New nurse: I get no respect

[Nurse326]

Hi all.

I recently started as a new grad in the ED, and as I've already expected and heard prior to going into that hospital-- there will be some nurse bullying and sure enough, there is.

I've been there for about a month now and I'm still precepting. So far I haven't had too many issues with the RN staff. I know there's a lot of cattyness and complaints about new grads but I've just ignored them. Aside from the RN staff, I feel like I'm getting most of the attitude from the ED techs. On several occasions, I felt like I was being pushed around because I'm so new.

I have always made an effort to be nice and say hello to anyone I'm around but I've been consistently ignored and treated as if I'm not there. On several occasions when I was watching a trauma come in, the techs would tell me to get this and that for them in a dismissive tone and not talk to me after that. I really don't mind getting equipment and helping out, but I felt like they were treating me as if I was beneath them. In that situation, I didn't feel like I had the choice to refuse or stand up for myself because I was just standing there observing.

On another occasion when I was giving an IV medication, the MD corrected me about something, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ED techs shaking their heads at each other and rolling their eyes. I could go on about other micro-aggressions, but most of it is going out of their way to ignore me and excluding me (ie, updating my preceptor on my patient's status even though I was assuming most of the care and I was right there, and still refusing to talk to me).

I feel like the obvious answer to this situation is to talk it out with them, but I feel like snapping back is also something I need to do for myself. I don't want to use the "I'm the RN and you're the tech and you need to respect me" argument because I feel like they should treat me with respect regardless of the position I'm in.

It's hard enough learning as a new grad in the ED. It's even harder when people around you are beating you down.

*Sigh* Has anyone had experience with this? How did you deal with it?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I think the OP may have used that word to describe a layer of perceived passive aggressiveness from the techs with whom she works.

While that is true, I agree with jedrnurse. The other interesting word here is "perceived". It is possible that the OP just needs to grow a thicker skin. I wasn't there, don't know the OP or the techs and didn't witness any of the interactions. But it's possible that part of the problem is an overly sensitive, anxious new grad and the techs are just being techs in the culture in which they're employed.

[Zyprexa_Ho]

Everyone deserves a baseline amount of respect. It's clear you're not even getting that. If I don't know someone I'm not going to be mean to them just because they haven't "earned" my respect. It's more complicated than that.

I start out with a baseline of common sense respect. People can get more than that by earning it. People can get less by giving me reasons to not respect them.

[krystalized58]

I work in the emergency dept and have seen situations such as this arise often. It is not uncommon for the techs in these positions to have quite a few years of experience under their belt. It is also not uncommon for this to give them what we call at my facility "techitis". This inflammatory response results in the tech lashing out at new employees who are considered "over" them. I don't like to use the term "over" anyone but brass tax it is the truth. They function under your license just like you are under the mid levels who are under the doctor. I believe this response to occur as a direct result of the tech feeling a lack of respect and also a little threatened. I can tell you that this absolutely happened to me. I found that two things worked best for me. First of all I started as a tech and I know how difficult tech work can be. Therefore, I pulled the "ring leader" of the techitis movement aside and thanked them. Thanked them for their hard work and for helping me to help patients. I told this tech what I had noticed to be their strong point which was their knowledge about patient care and protocols. I told her that if she was interested in watching any procedures I perform I would be happy to have her sit in. I felt this acknowledged her hard work and subtly asserted myself as the lead in patient care. It worked out well and, through my friendship, this tech is now in nursing school realizing just how hard I had to work to get this RN title. With another tech that was creating a problem I earned their respect through my performance. I helped them when they needed help. Never dumped on them because I did not want to wipe a bottom. And I know my ****. I think the main thing that new nurses suffer from that makes them the target for techitis and other inflammatory responses is LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Be Confident. This rest will come.

[Nurse326]

While that is true, I agree with jedrnurse. The other interesting word here is "perceived". It is possible that the OP just needs to grow a thicker skin. I wasn't there, don't know the OP or the techs and didn't witness any of the interactions. But it's possible that part of the problem is an overly sensitive, anxious new grad and the techs are just being techs in the culture in which they're employed.

Like another poster said, I do believe everyone deserves a baseline amount of respect. Thick skin or not, I don't think it ever helps anyone when someone shakes their head and roll their eyes at you because you don't know something. I'm not asking to be coddled, I just ask that nobody be rude to me.

Prior to nursing, I've worked on an ambulance for several years where hazing and bullying was quite common (unfortunately) so I feel like my skin has thickened over the years. I've just never been in a situation where someone who worked (for lack of a better word) "under" me be rude to me simply because I am new. I totally respect when someone is simply being no-nonsense and wants to get things done. I am not okay with someone treating me like I am beneath them.

[NOADLS]

Basic respect should be a given.

This is nursing; the exception to the rule.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

You can turn this around, but it will require you to change. I agree with the concept that respect is earned. However, I think it is being misapplied in many of the above posts. These techs are not earning your respect. You have given them unearned respect. When you give people unearned respect, they respond by walking all over you and generally acting like jackholes. When they are worthy of your respect they behave according to the thing you respect them for, like kindness, intelligence, and so on.

I advise you to do the following:

Actively give the techs direction. You tell them what to do. If you don't know how to do that, learn. If one of them refuses to do what you told them to, report it to their supervisor with no emotion.

If a tech gives report to your preceptor instead of you, firmly tell her that she is to report on your patients to you. If she does it a second time, report her to her supervisor.

