Is it possible to be a decent nurse if I'm a sociopath or have antisocial personality disorder?

I'm a new nurse working at 2 snfs and I have to see signs in some of the offices say things like "Nurses are ordinary people with extraordinary hearts." What if I'm a nurse and I can't help but be cold and uncaring to everyone because of my condition?

I have had several patients pass away and I tried to feel bad for some of them. I think I feel a little bit shocked/sad for some patients who've passed away but it's not like I run home and cry myself to sleep whenever a patient dies. I just think that the deceased resident was suffering and it was their time to go and I move on.

Sociopaths don't usually feel sorry for anyone and I don't feel like I have to genuinely care about anyone in order to do my job.

I wonder if there are any other nurses who have ASPD and how they respond when someone wrongly assumes they're very empathic or able to feel sorry for others misfortunes just because they're a nurse.

Do I have to genuinely connect with someone's emotional distress to be their nurse or can I just fake it and provide their care just because it's my job?

[uniteddemclub, BSN, RN]

klone said:

Have you actually been diagnosed?

There's a huge spectrum between "cry myself to sleep at night when a patient dies" and "cold and uncaring to everyone."

You don't have to be the former to be a good nurse (in fact, I would argue that this lack of personal boundaries would make one a poor nurse), but no, I don't think you could be a very good or effective nurse if you're cold and uncaring to everyone. I mean, you need to at least be PLEASANT and polite to be able to function well in a role where you have to interact with other people.

I have not actually been diagnosed but was told by an immediate family member that I should have been diagnosed as such. I was told by a patient that I'm such a gentleman and I've given the impression that I'm nice when I'm at work. At the same time I don't feel like I'm truly the sympathetic and tenderhearted individual that everyone imagines a nurse to be.

[JKL33]

You haven't said anything about yourself that makes those diagnoses that you mentioned the most likely scenario. Those are defined diagnoses.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

You sound very hard on yourself. And I believe you can "fake it". 

[klone, MSN, RN]

uniteddemclub said:

 I was told by a patient that I'm such a gentleman and I've given the impression that I'm nice when I'm at work. 

Then it sounds like you either are not "cold and uncaring to everyone" or you at least have enough self-awareness that you can fake it effectively. As long as you are able to do that, and you're otherwise a good nurse (by "good" I mean skilled at critical thinking, multi-tasking, all the non-interpersonal relationship-y things that make a nurse good at their job), then you'll be fine.

[sleepwalker, MSN, NP]

sometimes I think my job sucks...doesn't mean I'm a vampire

[Davey Do]

Emergent said:

As long as you aren't slipping insulin into normal saline bags

...or Digoxin.

Oh, I saw that Movie, A Good Nurse and the watched a documentary on him. What a trip! And to top it all off, he kept getting hired at other institutions and administrators more or less enabled his behavior!

The killer male nurse was scary, but the administrators were even more so.

[Emergent, RN]

Davey Do said:

...or Digoxin.

Oh, I saw that Movie, A Good Nurse and the watched a documentary on him. What a trip! And to top it all off, he kept getting hired at other institutions and administrators more or less enabled his behavior!

The killer male nurse was scary, but the administrators were even more so.

Yeah, that's a weird kinda crazy ?‍?

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

ZyzzFan said:

Why wouldn't you be able to?  Empathy often clouds the mind and makes some act in ways that are out of passion and not evidence based.  Personally I believe that empathy is a weak personality characteristic and something that I have never felt myself

I agree. I often see on social media the memes "I'm an empath, I feel too much blah blah blah.." as if that's a badge of honor.  I think in some extremes in nursing it can be toxic.  

I am definitely not an empath, but I can listen and say "you've been through a lot, that must be tough..."  I can be understanding, being relatable and caring without getting to wrapped up emotionally with patients.

[Wuzzie]

Tweety said:

I agree. I often see on social media the memes "I'm an empath, I feel too much blah blah blah.." as if that's a badge of honor.  I think in some extremes in nursing it can be toxic.  

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the most vile people say "I'm an empath". I have an extremely difficult time not rolling my eyes and laughing out loud. 

[JKL33]

ZyzzFan said:

The DSM is a very politically motivated document and not the end all be all.  There are many people with Antisocial Personality "disorder" that live a very successful and meaningful life, contributing much to the world, so does that really make it a "disorder"?

Can you explain?

It seems like you are using a different/colloquial definition of "antisocial personality disorder" and then essentially stating it isn't a disorder and is no big deal.

The definition involves habitually and pervasively disregarding or violating the rights and considerations of others without remorse.

I suppose one could imagine that "antisocial personality" could simply mean not wearing your heart on your sleeve 24/7, but that isn't at all what is being described in accepted psychiatric definitions.  I'm not much of an empath myself, but that's a very far cry from pervasively disregarding and violating others without remorse. These people are not living their best life.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Alnitak7 said:

Sociopathy often clouds the mind and makes some act in ways that are not evidence based.   

I watched a  C.N.A.  with a severely arthritic patient who was jerking her limbs around  and ignoring her screams. She claimed that not doing this would make her worse.  She didn't care about anything but herself. 

They're known for putting  people in crisis and being insensitive to the feelings of others.   I've seen my coworkers deny people the right to water just to be obnoxious and had them prevent me from giving my patients adequate care.   I think a sociopathic nurse would need rigid self-control to work in such close contact with people.    

And all these people you describe have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder or sociopathy?

[Alnitak7]

klone said:

And all these people you describe have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder or sociopathy?

Do you think their charge nurses would negatively diagnose their favorites?