Is it possible to be a decent nurse if I'm a sociopath or have antisocial personality disorder?

[vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Antisocial personality disorder, left untreated, can harm those around the person who has it. Oftentimes these individuals use and exploit others for their own personal gains because they have no sense of right or wrong and the only thing that matters is furthering their own agenda. In the story about the good nurse, which is a true story, this person was mentally  unstable and did not get treatment. They ended up murdering hundreds to fulfill their own ideas about what heroism looks like...

[Wuzzie]

uniteddemclub said:

Do I have to genuinely connect with someone's emotional distress to be their nurse

Nope but you have to at least have a willingness to do what you can to mitigate it. 

[Davey Do]

A formally diagnosed individual with actual antisocial behavior will often act inappropriately, eventually do something to bring attention to themselves, and need to deal with the ramifications.

Not feeling sorry for someone is not necessarily an indication of a sociopath.  Not feeling emotional in a situation where a death is involved is also not. 

Many professionals, and I include myself, deal with deaths and go about their business. Some can separate themselves from feeling a lot of emotions in these circumstances. Not being emotional is not an indication of an antisocial behavior, nor is it even an indication of a professional lacking in the ability to render quality care.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Have you actually been diagnosed?

There's a huge spectrum between "cry myself to sleep at night when a patient dies" and "cold and uncaring to everyone."

You don't have to be the former to be a good nurse (in fact, I would argue that this lack of personal boundaries would make one a poor nurse), but no, I don't think you could be a very good or effective nurse if you're cold and uncaring to everyone. I mean, you need to at least be PLEASANT and polite to be able to function well in a role where you have to interact with other people.

[Crystal-Wings, LVN]

I mean....as long as you don't intentionally hurt or kill any of your patients then why not? There was that little girl in the Child of Rage documentary who had sociopathic tendencies who grew up to be a nurse and she's doing very well from what I read. 

[RNperdiem, RN]

I have read somewhere that sociopaths don't have the same issues with interpersonal anxiety and overthinking that a lot of us have. 

In a snarky way, wouldn't it be nice to leave your shift giving yourself a pat on the back for not smothering your patients with a pillow? Rather than self-criticism that you didn't measure up to an unrealistic standard of perfection that nurses are often held to? 

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

uniteddemclub said:

I have not actually been diagnosed but was told by an immediate family member that I should have been diagnosed as such.

Is this person a mental health professional? Were they upset with you about something? What was their motivation for making that declaration? I think that often we are our worst selves with family because we have unconditional love from them so we don't always put on our best behavior. 

You don't sound like you suffer from a true mental disorder. There are many competent caring nurses that have boundaries that are not indicative of a pathology. Not everyone is affected in the same way by the loss of a patient, or in watching patients and families deal with very difficult situations. As others have mentioned, if you have had positive interactions with patients, no matter what your internal feeling/dialog, you are able to provide appropriate nursing care. 

[Emergent, RN]

Emotional detachment is important in nursing. Studies have shown that nurses who are overly empathetic, have a higher rate of burnout. As long as you aren't slipping insulin into normal saline bags, I think someone who is not emotionally affected by outcomes with patients is actually in a stronger position to be an effective nurse.

[ZyzzFan]

Why wouldn't you be able to?  Empathy often clouds the mind and makes some act in ways that are out of passion and not evidence based.  Personally I believe that empathy is a weak personality characteristic and something that I have never felt myself.  The DSM is a very politically motivated document and not the end all be all.  There are many people with Antisocial Personality "disorder" that live a very successful and meaningful life, contributing much to the world, so does that really make it a "disorder"?

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Psychological screening tests can be found here at Positive Psychology: 12 Most Reliable Mental Health Assessment Tools that one can self administer if your concerned about comments people have made to you.

Consider consulting a mental health provider for formal assessment if your concerned about a mental health disorder and to get treatment support.

Many nurses function well with a mental health diagnosis/illness having successful careers.   AN posters have offered good advice and support.  Best wishes to you.

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

Things I expect of a nurse working with patients: technical skills and continuing growth of skills, politeness (even if the patient isn't), critical thinking, patience & de-escalation, respect for dignity and autonomy, engagement (even if you're faking it & don't care to hear about their dog...chat with them about their dog!), evidence-based practice, adherence to policy/procedures, advocacy for the patient's best interest.  You don't have to love (or even like) them, but you need to do right by them.

Things I expect of a coworker: pretty much all the same stuff! Recognize when someone is drowning and help out, think out solutions rather than expecting someone else to solve it for you (but know when to seek expert advice), don't throw others under the bus or promise anything you can't personally deliver.  You don't have to love or like your co-workers either, but you need to do right by them and should expect them to do right by you.

And I expect balance in all things. Evidence-based practice says "take out a Foley early," common sense says "don't wake up your patient at 0200 to take it out and then badger them with the bladder scanner at 0600."  Strict turning policies say "turn q2h," common sense and mercy says "but not when it's the first time your delirious patient has slept in 4 days."  You need to be able to adapt your practice and demeanor to different patients and different situations; if you can't do that then you will struggle and your patients will suffer.  Detachment is helpful, but disinterest is harmful.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Family members know what buttons to push so I would take someone saying you need to be diagnosed with anti-social disorder with a grain of salt.

But also being self-aware and working with that is important. 

I don't think many of us cry ourselves to sleep when a patient dies. 

We're all on a spectrum of personality types.  I don't know any of us that doesn't "fake it" from time to time.  There are times I'm tried, stressed, and in a bad mood but yet walk into that room and put that smile on and act like I care that their water picture has been empty for ten minutes.

On the other hand I think the best of us have some semblance of caring for people, their comfort, their pain, their well being.  Sometimes we're all they have and they look to us. If you're not treating your coworkers (not wanting to work as a team, not that you have to socialize with them) and patients decently because you're an anti-social personality then there's a problem.