I worry I might be jumping the gun, with no follow through from our counselor. Or anyone so far. I am still leaning toward doing it. BUT it will throw the counselor under the bus, since she has not taken action, and CPS meets in her office. I know the safety of the child should trump the feelings of the Principal and Counselor, but as you know, I have to think this through.
I appreciate everyone's input and objective opinion.
Oh, trust me..I have hotlined before against the wishes of the Principal. I wish he had more of a backbone with these things. But he knows I don't need his "ok." I will update soon. I couldn't even sleep last night thinking about it.
I would call that in. Just telling the principal and the counselor and letting them deal with it just doesn't cut it for me. We're mandatory reporters, and if something is truly happening to this kiddo and and it's brought forth later that you suspected and didn't act, it wouldn't be good. Aside from that, I'd want the kid to get help, whether it's in the form of formal counseling if this is really fantastical thinking or history of past trauma coming forth or if he's truly being abused. Just my two cents.
Report. I hate that the admin wanted to just "drop it". Something is very wrong in this child's home life, and it warrants an immediate report for investigation.
I'm surprised the administration and councilor at your school didn't take this more seriously.
Report. I hate that the admin wanted to just "drop it". Something is very wrong in this child's home life, and it warrants an immediate report for investigation.
I'm surprised the administration and councilor at your school didn't take this more seriously.
Oh you know . . . kids will be kids.
(I've mentioned before but the little darlings in my local elementary school have seen way more stuff about sex than I knew about at 17. All via social media/tech stuff. And then they try it out on each other. Or . . . maybe they get molested by a family member who was "forgiven" by the other adults and allowed to have access to the kids in the family. I could go on and on . . . )
Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
I'm still blown away that child was "spoken to" rather than ASKED about what was going on!
Being told to not talk about sexual things at school.... who the heck is the child supposed to turn to for help????
It's one thing to say not to talk to KIDS about sex, but to say it can't be discussed at school just takes away their entire access to adults who can help.
*sigh*
OP, I'm grateful that you're there for this child!
Sorry your administration is at odds with you on this. It's scary that the the principal thinks a call to the parents is enough. You know what's right in this situation, hopefully your principal realizes it too!
I say this is a CPS call. As mentioned many times, we only have to have a suspicion and it is up to them to do the actual investigating.
It is sad to see anyone be put in this position by their administrator. I was once asked not to report something by a principal because the parent in question was the PTA president. C'mon now - that makes no difference!! My suspicions were in fact substantiated...
Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.
I commend you on being an advocate for this child. I am not a school nurse but work in pediatric urology. I have had several kids over the years disclose to me in a visit that they were abused and made the call to CPS several times. A kid at age 8, should not know the amount of detailed sexual things he was describing. Means something is going on. Even if he just has access to it on tv/internet, is still very wrong. I also agree with the previous poster who was baffled that the principal told the child to never talk about sex at school....he lost his outlet to tell someone what is going on!!! Please keep us updated! I bet this kid is being abused or is witnessing abuse.
If your administration fails to back you up, turn their attention to Prince George's County in Maryland. They very recently had a kid report that he was being touched inappropriately by a volunteer and the staff made light of it and dismissed the kid and the problem. Well...the situation BLEW up and they have 13 kids involved - all victims. Principal and others on 'administrative leave' FBI is involved and on and on...
So I say all that to say, go with your gut and at the end of the day the child is what matters in all of this.
)
SnowyJ, RN
844 Posts
Oh, trust me..I have hotlined before against the wishes of the Principal. I wish he had more of a backbone with these things. But he knows I don't need his "ok." I will update soon. I couldn't even sleep last night thinking about it.