New nurse: I get no respect

[Nurse326]

Hi all.

I recently started as a new grad in the ED, and as I've already expected and heard prior to going into that hospital-- there will be some nurse bullying and sure enough, there is.

I've been there for about a month now and I'm still precepting. So far I haven't had too many issues with the RN staff. I know there's a lot of cattyness and complaints about new grads but I've just ignored them. Aside from the RN staff, I feel like I'm getting most of the attitude from the ED techs. On several occasions, I felt like I was being pushed around because I'm so new.

I have always made an effort to be nice and say hello to anyone I'm around but I've been consistently ignored and treated as if I'm not there. On several occasions when I was watching a trauma come in, the techs would tell me to get this and that for them in a dismissive tone and not talk to me after that. I really don't mind getting equipment and helping out, but I felt like they were treating me as if I was beneath them. In that situation, I didn't feel like I had the choice to refuse or stand up for myself because I was just standing there observing.

On another occasion when I was giving an IV medication, the MD corrected me about something, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ED techs shaking their heads at each other and rolling their eyes. I could go on about other micro-aggressions, but most of it is going out of their way to ignore me and excluding me (ie, updating my preceptor on my patient's status even though I was assuming most of the care and I was right there, and still refusing to talk to me).

I feel like the obvious answer to this situation is to talk it out with them, but I feel like snapping back is also something I need to do for myself. I don't want to use the "I'm the RN and you're the tech and you need to respect me" argument because I feel like they should treat me with respect regardless of the position I'm in.

It's hard enough learning as a new grad in the ED. It's even harder when people around you are beating you down.

*Sigh* Has anyone had experience with this? How did you deal with it?

[Sour Lemon]

That's a tough position to be in. As a new nurse, I dealt with it by keeping my head down until I had the skill level and confidence to be convincingly assertive. The only action I took before then was to avoid being overly friendly to people who didn't return the favor ...not mean, not rude, just not friendly, either.

This is their 15 minutes to feel superior. Avoid watching the clock and it will be over before you know it.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Yes, new nurses get no respect.. that comes with time and proving yourself. The techs especially are testing you. They feel they run the show and are jealous of your licensure and salary.

You are in your first month of orientation, you should be having weekly evaluations where your concerns and your preceptors concerns are evaluated.

Definitely no snapping allowed or " talking it out with them". Use the orientation process to address this issue.

What feedback have you received from management and your preceptor so far?

[Nurse326]

@beenthere,donethat , I agree. Which is why I don't plan on talking it out just yet. I haven't received any formal feedback from my preceptors because management haven't found me a permanent preceptor yet (which is another issue I won't talk about now).

As for management, they are well aware of nurse bullying on the unit and have been very understanding and supportive about those issues. Management, as well as the nicer nurses on the unit, have told me to ignore the negative attitudes and to just do my best, which I think is what I'll do.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

No nurse willing to take you on is a big red flag. Ignoring the negative attitudes is NOT sufficient advice from management.

You cannot "do your best" without teamwork.. and a preceptor to guide you. You have been set up for failure. In the meantime.. practice the "look" with the techs. " I am new here.. you know I need your help... are you going to help me or not?

I wish you a lot of luck... you are going to need it.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I feel like, even though maybe it's not the time to have a come-to-Jesus talk about the attitude, you can still practice being assertive. With your preceptor's blessing, I would address the techs when they start offering report to your preceptor instead of you, just with whatever questions or thoughts you have about the patient's care. Ignore the cattiness and eye rolling during patient care; this is your time to learn, and they have no right to interfere with it. I would even argue that is okay to tell them that their behavior is very distracting (privately, of course), although others may advise against that. I wouls be curious as to how they would explain their behavior is you asked, "I saw you rolling your eyes in there. What made you do that?" Sometimes people need to be called out, as much as you shouldn't have to do that first thing during your orientation.

I remember working with a tech who definitely did the whole dismissive, I'm-in-charge thing, having me get her supplies and literally ordering me out of the room afterward. Before long, I did eventually ask what the deal was with that. For her, it was an autonomy thing; she wanted to do her job without "interference" from me or anyone else. I wish I could say we worked out a solution, but even though we agreed, in theory, to work better as a team, in actual practice she was still very rude and condescending, despite my efforts to work with her and, eventually, address it with our manager. But at least I learned that it was a chip on her shoulder about all nurses, especially young ones, and not a problem with me specifically.

[OscarTheOwl]

You don't deserve respect because you're the RN and they're the tech, you deserve respect because you're a person, period. I have been in situations with people who have tried to make me insignificant and stupid, its really hard to ignore and gain the confidence that is so crucial in the ED.

This is a management problem, no staff should be able to get away with this type of petty behavior, one of the biggest reasons new grads leave a job is they lack support/confidence or just don't "fit in".

Try not to worry about what they think of you, or how they're behaving, that is a reflection of them, not you. If they are endangering patient safety by not helping when needed, then you definitely need to report it.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Respect is EARNED.

[NOADLS]

You are a new grad. What you are currently experiencing is expected. Pass the test of time and work for your respect.

[Fiona59]

You are a new grad. What you are currently experiencing is expected. Pass the test of time and work for your respect.

Hell has frozen over. I liked a NOADLS post

[canigraduate]

One thing is for sure, if you don't change, then your situation won't change.

You seem to be a passive person. Get assertive. Otherwise everybody will walk all over you, since you are conveniently lying down for them.

You've already blown your first impression at this place. You are going to have to change their perceptions of you, and do it quickly. Management is already taking advantage of you by not giving you a preceptor. The ED techs have scented fresh meat and are on the lookout for opportunities to bite.

Remember, nursing is a team effort. You have to join the team, otherwise you are going to be excluded because they feel like they can't trust you or your judgment.

Find someone that the majority of the unit respects and ask them to be your preceptor instead of waiting around for one to magically appear.

Don't take crap from the ED techs. If they ask you to fetch something, remind them you are not a dog.

Don't worry about being liked. Worry about getting competent. You are going to have to make that happen yourself, they are not going to do it for you.

Instead of standing by and waiting for someone to tell you to do something, get involved. Strike up conversations with more experienced nurses. Ask questions. Volunteer to do the things you know how to do. If the precepting program is terrible, come up with a plan to improve it and present it to the unit educator.

Get active. Take control of your own career. Take control of your learning. The rest will come with time.

[itsybitsy]

You are a new grad. What you are currently experiencing is expected. Pass the test of time and work for your respect.

Hell has frozen over. I liked a NOADLS post

I don't... Nobody should have to "work" for respect. Respect should be given to everyone no matter their situation. (Okay, some people don't deserve respect, but they dig their own grave for that...) There is plenty a new grad needs to work for; respect shouldn't be one of them.

Trust and pay are just two concepts a new grad should work for. Basic respect should be a given.