Negativity

lavenderskies, BSN · Aug 8, 2016

I work really hard to be positive. It's WORK and I'm not always successful. Over time it gets easier....more habitual. For me the trick is the second I start thinking a negative I spin a positive. If it's not possible to spin it into a positive then I look for something else to be positive about. It really is a skill and it's easy to get sidetracked, or backslide.

quazar · Aug 8, 2016

I work really hard to be positive. It's WORK and I'm not always successful. Over time it gets easier....more habitual. For me the trick is the second I start thinking a negative I spin a positive. If it's not possible to spin it into a positive then I look for something else to be positive about. It really is a skill and it's easy to get sidetracked, or backslide.

Yep. You have to make a conscious, concerted effort to not do it at first. After a while, though, you'll get there, and it will be second nature. :)

roser13, ASN, RN · Aug 8, 2016

Really, there is no magic button to push. It's all up to you. The phrase "look before you leap" comes to mind. Think before you speak. You are the only one who can control your instinct to be negative.

Try some tools that smokers use. Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you are tempted to make a negative comment, snap the rubber band. Visualize positive images, your happy place, and force yourself to go there when you're in a negative or gossipy conversation. Force yourself to imagine how much happier you yourself might be as a positive person.

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Aug 8, 2016

I read something recently that said the first thought you have is what you've been conditioned to think, while your second thought is what you yourself find to be true. (I'm looking at you for that one, Pinterest.) I find that helpful because I think it's the culture of more and more workplaces to have kind of a bad attitude, and it's hard not to go along with it. I agree with PPs that catching yourself in the act and finding something to be at peace with is a good way to counteract your own negativity. As for gossip, picking sides at work, etc., I think you can probably recognize enough negative consequences to that to remember to avoid it. In starting a new job, you're in a good spot to avoid drama all together. You're there to work and learn, and if you're friendly with people, so much the better. But no need to get caught up in everything that goes on there.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Aug 9, 2016

Your brain knows how to do stuff. It doesn't know how to NOT do stuff. So, don't worry about NOT gossiping about people. Instead focus on noticing the good in others. Focus on including people, being kind, being considerate or whatever you choose, that is positive to you.

That is how you do it!

Namaste

Emergent, RN · Aug 9, 2016

Gratitude is key. Be appreciative.

TriciaJ, RN · Aug 9, 2016

Gossip and negativity are really just forms of venting. "A problem shared is a problem halved" is an old saying and explains why we share negative thoughts and experiences with others. Modern day nursing is filled with negative experiences; you just get past one crappy experience and another comes on its heels. Negativity just starts to become a habit.

Here's where your dream job comes in: be thankful on a daily basis for the things that make it a dream job. Be grateful for all the crappy things you don't have to deal with anymore. If something negative does happen, remind yourself that you've dealt with worse and you're glad to be where you are.

Good luck!

Williss2 · Aug 9, 2016

The first thing is to recognize a problem in order to make changes. So congrats on that and even wanting to take steps to change. There are a lot of people, not just in nursing, who display those same negative characteristics and think nothing of it. Maybe something you can try also is to be empathetic. Some of those behaviors really hurt others feelings even though that may not be the intent. When someone is hurt, they may not always let on, especially in the work setting.

djh123 · Aug 9, 2016

Only you can change your behavior ... I don't see how any advice from any of us can help. Your question reminds me of years ago when a former co-worker who was about to sell his truck, and I said I might be interested, and he shook his head and said 'oh, I'm so hard on vehicles' (like 'no, you don't want it because I half-trashed it'). I didn't say it out loud, but I thought 'Uh, if you realize that, you could change it'. And then there's the cousin who told me one of his faults was never sending birthday or other significant cards. Same thing - hey, you're telling me this, why don't you put 'em on your calendar? :^)

middleagednurse · Aug 9, 2016

Don't hang out with negative people.

EaglesWings21, ASN, RN · Aug 9, 2016

Self control. If my coworkers are talking about someone I try to not join in or I say something nice about the person. If I overhear some juicy gossip I try to keep it to myself. Find other things to talk about. Also if someone is constantly putting down others I try not to tell them too much because I know my words will be twisted into something I didn't say. I think everyone is guilt of gossiping but it does come down to being able to say I am not going to do this today.