My son called me lazy for being sleepy during the daytime!

[momofdandm]

I work 7p-7a on weekends. I have trouble a lot of the time switching my sleep/wake cycles from when I work (mainly weekends) and when I'm at home during the week. Some nights I sleep fine, other nights I'm wide awake, and have to sleep during the day to make up for it. My son told me that I was lazy for sleeping during the day. I gave him a lecture on my work schedule and how it's hard to sleep/stay awake sometimes because of it. My husband has made remarks as well. However, I will NOT go to day shift. The pay is less and you have more work to do. So, in a way I'm venting, but I'm also asking other people to share their stories. How do you respond when your family gets mad at you for not staying awake during the day or for not staying in the bed at night (since you can't sleep)?

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

The whole sleep schedule disturbance is a huge issue for us midnighters. It could have its own site. Thats why nights pays more.

Me, I'd just try to get more time with them during the day when I can. Also, if there is something that is interupting your sleep, bring that up to them. Hopefully they realize, for you to be able to adjust your sleep schedule so you can spend time with them, the time you are sleeping has to be respected.

[DoeRN]

I don't know if this will work but maybe have them try to stay up with you all night ( I guess when you son doesn't have to go to school the next morning. Maybe shoot for a day during spring break). Maybe you could have them do some house work so they will be working instead of sitting around watching tv. Then they can see first hand why you sleep during the day. Just a thought.

[inland18mempire]

tell that immature, naive, dorito-eating, skid-stained underpants, hyperactive walking-hormone to go work 12.5 hours and see if he doesn't feel like sleeping during the day. oh, and don't forget to tell your son a little something, too!

[SoCalHeart]

Hi, I am not yet a nurse, but I have a suggestion, although I am in a bit of a bad mood, but here goes! If they think you're lazy, educate them! Do you do the cooking, errands, cleaning or other household duties? If so, stop completely for a few days. Only do what you need to take care of yourself, everyone else can fend for themselves assuming your son is old enough to take care of himself. When they ask what's going on say THIS is lazy, I thought I'd lounge around for a few days so you're not mistaken. Maybe they'll start to appreciate your schedule and sleeping needs a little more. I also like the idea of having them up all night staying busy and asking how they feel the next day. Best wishes to you!

[ghillbert, MSN, NP]

Teach your son some respect? If I had ever said something like that to my (nightshift working RN) mum, my butt would have been stinging for a while!

Edit: I did actually feel I missed a lot of my mum's company due to her nights/sleeping schedule. As an adult, I realize that she was trying to make a good life for us by earning money, but I didn't understand that when I had a game and mum wasn't there because she was asleep etc. Maybe your son is missing you during the days?

[rn/writer, RN]

Somehow I don't think meeting his comments with hostility will accomplish a whole lot.

How old is your son? His age will have much to do with the kinds of communication that will be most effective.

[ToxicShock]

Easy: don't get married Haha, kidding!

I agree with rn/writer and the others.

[BroadwayRN, ASN, RN]

How do you respond when your family gets mad at you for not staying awake during the day or for not staying in the bed at night (since you can't sleep)?

I would set the alarm clock for about 3-4 hours after they go to bed (let them get into a good deep sleep) and wake them up. Turn on the lights. Make noise, whatever you can do to disturb their sleep for several nights in a row. They'll get the message. They are extremely selfish!

[loricatus]

Somehow I don't think meeting his comments with hostility will accomplish a whole lot.

How old is your son? His age will have much to do with the kinds of communication that will be most effective.

I agree that age will have a lot to do with the kind of communication that is needed; but, no child (at any age) should be disrespectful in calling their parent lazy. Since the child called the parent 'lazy,' some hostility directed at the disrespectfullness is warranted.

[ANnot4me]

People who do not work night shift are notoriously disrespectful of those of use who do. The things people have said to me are just insane and inconsiderate.

Perhaps you can tell your son that you will be happy to get a day job, but ask him what he will sacrifice so that you mad do so. I know you are not going to work days but pretend you would, figure out the money you would lose and have him choose exactly what luxuries he will do without. Then paint his back porch red and tell him if he ever disrepects you like that again, he will spend the rest of his days sleeping with one eye open.

As for your husband, I agree that he should be forced to stay up for a night (lots of energy drinks and sugar) and then sleep the next day while you carry on with noisey activities and the phone rings, etc. Then make him get up and do it again. Give him another day to sleep while you make noise and then force him to get up the next morning and carry on like normal.

[catshowlady]

You state that your husband has made comments about your sleeping habits as well. Perhaps your son is simply picking up what your husband is saying. Your son may be learning his comments and his attitude from his father. Your son may think it's OK to disrespect your choices about your work because your husband does the same thing.

You may need to address this situation with your husband before you will be able to address it successfully with your son. Just my .