Mocked by teacher in post conference.

[dmena14]

I recently had my teacher mock me in front of the whole class like a bully in a park, "literally" making funny faces and noises like you are watching a movie about bullying. I will report this the the School president and file a complaint about this teacher.....am I being pitiful or is this really unprofessional behavior that should not be accepted? I torn if I should just accept it or stand up. Well, actually I will complaint regardless, but I do wonder. Humm? Please give your opinion.

[VivaLaVespaGirl, BSN, MSN]

Choosing to withdraw based on a single incident is incredibly rash.

A more appropriate response would have been to a) talk with the instructor about what happened to ensure you were not misunderstanding the situation and b) speak with the Dean and wait to see how they would handle the issue.

You mentioned you have some personal things you need to work out, so I would suggest working through that in therapy and see where you are in 6 months to a year. Good luck to you.

[Stephalump]

I had a bully clinical instructor. She played favorites and I was not one of them. It was an awful time in my life.

But I never complained. Not even when my next, very kind clinical instructor wanted to know where all my anxiety was coming from. Mostly because I was afraid to say a word as long as my fate was remotely in her hands. Maybe I should've said something. I don't know.

But I would tread lightly. One incident of eye rolling won't bring much down on your instructor, but one mishandled report could have consequences for you. It happens all the time.

[Emergent, RN]

Many of us had incidences like this in nursing school. I had my share. I also had a couple of very kind, nurturing, and incredible instructors.

You have to learn to be humble to be a nurse. Maybe that's why God sends us nasty instructors. But the good ones are like angels from Heaven, sent to lift us up and help us spread our wings.

I think you have a lesson to learn in all this. You need to become stronger and not run away from difficulties in life, or you will not prevail.

[Everline]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't tell you how many times I had to swallow my words, keep my goal in focus and push forward through a very difficult clinical day and instructor. It's not a fun position to be in. I'm not saying that students should have to put up with any type of behavior. I'm saying that you have to weigh your options and carefully consider whether any particular behavior by an instructor is worth what you might have to go through if you decide to make it an issue, either within yourself or to other people. The fact that you withdrew from the program suddenly over this incident shows that you were clearly very upset and humiliated. I don't think it's unusual to have "THAT'S IT! I QUIT!" moments. Usually they pass and we push through. IMO, in your case, there is obviously more going on here and I think it's very wise to try to work it out in therapy before you resume your nursing education. I wish you success.

[TC3200]

OK, ok, I'm so confused now, I didn't think RN school would be so dysfunctional.

Yeah, it is dysfunctional in the extreme. And downright abusive, from an adult's perspective. Nursing school admission letters ought to come with a red rubber-stamped disclaimer on them that says "This will be the most hostile and dysfunctional and disrespectful educational experience of your life."

I fought with my school over numerous deficiencies on their part, and was actually kicked out on three "conducts" because of it. I am over 50 and have worked in the real world of engineering since I was 21. To anyone who has actual work experience in careers where gender-neutrality and respect for ALL employees is part of the culture, the culture nursing is completely dysfunctional and unacceptable, a hostile work environment in the extreme.

The issue of blatantly shoddy and inadequate personnel protection that I carped about nonstop to my RN school is coming to the forefront now with the ebola virus found in a person who has been freely walking around in the USA. (neener, neener, neener, to my former Nursing School -- I was miles out ahead of you, thinking ahead to the next step, the way I have been trained to.)

If you still really want to be a nurse, OP, then find a different school or else wait it out and give them a song and dance about how you've reflected upon the errors of your ways and have learned from your mistakes and are so much more mature and blah, blah. That nursing instructor who mocked you might have just not liked the tone of your voice or something. I have a niece in her 20s who still talks baby-talk in a little-girl voice, and I'd like to just slap her every time she uses that little whiny or singsong voice. Take stock of your mannerisms and voice and language and if you are not "adult," then change.

Otherwise, take that "you were not meant to be a nurse" statement as a compliment and a signal that you are smart enough to not be anyone's doormat, at least not as a fulltime career. lol

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I had challenged a nurse instructor in PN school for going against best practice; I even had a meeting with the instructor and the head of the program; I ended up being denied being part of an honors recognition for that block.

I didn't run; I stayed in the program, excelled, got support from other teachers and even got honors by the time I graduated.

