nerdynurse22

I honestly do not understand what I truly did. Yes, I made a few errors (as we are all human) and none of them had any negative effect on the patient and the errors were not repeated! This is having a big emotional, physical, psychological effect on me. It is making me feel so depressed, cannot sleep, muscle tension, headaches, stomach issues and more. This situation will make even the smartest and most competent nurse make mistakes. Very frustrated. Thank you all for your replies and comments.

So I have been having a hard time at work, I made one error and had a few meeting (no harm to patient) and went over the whole situation. I learned my lesson and what to do, not do etc. I was also put on a PIP. My manager came to me and said how they are planning on giving me a tough assignment and have a charge sit and observe the entire shift to see me on action and my critical thinking skills. I am newer to my unit with just over a year experience. What are your thoughts on this? I feel very anxious and conflicted by this. Is there a positive way to look at this?

Wow, thank you for your post and insight. It sounds VERY similar. I know my depression is a huge part of it. I used to keep it all bottled up, but I have been 100% honest with my husband, which feels good. I wish I could be more open with others, sad how we feel like depression is something to be ashamed of but yet we treat so many health issues and not blame the person. I have another appointment with my doctor in 3 weeks. So I will be honest. I am also switching off a med I am on (not for depression but fibromalgia and now found not to be good) and tapering off. So that maybe also a part. I hope someday to feel better or even okay. Thank you again for your insight and hope.

@brownbook, it wouldn't let me quote your reply. I tried and tried. Thank you for your reply and info. I am curious how did you overcome the introvert part?

Thank you for your reply and insight. I do feel like I don't fit in, not smart enough, not likeable from the patients or families etc. I do say hi, ask if they need anything or help, ask about them and more. I sometimes feel like I am fake or putting a mask on. I have always dealt with depression, poor self esteem and zero confidence. I am seeing my MD and in meds amd have tried therapy and employee assistance. I don't want to explain the actions of managment (as it would identify myself.) It is bullying from 2 particular people. Thry are older and set in their ways. Others have acknowledged the bullying too. I have tried to reach out and find groups and meet people nuta big introvert. I also feel ackward and uncomfortable. I have always felt this awkward too. Not sure if nursing is even for me.

I am going to try to make this short and to the point. I started a new job at my dream hospital over a year ago. The unit is new to me and to be honest, I am not sure it is for me. I have a manager and charge nurse who are in cohouts and has its out for me. It is completely bullying behaviors. I try to focus on my job and ths patients but still get the treatment. I feel that I dont fit in and the other nurses don't like me. I am not sure what I did. I LOVE the hospital and thought about a transfer but not sure what department. I work in a stressful oncology icu unit and feel drawn to L&D as they are 'healthier'. Not sure what to do. I also moved away from family and friends and feel so alone, depressed snd worthless. I also do not know who I can trust to bring up the bullying from management. Please help.

32 and wanting to go back to school.....heck yes. You are NEVER to old. In our program we had a few in their 50's. I started the core program when I was 30. I personally feel it is better as you are older, more mature and know what you want so you will study and do whatever is needed to pass/learn/grow and be the best nurse. Go for it!!

Curious what some thoughts and advice you lovely nurses have. I am an experienced RN (5+ years) and just started in a new unit and hospital. It is a lot to learn and grow. I have been here for 6 months and about 4 months solo. I would say overall it was good. I would have some busy shifts but loved it. However, the last few weeks it has been hell!! We are short staffed and taking more patients then normal, as if I wasnt busy already I am having difficulties with parents. Then 2 different parents were just down right rude and said the meanest things to me to my face. One said that I am the worst nurse ever because she couldnt sleep previous because I had to keep coming in, then said we ruined her day and birthday celebration because we called with an update, she said that she dreaded coming in to see me and more. The other parent questioned my skills saying that I should know that oral temp on her kid is not accurate and only take it axilliary. She said I didnt know how to care for her and cannot even take a temperature!! She said more items to me too. I have dreaded going into work. It also appears my assignment is the worst. I dont want to complain because I know we all need to share the load but now I am second guessing my change and wanting to change departments. I feel so incompetent and a bad person!!!! Lost in tears.

I am curious what others do. I work overnights 3 days a week and flip my schedule when I am not working. When do other fit in their workouts? I shower before I go to bed and so feel that working out before work is not really an option. I get really warm fast and hate to blow dry my hair.

I've noticed a bad trait about myself and I want to know how I can overcome this. How can I stop being negative, speak negative of my previous jobs, speak negative about coworkers or pass judgement. I feel like I am the type who gossips but I know that it is so negative and makes me appear bad. I do not want to be that type or person. I just got my DREAM nursing job and I want to start and be the best. I just do not know how to stop this behavior. So I am curious how others deal about this. I know that it would be best to just not do it but I just cannot seem to help it. I just speak and then realize later that I should not have shared that. Thank you in advance.

The route I took was all my prerequisites at a community college and got my Associate of Arts and that took me 2 years. Then I took my Associate of Science RN which took me an additional 2 years. I started working as a RN right away. Then while I was working I took the ADN-BSN bridge program. Since I already had my AA I only needed to take 1 extra course and was able to complete my BSN (and PHN) in 18 months. I went to a private university and able to save a lot of money. Granted taking this route took more time but saved a ton of money. I would suggest taking your CNA and getting a job with that. That helps give you experience and able to work in the field. I would avoid taking the LVN/LPN route. Many hospitals are not hiring and it will take you longer. Since you want to work right away I would highly suggest not taking that route. I would also suggest not going to the programs (National Academy etc) or the programs like that as the credits do not transfer. Make sure that the school you pick is national accredited and counts towards the transfer.

I said discrimination if they took the offer back d/t my health condition or the (prescribed) medications I take.

THANK YOU. It is so refreshing to hear your story and situation. I was honest about the medication down and he asked me to bring in the bottles. I did not say the fibro but said it was d/t car accident. This is my dream job and position and I did not want to ruin it for any reason! Thank you!

How does one know what is considered as "safety sensitive" and which medications are prohibited even with a prescription?

I am asking all my fellow nurses on their thoughts are on this. I have chronic pain, several car accidents and take a few medications but they have no adverse effect on me. I currently take Tramadol 2 tabs 3 times a day (I've been taking this for over 5 years now and have zero drowsiness with them) for Fibromalgia. I also take 1 tab Flexeril before bed. I avoid taking the medications while I am working and know my body and will not work under the influence or hinder my performance or safety. I am beginning a new position as RN and had to complete the physical and urine drug test. They asked for all my medications and I was honest with him. He was asking a lot of questions about the pain, why I take the medications and the effects they have on me. He wants me to bring in the label itself to show the prescription part. I have been upfront and honest about it all but now question if they can use this against me and not hire me? I have true legitimate prescription and reason for taking it. Wouldn't it be discrimination if they don't hire me? Can they legally not hire me? Or am I getting worried about nothing?? Thank you in advance for your help and time.