Last week, I sent a student home sick. While she was there, the mom of said child took me aside and told me of disturbing conversations her 8 yo son claims he had with a classmate.
Apparently the classmate has been telling the other kids all kinds of things about sex, that he's had sex, and that his (HS age) sister touches his private parts. He used a number of very crude terms to identify anatomy that are not at all something an 8 or 9 year old should know, much less say. He also remarked about some deviant sex acts.
Understand that this child has, in the past, been very fantastical in his thinking. He definitely has issues and values "shocking" people. He has also suffered from anxiety and some behavioral issues.
The mom who confided her concerns had told the teacher as well, and was very upset that these things were brought forth at school.
The teacher and I both contacted our school counselor as well as the Principal. Later today, they claimed it has all been "handled" since the Principal called both mothers and the "tell all" child had been spoken to. Nobody has spoken to either child in school at this point.
The teacher and I were both told to just let it go.
But we both feel that is not the right thing to do. That the Counselor should sit down with the "teller" and in a gentle way, try to determine what is going on on this poor kid's life that would cause him to act out like that.
I am prepared to make a report to CPS, but I worry I might be jumping the gun, with no follow through from our counselor. Or anyone so far. I am still leaning toward doing it. BUT it will throw the counselor under the bus, since she has not taken action, and CPS meets in her office. I know the safety of the child should trump the feelings of the Principal and Counselor, but as you know, I have to think this through.
I appreciate everyone's input and objective opinion.
OP, sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, I've had to contact CPS more than I'd like. If they feel they can act on your information, they will. I've sometimes called and they've said they couldn't do much about a situation, but more often than not they send someone to check on things. As another poster said, you are mandated to report. Let your mind rest easy... if you can't stop thinking about it, you should probably call. The principal won't be able to prove you were the one that did it.
Yikes. I'm onboard with reporting. Better to report and find nothing than to find out in a year that this child needed the help. It would put my mind at ease.
We had a (someone tense) meeting this AM The principal has an issue with reporting since the child did not come to an adult with the information, but another child. My point was that the child in question seems reliable, so it is worth investigating.
The problem is. the Principal already called the parents who have told the student NOT to discuss things of a sexual nature at school. So now when the counselor tries to talk to him, he may clam up.
I feel the Principal jumped the gun in calling the parents and expecting them to handle it.
The plan is to try to gather a little more info and then I will call CPS. The student is out sick today.
Thank you all so much for the support. It helps a lot.
You don't need to have concrete proof to contact CPS. From what you said here I think you have a strong reasonable suspicion. I'm glad you're still going to call. I think it needs to be done as hard as it may be.
Student out sick would worry me. Hopefully a coincidence.
From what you've shared and based on similar experiences I've had with a few students, if I was in the same situation, CPS would want me to speak with the child to get more information to include in the report, which I hate since it's their job to investigate.
I'm not sure what other states' laws are, but as I emphasize to our teachers in the mandated reporter training every year, admin and other supervisors cannot stop you from filing a report (according to CA law).
As mandated reporters it is not our job to investigate (and risk tainting the situation). Investigation is the job of CPS. Sounds like the principal needs that reminder.
When there is only one adult in the group. Glad that you stood up and did the right thing, SnowyJ. Reminds me of those videos where people are being assaulted and those passing by just turn their heads and keep walking.
In my state, you could still be held liable for not reporting if there are any truths in his stories - even though you have reported your concerns to your higher ups. You may want to check the laws in your state. I think you're right to be rethinking your plan.
In my state, you could still be held liable for not reporting if there are any truths in his stories - even though you have reported your concerns to your higher ups. You may want to check the laws in your state. I think you're right to be rethinking your plan.
Yep, same in AR, mandated reporter and doesn't matter if admin wants it reported or not. I have to report anything that seems hinky to me. They are supposed to do the same. Shame on them and the counselor! We are lucky here, we have a great guy here that the kids feel very comfortable with. He is not afraid to ask the hard questions and make home visits. Same with our administrators!
Specializes in School Nurse. Having conversations with littles..
Wow. What a difficult spot. My gut would tell me to make that call. I don't know the laws in your state. But, in Missouri, the law was changed to make the actual person responsible for making the Hotline call. Simply passing it along up the chain of command is no longer allowed.
I don't know if any of you use one, but I made up a form that I complete prior to making the call. It pretty much includes all the questions that are asked. Many of the staff members in my schools use it, and are very appreciative of it.
Just recently, one of my admins. was told what sounded like a big whopper of a story. The admin wanted me to talk to the student and see if I got the same story. I told her that I would be happy to, but I told her that I am most likely going to make the Hotline call. I also told her that if she even suspects that there is truth the what seems like a whopper of a story to her, to just go ahead and make the call. This would save the trauma from the student having to re-tell the experience to another adult. Admin. went ahead and made the call. A few weeks later an arrest was made of the perp.
I truly believe we are given "gut" feelings for a reason, and rarely are they wrong.
I am glad that this student has a person like you as an advocate. Good luck with this. Hoping for a good response from CPS. I know that working with them can sometimes be frustrating
bebbercorn
455 Posts
OP, sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, I've had to contact CPS more than I'd like. If they feel they can act on your information, they will. I've sometimes called and they've said they couldn't do much about a situation, but more often than not they send someone to check on things. As another poster said, you are mandated to report. Let your mind rest easy... if you can't stop thinking about it, you should probably call. The principal won't be able to prove you were the one that did it.