New nurse: I get no respect

[Nurse326]

Hi all.

I recently started as a new grad in the ED, and as I've already expected and heard prior to going into that hospital-- there will be some nurse bullying and sure enough, there is.

I've been there for about a month now and I'm still precepting. So far I haven't had too many issues with the RN staff. I know there's a lot of cattyness and complaints about new grads but I've just ignored them. Aside from the RN staff, I feel like I'm getting most of the attitude from the ED techs. On several occasions, I felt like I was being pushed around because I'm so new.

I have always made an effort to be nice and say hello to anyone I'm around but I've been consistently ignored and treated as if I'm not there. On several occasions when I was watching a trauma come in, the techs would tell me to get this and that for them in a dismissive tone and not talk to me after that. I really don't mind getting equipment and helping out, but I felt like they were treating me as if I was beneath them. In that situation, I didn't feel like I had the choice to refuse or stand up for myself because I was just standing there observing.

On another occasion when I was giving an IV medication, the MD corrected me about something, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ED techs shaking their heads at each other and rolling their eyes. I could go on about other micro-aggressions, but most of it is going out of their way to ignore me and excluding me (ie, updating my preceptor on my patient's status even though I was assuming most of the care and I was right there, and still refusing to talk to me).

I feel like the obvious answer to this situation is to talk it out with them, but I feel like snapping back is also something I need to do for myself. I don't want to use the "I'm the RN and you're the tech and you need to respect me" argument because I feel like they should treat me with respect regardless of the position I'm in.

It's hard enough learning as a new grad in the ED. It's even harder when people around you are beating you down.

*Sigh* Has anyone had experience with this? How did you deal with it?

[itsybitsy]

There really is a significant difference in,

"Go get me all of my supplies!" (No respect and a rude and demanding demeanor)

and

"Can you get me my supplies?" (Respectfully asked and a polite way to address your needs)

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

While there isn't an excuse for Techs, RNs, LPNs, or Providers for that matter to be rude or dismissive, new nurses have to understand something. Most Techs have been in their position for quite some time. There is a lot that a new nurse can learn from many Techs. The attitude of "I'm the RN and you're the Tech so listen to me" won't go far to someone who is still very new. Take your time and let them feel you out. In the ER you have to trust who you are working with, it takes time to build trust.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

This is not a statement on the discomfort level of the OP's situation one way or the other, but does anyone else out there hate the word "microaggression"?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

This is not a statement on the discomfort level of the OP's situation one way or the other, but does anyone else out there hate the word "microaggression"?

I think the OP may have used that word to describe a layer of perceived passive aggressiveness from the techs with whom she works.

[Emergent, RN]

As a new grad in the ED, your role when a trauma rolls in will not be very central. You probably have that deer in the headights look. I know it took me a long time to feel comfortable and know what my role was when a lot of people were in the room, and I came to ED as an experienced nurse.

You just aren't going to gain instant acceptance. Gradually you'll figure things out. Meanwhile, the techs are in their element, know how things go, and sometimes they get bossy.

You SHOULD have ONE preceptor, however!

[OCNRN63, RN]

When a trauma comes in, you need to be in the thick of it, not fetching things for the techs; you are not their personal assistant. Volunteer to do what you know how to do in a trauma, like CPR. There's so much you can learn from being in the room doing simple tasks. Your job is to learn how to be an ED RN, not be there to be taken advantage of by mean-spirited techs.

I agree with the suggestion of seeking out an experienced nurse who might be sympathetic to your plight of having no preceptor. Your employer should have done this for you, but it sounds like the only way you're going to get a preceptor is by looking for one yourself. Are there some doctors who are easy to work with? Pick their brains when it's not busy.

If you can start to establish a few relationships bit by bit, eventually those nasty techs aren't going to be as emboldened to pick on you.

Good luck!

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

IMO, this is not the plight of a new grad but anyone "new". I have been in this position more than a couple of times just being new at the job or not well liked because I DID stick up for myself/got assertive. You are going to have to continue on (or not) and see how you fit in, IMO. Most likely, it is because you are new. There is a lot of, "We don't like outsiders," or "How long do you think this one will last?" attitudes, unfortunately. I have worked places where you would not even dare ask a tech to get your supplies unless it was life or death because they feel you can get them yourself and they are not your slave. After all, "They have things to do, too!" You never know what you are going to get!

