Hi, I'm a new grad nurse who graduated with a bachelor's in paediatric nursing in sept 19. Throughout nursing school I had my doubts whether nursing was truly for me, I completely dreaded clincials. Never had a huge interest in anatomy and physiology but enough to complete assignments. I'm extremely introverted, not particularly a people person with very high anxiety. Which meant minimal interaction and participation in seminars. So I was also very surprised to make it to graduation, though i was a motivated and keen student nurse. During my clinical rotation I received positive feedback, but as they say you can be the most competent student nurse and still struggle as a new grad.
I applied and started my first new grad job at a general busy paeds unit in Oct 19, lasted 2 months. I extended my oreintation from 3 weeks to the full 2 months i was there because i never felt confident taking on 6 patients independently. I hated it, the clinical enviroment, lack of interest in cases and working independently. The sadness took over me every single shift, even on my days off. Huge anxiety, and depressed days. Note: in my final year of nursing school i had my first stab of depression which was treated and now resolved. Missing all the red flags during nursing school.
I did change my speciality and now i'm 4 weeks into my new grad post at a level 3 NICU. Oreintation is 6 weeks, and truth is nursing is not for me. My interest in A&P is not a lot which is core part to nursing, communication is key and i'm too introverted to even talk to my co workers and patients. Non clinical roles are not possible as a new grad in my region.
I've given nursing 2 attempts now, surely this is enough for me to leave nursing now? I'm 23 and so unhappy.
I know nursing is a well paid occupation, but my mental health and well being is affected so much.
I have immense respect for nurses, and enough to know it is not for everyone. Any advice? Anyone know others in the same position. Thanks x
I agree, keeping your mental health should your first priority but we all know how this society is like you need a job to get around, I recommend keeping your license active until you have find a job better suited for yourself. Good luck!
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Lilly-May life is too short. It sounds like you are miserable. Any chance you can find another less distressing career choice? I am so sorry you're going through this.
I will start by saying that dreading clinical while you were in school and having high anxiety about it does not indicate that you’re a bad nurse or not cut out for it. I always dreaded clinical too and would get super nervous talking to patients sometimes. Once you’re out in the real nursing world, having good preceptors really helps. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t. Maybe so far you haven’t had any good preceptors who made you feel comfortable and held your hand at first? You need that in your first nursing role or two, or any time you switch specialties that are totally new, really. You’re also so young. I’m kind of introverted too but talking to patients and families comes easier with age I think - that being said, I STILL feel like I’m putting up a front or “faking it til I make it” when I talk to families in the NICU sometimes - I’m a nice person but I’m not as extroverted as some others are who find it easy to genuinely talk to just anyone. And there are other nurses who will tell you they feel the same way. ps: 6 week orientation in a level 3 NICU? with no previous NICU experience you really should have a solid 12 weeks - at least 8! I wouldn’t blame you for being anxious - 6 weeks isn’t usually standard for new NICU nurses - I know when I started there was soooooo much to learn and it’s overwhelming. 6 weeks would not be enough. I actually stayed on orientation a little longer than the initial plan - mainly because I was such high anxiety, maybe like you - because I went from having great day preceptors to really tough night preceptors and some I didn’t click right with. I would almost be in tears at work, I’d cry at home, I dreaded going to orientation for awhile, it was a really hard time, my anxiety was horrible and my preceptors really didn’t help. I wanted NICU so bad though. But oneday they let me go oh my own and I did okay. Being on my own I felt so much better even if I had people keeping an eye out for me and I was good about asking questions if I needed.
SO! I will say that sometimes in nursing, especially in the first year or two, and on top of that when you’re really young - there can be some rough, high anxiety starts to your career. I certainly went through a few. Most everything after that is a hiccup at worst, because you know how to handle it better. So you have to decide how much you want to pursue a certain speciality. Do you really want NICU? Not really? That’s OK!! Do you want to try something else? Does something else appeal to you? It can ride time to find your niche, heck, I’m still finding mine, it WAS NICU but for me it’s changing now as I seek to move away from the hospital scene/bedside. And guess what? I’ll be honest with you - I’m grateful I went into nursing but I went into it super young like you and I kinda wish I’d pursued something else. I don’t want to be a nurse forever. If you don’t want to be, you don’t have to be. Don’t feel like your time is wasted. There is value in everything, even an education you don’t make a career out of.
you could always be intentional about your career path if you stick with nursing though - get a few years of hospital experience and then start seeking out jobs that are away from the bedside. Many remote ones these days too. You may even be able to find one before a few years, just start applying and keep doing it as you gain experience. As an introvert you may enjoy working more on computer data or at least just phone communication vs inpatient interactions. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
you’ll figure it all out though, don’t worry! No one can tell you for sure but you will figure it out. Just remember this:
Your worth does *not* come from being a nurse, or from any other career title.