Separate your problems with techs into attitude and behavior. For behavior problems, tell them what you expect from them without asking, chastising or apologizing and simply report them if they do not comply. For example (and I have no idea what a tech does in the ER) Barbara, please get a set of vital signs on bed 5 and check BG on bed 3 and 1.

For attitude problems: like eye rolling, dismissive tone, etc choose blissful ignorance, a wink, a sinister smile or anything else that allows you to maintain confidence while shining a light on their pettiness. It should be quick and nonverbal.

This will stop the behavior quickly.

Good luck.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

It may not be a case of no nurse willing to take her on. It could be that all of the preceptors already had orientees, but the OP was too good of a job candidate to pass up so they hired her anyway planning to get her a permanent preceptor as soon as someone hired before her was off orientation. Or the preceptor they had planned for her was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had to take time off. (I will forever regret that this happened to an orientee of mine. I felt as though I had abandoned her.) Or the preceptor they were planning for her had an orientee whose orientation was extended through no fault of the preceptor. Someone was pregnant and went into labor 12 weeks early so they don't have a preceptor. The preceptor just got promoted. It's not always a red flag.

As for management's advice to ignore negative attitudes . . . what do you think would be better advice? It sounds like the negative attitudes are coming from the techs. Before I moved to the east coast, I would not have understood that advice but where I am now, the "attitude" coming from techs cannot be easily fixed. That's a whole another post. I don't know where the OP is from, but perhaps things are different in California.

Interesting that my advice to the OP is so thoroughly analyzed. I stand by my original advice. It does not matter WHAT is going with the available preceptors. Management need to form a plan of action to assure adequate preceptorship .. in order for a new nurse to SUCCEED.

You indicate you " would not have understood that advice" to ignore negative attitudes, neither can OP. What I think is better advice is.. provide OP with the mentorship she needs. OP needs GUIDANCE to handle these negative attitudes.. not a useless platitude to ignore them.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Interesting that my advice to the OP is so thoroughly analyzed. I stand by my original advice. It does not matter WHAT is going with the available preceptors. Management need to form a plan of action to assure adequate preceptorship .. in order for a new nurse to SUCCEED.

You indicate you " would not have understood that advice" to ignore negative attitudes, neither can OP. What I think is better advice is.. provide OP with the mentorship she needs. OP needs GUIDANCE to handle these negative attitudes.. not a useless platitude to ignore them.

And Invitale gave excellent advice on how to deal with negative attitudes . . . that sort of included ignoring them.

[Chicarocks123]

Most of us go through this. My problem was that I was too friendly and stuff wasn't getting done. I got a good "talking to". My DON is super supportive and basically told me if they weren't listening to send them home. Once I "put my foot down" I was hated for a good month before they adjusted to the "new" me. Thank goodness I have a fantastic and open relationship with my DON. I can come to her with anything. Now I don't have too many problems. Sometimes its just their personality. You'll learn that you can't please everyone and you have to be okay with that. It'll be completing a year with my license in Oct and I barely feel like I got enough skills to back up my assertiveness. For now keep your head down and just learn the work. The day will come when you're in charge :)

[BSN16]

Congrats on getting an ED job after graduation! I'm also new (ending my orientation this week!) And well, yeah i still don't get a lot of respect either...but really, it just comes with time. But in the mean time i try to be a kiss a** whenever i can, especially to some of the aids that have been in our unit for 20+ years. Don't dismiss the aids just because of their title. Just the other day i took my first pt down to a scan by myself with one of the aids, telling her "this is the first time i've taken somebody down by myself but thankfully you're here with me so i feel much more relieved!"

Also, where is your preceptor while all this is happening??? you need to be in there on that trauma, not running for supplies unless those supplies are meds. She needs to stick up for you. She also needs to tell them that YOU are the one who's taking care of that patient today and to give those updates to you. But there is still so much more time, best of luck :)

[marigold321]

The old adage lies true in nursing "respect must be earned".

In order to earn respect with the nurses on your team, you will need to ask a lot of questions, show respect for the answers you receive, and make sure that the most opinionated senior nurses feel like they "have you under their wing" so they can feel like they are "molding you". They won't be able to criticize a mini-me, nor will the other nurses on the team be willing to criticize the new nurse that the gran poom-bah is "training". The ER is a nasty department to start in and a nasty department for other departments to deal with. ER nurses are known for being "jacks of all trades and masters of none" - they patch people up and send them out-either back home or to other departments to fine tune illness in more detail. In my career I have watched trauma junkies turn to the ER for careers, burn out, get cranky, and then move on to another area. They usually need a couple of years in a new area to lose their false ego.

Also just a heads up, as a manager, I would mention the department concerns as a new hire/grad to your manager. Disease starts at the top-a hard headed team needs a strong leader so I hope that your department has this. If your ER doesn't have a strong leader then find another job because it won't get easier. Lots of beautiful departments to work in but ER is not a career-long dream for most.

Take care and best wishes to you. Don't write off nursing because of a bad batch of hens.

[cayenne06, MSN, CNM]

Respect is EARNED.

No. Respect is a given. This isn't an issue of a new grad who is too big for her britches; it's just the same old story of workplace hostility.

While you should of course do your best to foster a positive relationship with the rest of the staff, this is definitely a management issue. And the preceptor thing is a huge red flag.