Hi, I'm a new grad nurse who graduated with a bachelor's in paediatric nursing in sept 19. Throughout nursing school I had my doubts whether nursing was truly for me, I completely dreaded clincials. Never had a huge interest in anatomy and physiology but enough to complete assignments. I'm extremely introverted, not particularly a people person with very high anxiety. Which meant minimal interaction and participation in seminars. So I was also very surprised to make it to graduation, though i was a motivated and keen student nurse. During my clinical rotation I received positive feedback, but as they say you can be the most competent student nurse and still struggle as a new grad.
I applied and started my first new grad job at a general busy paeds unit in Oct 19, lasted 2 months. I extended my oreintation from 3 weeks to the full 2 months i was there because i never felt confident taking on 6 patients independently. I hated it, the clinical enviroment, lack of interest in cases and working independently. The sadness took over me every single shift, even on my days off. Huge anxiety, and depressed days. Note: in my final year of nursing school i had my first stab of depression which was treated and now resolved. Missing all the red flags during nursing school.
I did change my speciality and now i'm 4 weeks into my new grad post at a level 3 NICU. Oreintation is 6 weeks, and truth is nursing is not for me. My interest in A&P is not a lot which is core part to nursing, communication is key and i'm too introverted to even talk to my co workers and patients. Non clinical roles are not possible as a new grad in my region.
I've given nursing 2 attempts now, surely this is enough for me to leave nursing now? I'm 23 and so unhappy.
I know nursing is a well paid occupation, but my mental health and well being is affected so much.
I have immense respect for nurses, and enough to know it is not for everyone. Any advice? Anyone know others in the same position. Thanks x
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
1 hour ago, lilly-may said:
It's such an unsettling position to be in, absolutely nervewracking yet you covered almost all the worries I have. Thank you!
Not all goals are meant to be fulfilled, or kept when they are. Circumstances change; new information comes to light or we just shed previous ways of thinking.
Decision-making is so much easier when we don't hang on to goals and expectations that no longer serve their purpose. I always moved where life took me, even when I wondered if I had rocks in my head. The biggest regrets I have are the times when I overrode my gut instinct.
Life is too short to be so miserable. I completely understand. I also became severely depressed during nursing school and was making myself physically, mentally, emotionally ill trying to do the job after I graduated. I ended up in the operating room, which was horrible in multiple ways, but was the kind of nursing I hated the "least", so I stuck with it. It took me 9 years but I finally figured out what I want to do instead and am back in school for that instead. If you can walk away financially, I see no reason to continue unless you want to keep a foot in the door to have for your resume while you figure out what's next.
You might like operating room. Great for extreme introverts (I am definitely one of those). One patient at a time. Your patients are asleep for the most part, and the only people you have to deal with are your surgical team, and most of them prefer less chit-chat so they all can focus. WAY less emotional labor than floor nursing. Could be worth looking into if you want to try one more specialty.
I did the same thing as you... called out and used up all my sick time. Worked as little as possible, going so far as to live as simply as possible so that I could work fewer hours. Tiny studio apartment and eating refried beans for dinner so that I would have to work even less, just the bare minimum to get by and qualify for health insurance (I live in the US, so health insurance is tied up with your job). So I feel your pain and I am here to tell you it doesn't have to be this way... you can walk away. Find a way. Your sanity is PARAMOUNT.
Nursing is a great foundation for whatever you decide to do in the future. So if you leave, don't think of it as a waste, but as a stepping-stone to whatever is next for you. Wishing you the best!
I guess I don't understand the unhappy part. Yes, the job is hard, but every job is hard, and unless you go into engineering or computer science, you're going to have to deal with people... which is what makes the job hard. The way I look at it, God created me to serve Him and his creation and I'm happiest while doing it. Yes, it can be stressful, and I dread my work days at times, especially if I had a really rough day in the week prior. But really, I need to be there to serve others, that's where I get my own energy to function, as weird as that sounds.
If that doesn't fit you or suit you, then you probably do need to move on to something else. Engineering might be a good place to start. I have a co-worker leaving to go to school to be a teacher... I'm still scratching my head as to why. She'll still have the same problems, time constraints, and stress... just add parents to the mix. I hope she'll find a way to make it work.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
7 hours ago, ClaraRedheart said:
I guess I don't understand the unhappy part.
I have a co-worker leaving to go to school to be a teacher... I'm still scratching my head as to why. She'll still have the same problems, time constraints, and stress... just add parents to the mix. I hope she'll find a way to make it work.
Anyone can be unhappy when they find themselves in a situation that just isn't working. Many people start out in professions they thought they would enjoy but find themselves hating it. I once thought OR nursing would give me a nice break from psych. Oh, God, I'd rather put pins in my eyes. I knew before I finished my clinical experience that it wasn't for me.
As far as your friend: what do you think you'll be doing Christmas morning when she's opening gifts with her own kids? And not just that. She may find teaching suits her temperament way better than nursing ever did.
To each his own. And if you don't think you've found your own yet, you have to keep looking.
I guess the answer really lies in your financial needs. My first two years of nursing I hated it SO much. Called off as much as the job would allow, cried going to work...terrible. I am 11 years in now. I only still like the 10% of my job where I actually get to deal with nice people that I can help. Most of it sucks. But I can pay my bills, support my husband and kid, and if my employer pisses me off to much I can turn in my notice at the flip of a switch and have reasonable expectations of having another well paying job within a week or two. I felt I had no choice but to keep going...I was 47K in debt with no other way to pay it off. Much less think about trying a different career. But if you have enough support to do something different; do it! I think my life would have been better if I had gone into a different field.
That just sounds like low grade misery. Life is short. Surely there is something better out there for you rather than this kind of drudgery.
On 2/15/2020 at 12:46 AM, TriciaJ said:
I second the advice to make your health a priority and then decide what to do next.
I agree. Until that is taken care of, no job will bring her pleasure, much less joy.
It sounds like you have already made your decision. Are you working with a counselor? It sounds to me like you may have imposter syndrome (which almost all of us do as a new grad) . I never recommend giving up jobs until you have done them at least 6 months to a year unless it is unsafe because there is so much fear, stress and anxiety in that first year that it can be hard to know if it's a career is a good fit or not. I find it fascinating that as an introvert you chose to work with kids because that requires and extra element of communication.... After 1-2 years you could likely get a non-direct patient care role. Good luck.
Can you try nursing informatics? Or even night shift maybe?
Lily is in the UK. Most organisations are still on paper. Also nights are usually rotational. As a manager the first thing I do with a struggling staff member is pull them off nights to weekday shifts. Yes they are busier but there is so much more support available.
get a masters in nursing informatics. desk job with no patient interaction. cool numbers and stuff if you like that---I literally think this would be a good position for you!!
you sound exactly like me, it's creepy. I'm in my second job now, and I still hate it. I've come to the conclusion that I despise the hospital. I'm planning on getting at least one consecutive year in and maybe trying to get an outpatient role or getting a business job after. I hate the hours that come with working in a hospital. I am a human, not a robot! IDK why people think hospitals are so prestigious bc imo theyre the lowest you can go
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TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
Not all goals are meant to be fulfilled, or kept when they are. Circumstances change; new information comes to light or we just shed previous ways of thinking.
Decision-making is so much easier when we don't hang on to goals and expectations that no longer serve their purpose. I always moved where life took me, even when I wondered if I had rocks in my head. The biggest regrets I have are the times when I overrode my gut instinct.