so never feel less than if you’re having a rough start to nursing, or if you decide to leave it all behind.
sorry so long! I feel for you! You’ll be okay though. ? things work out.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
2 hours ago, saltymermaid said:
I will start by saying that dreading clinical while you were in school and having high anxiety about it does not indicate that you’re a bad nurse or not cut out for it. I always dreaded clinical too and would get super nervous talking to patients sometimes. Once you’re out in the real nursing world, having good preceptors really helps. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t. Maybe so far you haven’t had any good preceptors who made you feel comfortable and held your hand at first? You need that in your first nursing role or two, or any time you switch specialties that are totally new, really. You’re also so young. I’m kind of introverted too but talking to patients and families comes easier with age I think - that being said, I STILL feel like I’m putting up a front or “faking it til I make it” when I talk to families in the NICU sometimes - I’m a nice person but I’m not as extroverted as some others are who find it easy to genuinely talk to just anyone. And there are other nurses who will tell you they feel the same way. ps: 6 week orientation in a level 3 NICU? with no previous NICU experience you really should have a solid 12 weeks - at least 8! I wouldn’t blame you for being anxious - 6 weeks isn’t usually standard for new NICU nurses - I know when I started there was soooooo much to learn and it’s overwhelming. 6 weeks would not be enough. I actually stayed on orientation a little longer than the initial plan - mainly because I was such high anxiety, maybe like you - because I went from having great day preceptors to really tough night preceptors and some I didn’t click right with. I would almost be in tears at work, I’d cry at home, I dreaded going to orientation for awhile, it was a really hard time, my anxiety was horrible and my preceptors really didn’t help. I wanted NICU so bad though. But oneday they let me go oh my own and I did okay. Being on my own I felt so much better even if I had people keeping an eye out for me and I was good about asking questions if I needed.
SO! I will say that sometimes in nursing, especially in the first year or two, and on top of that when you’re really young - there can be some rough, high anxiety starts to your career. I certainly went through a few. Most everything after that is a hiccup at worst, because you know how to handle it better. So you have to decide how much you want to pursue a certain speciality. Do you really want NICU? Not really? That’s OK!! Do you want to try something else? Does something else appeal to you? It can ride time to find your niche, heck, I’m still finding mine, it WAS NICU but for me it’s changing now as I seek to move away from the hospital scene/bedside. And guess what? I’ll be honest with you - I’m grateful I went into nursing but I went into it super young like you and I kinda wish I’d pursued something else. I don’t want to be a nurse forever. If you don’t want to be, you don’t have to be. Don’t feel like your time is wasted. There is value in everything, even an education you don’t make a career out of.
you could always be intentional about your career path if you stick with nursing though - get a few years of hospital experience and then start seeking out jobs that are away from the bedside. Many remote ones these days too. You may even be able to find one before a few years, just start applying and keep doing it as you gain experience. As an introvert you may enjoy working more on computer data or at least just phone communication vs inpatient interactions. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
you’ll figure it all out though, don’t worry! No one can tell you for sure but you will figure it out. Just remember this:
Your worth does *not* come from being a nurse, or from any other career title.
so never feel less than if you’re having a rough start to nursing, or if you decide to leave it all behind.
sorry so long! I feel for you! You’ll be okay though. ? things work out.
There are lots of entry level clinical trials work through pharmaceutical companies and Contract Research Organizations. I had several years of clinical research experience and have traveled to UK/Ireland on business and know this is true. You have a clinical background which is very useful. These are corporate Monday to Friday jobs with no patient care. Look for Data Management, drug safety, and clinical research assistant/associate positions. Pays way more than Nursing.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I think it’s definitely possible you’re having another episode of depression. And I say that as someone who is very familiar with depressive episodes. I’m sure it wasn’t easy treating sick kids or now seeing very sick babies hooked up to machines or that don’t make it. But the amazing thing about the nursing field is that there are a TON of options! You don’t want to work in a hospital or want to develop a more personal relationship with patients? Try home health. You never want to see patients in person? Apply at an insurance company. I know dealing with peds and the families are incredibly difficult, so maybe try another population. There are seriously an endless number of nursing jobs that can fit exactly what you’re looking for.
I can relate to you, being introverted with anxiety and questioning whether I actually want to be a nurse. I have a question. What is your advice for interviewing? I'm afraid my introversion and some shyness will make me look bad and lack of enthusiasm. I cant stop second-guessing myself and talking myself out of applying to jobs for fear of the interviews.
Maybe you could go back to school for something that truly interests you or that won't require as much social interaction with people but in the meantime you could use your nursing license to work per diem or single shifts whenever you need to, to supplement your education. You could always pick up shifts in PACU which are much less stressful.
Roxi394
20 Posts
I agree, keeping your mental health should your first priority but we all know how this society is like you need a job to get around, I recommend keeping your license active until you have find a job better suited for yourself. Good luck!