I've noticed a bad trait about myself and I want to know how I can overcome this. How can I stop being negative, speak negative of my previous jobs, speak negative about coworkers or pass judgement. I feel like I am the type who gossips but I know that it is so negative and makes me appear bad. I do not want to be that type or person.
I just got my DREAM nursing job and I want to start and be the best. I just do not know how to stop this behavior. So I am curious how others deal about this. I know that it would be best to just not do it but I just cannot seem to help it. I just speak and then realize later that I should not have shared that.
Really, there is no magic button to push. It's all up to you. The phrase "look before you leap" comes to mind. Think before you speak. You are the only one who can control your instinct to be negative.
Try some tools that smokers use. Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you are tempted to make a negative comment, snap the rubber band. Visualize positive images, your happy place, and force yourself to go there when you're in a negative or gossipy conversation. Force yourself to imagine how much happier you yourself might be as a positive person.
I have to agree with this one. The key is to train yourself to not respond to something right away. When you do that, you give yourself time to think about what to say. That's assuming that anything needs to be said at all. Sometimes it's best to just keep quiet.
I just left one really toxic place. I made a personal commitment not to engage in gossip or nasty talk. I just slide away. I try to find something positive to say or just zip my lip. No place is perfect but if you don't engage you can bypass a lot of it.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Most people are exactly as happy as they make up their minds to be.
I realized years ago that being negative was not only dragging me down, it was dragging down everyone around me. People didn't want to BE around someone who was always negative. So I made up my mind to be happy. No, it didn't come overnight, and it's not really as easy as making up your mind. But then again, it is.
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. I've been through some truly rough times -- cancer (X3), domestic violence, divorce, etc. It's not always easy, but you look for the silver linings. If I hadn't had breast cancer, I would not have realized how much my husband loves me, I wouldn't have had the nerve to get a breast reduction (and every time I put on a bra, I thank God for my smaller breasts) and I would have had to fly to the Midwest to deal with it every time my mother got kicked out of another nursing home. There are some things so awful you either have to laugh or you cry. I choose to laugh -- it's a valid choice and it's a whole lot more fun than crying.
Mother and I used to laugh about some of the things she said and did in the early stages of her Alzheimer's. My sister thought we were crazy and used to get angry at us, especially me. "How could you make fun of Mother?" Mother was making fun of herself. "It's OK," she'd tell me. "Your sister doesn't understand. She can't laugh at herself. You should feel sorry for her, because look at all the fun she's missing." No, Alzheimer's is not fun, or funny. But how can you NOT laugh when you take your mother to a wedding and in the silence before the wedding party comes down the aisle, she asks (loudly) "Now whose funeral is this?" Yeah, you can cry because she's so confused, but laughing is a whole lot more fun.
One thing that helped me in the time between making up my mind to be happy and actually BEING happy was telling myself every time something bad happened "This will be a funny story someday." And then framing it in my mind as a funny story. It's easier not to be negative about something when you're imagining telling it as a funny story -- as long as your humor doesn't run toward sarcasm.
You've realized you have a problem and decided that you want to change. You're halfway there!
GM2RN
1,850 Posts
I have to agree with this one. The key is to train yourself to not respond to something right away. When you do that, you give yourself time to think about what to say. That's assuming that anything needs to be said at all. Sometimes it's best to just keep quiet.