People are people; I have met in my travels despite one's credentials, I have learned a percentage of people we interact with have not mastered the developmental level past adolescence, so I have no expectations on how people act, however I have control on how I act, and that's what matters.

If you were re-experiencing feelings when you had a harassment case, then you best bet was to regroup and seek out counseling as you have; you now have the opportunity to work out how to handle challenging behaviors appropriately and assertively.

Best wishes.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Yikes? I knew that it was a game of how much crap I could take, is that part of being an RN? Wow?

Yes, this is all part of being an RN.

When you're a nurse, people test you to assess how much you'll take before you reach your personal breaking point. Anyone can 'try you,' including brusque doctors, verbally abusive family members, rude patients, and some of your meaner coworkers.

Nurses who are passive, psychologically weak, non-assertive or 'soft' often end up with bullseyes on their backs because they're the least likely to defend themselves against bullies. RNs need thick skins and tough psyches to make it in this profession and remain mentally intact.

As an RN, no one gives a rat's behind about how you're feeling inside. Instead of running away from challenges, you pick your battles wisely, fight for what you believe in and let the smaller stuff slide. If you run away from adversity all your life, you'll never succeed. It's your choice.

On a personal note, I regret not having strong personal boundaries and a healthy sense of self-efficacy during my first year of nursing. Some of my more opportunist coworkers sensed this weakness, so they acted like a pack of bulldogs and were mean to me at times.

Over the past five years my personal boundaries have become much stronger. I also have a good sense of self-efficacy and the belief that I am worthy of not being subject to verbal abuse. And you know what? Other people sense this, so no one messes with me anymore. Someone will 'try me' on occasion, but I lay down the boundaries during our first interaction.

Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way that bullies pick on those whom they perceive to be 'softies,' 'patsies,' and weaklings. This is true fur the 10-year-old schoolyard bully, and even truer for the 40-year-old instructor/coworker bully. The main difference is that our bully coworkers and instructors are operating on the same rudimentary level as their child bully counterparts who terrorize classmates at elementary schools across the country.

If you carry yourself with assertion and establish boundaries in the very beginning of the interaction, mean people move on to other easier targets.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I am sorry you felt the need to withdraw from the program based on the actions of one lousy teacher. Is that behavior from an instructor acceptable? Of course not! But rather than quitting you could look at this as just another learning experience. Believe me, as a nurse you will get mocked, yelled at, called names, possibly even be physically assaulted. Doctors can be rude, co-workers can be rude, your boss can be rude, even and maybe most often patients and their families can be rude. Learning to effectively deal with negativity tossed your way is in my opinion a pretty important part of being a nurse, at least it is if you want to not just survive but thrive in this career.

[cherokiimslm]

Yeh, I think that is what nursing school is about (how much you can take). In our program there was one really awesome instructor who treated everyone kind, and two bullies who stuck together and made life hell for well over half the class. Being picked on, I had to deal with it a lot. I felt really hopeless b/c I KNOW if I would have reported anything I would have been failed out based on my careplans (those grades had 40 points based on your clinical performance, which really means how I feel about you, and althought I KNOW my careplans were very good I was barely passing my careplans with the bullies, with the nice teacher I was making high marks). Honestly, something needs to be done about this. I was just so exhausted throughout school, that I knew I wasnt going to be able to be the one to try and make a change.

[cherokiimslm]

Also in our school there was a group of student the bullies liked (these were of course bully students), they did try to get in on it too, but I shut that down REAL FAST, which didnt help my situation either. Its a shame, but its like law of the jungle in most cases, only the strong survive--people are often times not much better than animals.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

You QUIT over this incident? Would you have done this in the workplace? Wow....

[cdsavannah59, CNA]

It just felt like....like...like when I sued my ex-employer for harassment. I mean I just knew something was completely out of line and wrong but while I was in her class she could do anything to my grade. (I got a settlement by the way, the fight was nasty but I prevailed cause I knew it was wrong.)

Im going to assume you sued the previous employer for harassment prior to nursing school. Careful with how many people you sue for improper treatment at work if your going to be a Nurse someday you don't want those types of things to be in a background check that shows court actions. If you really want to be a Nurse sign back up for classes. As a nurse you will probably get all kinds of attitudes with other doctors and nurses on rare occasions. going through nursing school will help you will eventually become more professional in how you respond to that type of attitude from others. Good luck and hope you return to nursing school if that's what you really want to do.