[AlwaysLearning247, BSN]

It can be tough starting a new job because its almost as if you're placed on a pedestal to "prove" yourself to everyone. I have been there, so I do understand what you're going through. I would ignore the ones who are knocking you down and focus on giving your patients good treatment. Show them you have confidence and delegate as necessary. It's hard when you're new because some aides will take charge and order you around and tell you to get this and that (as you have stated) but beat them to it. Confidence comes with time and I found that the same thing you're facing was my struggle at first as well. I was an aide before becoming a nurse so it was hard for me to delegate, and the outcome was not getting respect. Good luck!

[Nurse326]

The preceptor issue is definitely something I am working on with management. There's someone I want to work with who is amazing; we just have to work out scheduling conflicts. As the rest of you have said, I agree that having one preceptor is what will make this orientation process so much better.

As for my use of the word "microaggression", "passive aggressive" is probably a better word. It slipped my mind initially.

[Krzysztof]

First, you're in a hypersensitive state. This is not a put-down. It's understandable, especially after feeling you've been wronged by more than one coworker. Just take a step back and try to temper your processing of future interactions to be sure you're not misinterpreting.

OK, now... remember that no person in that ED -- not the physicians, the nurses, the techs, environmental services staff, etc. -- began their career as an expert. None of them. Just as in any other workplace, you'll find some who'll remember that, and others who won't. It's likely that each individual's behavior reflects this in some way. You'll get past all of this before you know it, especially as you all grow more familiar with one another. In the meantime, be sure to write these feelings down in a journal so when the time comes that you're in a teaching or management role, you can look back and verify that you too felt like an incompetent interloper.

Having said that, I disagree with some of the other posters here. While respect is indeed earned (in many ways aside from skill level), rudeness, condescension, and any kind of "that's how it goes for a newbie" hazing crap is nonsense. This isn't a frat or sorority, and you're not a pledge. You've already been chosen to work there. You're in. Sure, you're on your 90 day starting period or whatever they're calling it, but you've still been selected from a pool of many others. My point? You should be treated as a professional and a person. I've worked with some of the most bizarre people on earth, but I've always treated them as respectfully as possible. That's how I was raised, and that's what's in my character. It goes against the grain for me to be anything other than a teacher/helper when the opportunity presents itself. Not everyone feels and acts this way. We can only hope that the unpleasant and/or unhelpful coworkers are outnumbered by those of an opposite nature.

The alternative to all of this is that you work with a bunch of hilarious people who are busting your chops and you just don't know it yet.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

No nurse willing to take you on is a big red flag. Ignoring the negative attitudes is NOT sufficient advice from management.

You cannot "do your best" without teamwork.. and a preceptor to guide you. You have been set up for failure. In the meantime.. practice the "look" with the techs. " I am new here.. you know I need your help... are you going to help me or not?

I wish you a lot of luck... you are going to need it.

It may not be a case of no nurse willing to take her on. It could be that all of the preceptors already had orientees, but the OP was too good of a job candidate to pass up so they hired her anyway planning to get her a permanent preceptor as soon as someone hired before her was off orientation. Or the preceptor they had planned for her was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had to take time off. (I will forever regret that this happened to an orientee of mine. I felt as though I had abandoned her.) Or the preceptor they were planning for her had an orientee whose orientation was extended through no fault of the preceptor. Someone was pregnant and went into labor 12 weeks early so they don't have a preceptor. The preceptor just got promoted. It's not always a red flag.

As for management's advice to ignore negative attitudes . . . what do you think would be better advice? It sounds like the negative attitudes are coming from the techs. Before I moved to the east coast, I would not have understood that advice but where I am now, the "attitude" coming from techs cannot be easily fixed. That's a whole another post. I don't know where the OP is from, but perhaps things are different in California.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

This is not a statement on the discomfort level of the OP's situation one way or the other, but does anyone else out there hate the word "microaggression"?

YES! !