My son called me lazy for being sleepy during the daytime!

[momofdandm]

I work 7p-7a on weekends. I have trouble a lot of the time switching my sleep/wake cycles from when I work (mainly weekends) and when I'm at home during the week. Some nights I sleep fine, other nights I'm wide awake, and have to sleep during the day to make up for it. My son told me that I was lazy for sleeping during the day. I gave him a lecture on my work schedule and how it's hard to sleep/stay awake sometimes because of it. My husband has made remarks as well. However, I will NOT go to day shift. The pay is less and you have more work to do. So, in a way I'm venting, but I'm also asking other people to share their stories. How do you respond when your family gets mad at you for not staying awake during the day or for not staying in the bed at night (since you can't sleep)?

[jstbreathe]

I completely understand about your son. I started working nights around 6 years ago. It was a big switch for my family. My kids now are 11 & 18. My smart mouth 18 year old has made the lazy comment to me many times in the past 6 years. He does not like my come back either. (usually a big fight) When I first started, my husband would wake me all the time to ask me stupid questions or to tell me where he is going! LIKE I CARE! He hated going anywhere without me knowing....in case I needed something! I AM SLEEPING! So now I leave them notes if I need them to do anything. I have told him to leave me notes too. This has been working pretty good.

No one in my family family works night shift. No one understands. My brother and his wife always used to send me text during the day. You know the stupid joke text. It was funny I did not hear from them during the week until the day I had to sleep. So, finally one night at 0200 I got all the RT's and RN's in my unit to call or send them both a text for about an hour. They got the message! They only call after 4pm now.

For my husband and kids....I know its hard on them. I work weekends so I can be home during the week. but, I am always up in the middle of the night during the week. It sux! I do laundry...clean house (you know, the stuff no one else can do on the weekend) I get the kids up in the morning, get them ready for school, then I go lay down til just before they get home from school.

Some times when I come home after working all night, my husband and youngest son are in my bed! (he started this when I started working nights) It aggrivates the hell out of me. I don't wake them....I just go sleep on the sofa til they get up. I do feel it is very selfish of my husband to allow my son to take up the bed. BUT, its MY choice to work nights and weekends!!! I try to teach them to respect my choice and in return I still do my "motherly duties".

I have discussed the fact that they would have to give up alot if I went to days. And, that I still wouldn't get home til 8p if I did work days. I would never see them! So for now I stay on nights and weekends! Its a hard sacrifice for us all. but for now we deal with it! Its sux! But like I said, its my choice!

I am sorry your son has said this to you, I know it hurts!

[jstbreathe]

I also have to say this. I don't think anyone understand night shifters! If I sleep til noon they tell me I sleep all day. I have lost a few friends do to them not understanding.

After hurricane Katrina, we lost our home and had to move in with my inlaws. They sooooo did not understand it. It ruined my relationship with them. She would always make as much noise as possible to try to wake me so I 'didn't sleep all day'.

Now, in the middle of the night (at their house) I just stayed in my room and tried to not make any noise to wake my inlaws up. THe house was soooo clean there was nothing to do in the middle of the night anyway!!

No one understands! but, like I said before, Its my choice to work nights! As long as they let me get the sleep I need when I have to work, the rest of the time I can be a zombie!

[kcochrane]

it would appear that son is an only? and preadolescent.....big changes going on here...try to schedule time with him but also explain that his comment was uncalled for and WILL not be repeated! make sure that he is involved socially...and dont get too involved with "his" issues, in other words separate yourself from him, in a healthy growing way......

the husband is another issue entirely! is he, also, an "only"?.....seems very self centered.....on the other hand, are you using this to put distance between you? if you work the same shifts weekly, set your self a schedule, and stick to it.....but make it around their activities as well as your own as much as possible....

and if this not sleeping when you should be tired enough to do so is a new issue, and you are over 35, have your hormones checked....good luck

Sorry but being an only doesn't fly. I am an only and far more considerate of other people than my dh who is one of 6. I was taught at an early age than when someone is sleeping you try and be as quiet as possible, because you would want the same thing. On the other hand, my dh will slam doors, yell, etc. and has no idea he's doing it. And it isn't just him...we lived above his sister and she is the same. For a 100lb person she sure walked like she was 500lbs. :lol Her husband- an only - never heard him except on rare occasions.

Self centered and inconsiderate comes in all family orders.

[caliotter3]

I'm sleepy 24 hours a day. I guess he would call me dead.