Hi all. Im going to explain the situation which is confusing. Not likely to be outright discrimination but I didn't know how else to word the title.
First of all, I look really young I know that's something i will appreciate as I get older. Im 22. I've always been told I look Younger. Im very small stature, short and very petite, I have a young face and a young voice, but I've never been questioned in my abilities. When I was 19 I used to model for a pre-teen magazine so I get that I could pass as almost a decade younger and been teased about it but never got under my skin til now
Long story short I am not allowed to take care of one of my patients as per family request because I am "a 12 year old."
My DON spoke to the family after they complained about me being too young to know what I am doing. The pt's daughter asked her for my age, where I went to school, if I have a valid license. She asked them if my performance demonstrated anything and the daughter couldnt give her any examples of any shortcomings or issues on my part- just that I look and sound like I have not even passed high school and she was uncomfortable because her elderly confused father kept calling me, "cutie pie"
btw I never encouraged him to call me that and I always just laughed and said my name is, "-----" to be professional.
My boss assured her that I am fully competent to do my job, very sweet and caring and not nearly as young as I look. That I just have "a baby face" but she also complained about my voice! My boss decided that since the daughter is completely irrational, that we'd just take me off her fathers care and things would he ok.
I guess I understand that she was just looking out for her dad. That's not a problem and if it stopped there I would not be so concerned.
I work noc shift and don't interact with this pt much. It wasn't a big deal. When I work as floor nurse my charge takes the patient for direct care, and when I am weekend charge I don't go in his room at all. The the family told another patients family member that I am still in high school and lied about my work ethic and capabilities as a nurse and that I must have not been background checked. I have a clean record and nothing against me, professionally or legally! I've had no other complaints at all! I feel that this borderlines some type of harassment or some legal issue. but I'm not sure. I am glad to not be a part of the patients care and never argued, complained, just went with whatever the family wanted! But she is coming off like she is trying to jeopardize my rapport with other patients and families!
Update I wrote a letter to my DON and cc'd administration and HR last night. Daughter is not allowed to speak with other residents. Private visits will be arranged in private areas or PTs room only. If she does not abide by these rules she'll be banned from the facility.
thank you for all your insightful replies. I knew it was slander or something crossing lines, just couldn't think of the correct term.
Update I wrote a letter to my DON and cc'd administration and HR last night. Daughter is not allowed to speak with other residents. Private visits will be arranged in private areas or PTs room only. If she does not abide by these rules she'll be banned from the facility.
thank you for all your insightful replies. I knew it was slander or something crossing lines, just couldn't think of the correct term.
Oh good heavens!!! What is the matter with people???? Our very best neurosurgeon looks like he should be at home playing video games, but he has saved numerous patients, and has the complete awe and adoration of every nurse he has ever worked with. The same is true of our best trauma surgeon! Both of them "look like they are 12"; however, they are the physicians I would most want to care for my family members.
There is an old hospital, nursing, medical aphorism that says in the hospital setting "there's a snake around every tree."
Unfortunately, very often you are dealing with patients and family members that are at various stages on the continuum of nuts.
The best thing to do is try to steer clear of Mr. "Cutie Pie" and the rest of the cutie pie family.
Document any inappropriate behavior and keep your supervisor in the loop.
Most people are alright and appreciative of your caring for their loved ones, but as they say in Dixie, if they spread unfounded rumors about your credentials or competence after being informed by the DON that you are a vetted and solid professional, they need to quit.
I know it's not outright discrimination I just didn't know if her lies to other pts and family could be legally stopped if She doesnt? Cause the DON is just not doing anything anymore and I have been told by other nurses that she is saying that my license isn't valid, that I am still in high school and have no nursing education. It borderlines something.. Im just not sure what.
Sounds like character defamation or slander. I'm not a lawyer, so check with a couple of lawyers on your own.
Maybe you, your boss, and this family member need to sit down together and hash it out.
Can you ask your boss to set the family member straight? Tell her you are a respected and competent staff member and let her know that the pt might have to be transferred to a different facility if this continues. Not that most bosses would do that. But your boss should give you some advice on how to handle this woman's rudeness, lies, exaggerations, etc. Ignore it? Call her on it? Try to keep it as low profile as possible because you will be the loser if things get out of hand.D
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
I recommend that you do not overestimate the effect this patient's daughter has on your life. What she says about you will reflect very badly on her if you keep your cool. Everyone is on your side here. She doesn't need to get kicked out or sued. Practice ignoring it. If someone asks you how old you are I recommend you say "I am over age 21." If someone asks you if you are still in high school, you can answer "No, I am a licensed practical nurse." If someone asks you why this young woman is saying you are a child, not a nurse, etc. simply respond, "I don't know why she has decided to do that." And go about your business, not letting this get to you, showing the utmost maturity and composure about the situation.
She will look like an ass. No one will believe her anymore. Folks will start talking about her, "Why did she do that? She was mean to that poor nurse", etc, etc and she will get what is coming to her. Do not jump in the way while she shoots herself in the foot.
Awesome! I've never faced anything like that, but the whole story made me spitting mad for you. Glad you stood up for yourself and stopped that nonsense!
NOT Discrimination BUT Legally it is LIBEL (verbal) by the family member. IF she ever puts it in writing it becomes Slander. Tell her NICELY with a witness who will back you up (truthfully) that if she persists in her untrue allegations you will be forced to " seek a legal solution to her falsehoods as it is impacting you professionally".
In public, if others ask, don't delve into detail and keep a straight face. I would still consider getting a lawyer though for at least a cease-and-desist. Anything to do with legal matters makes the lay person pee their pants much of the time, so that might send a strong message to her to stop slandering you
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WheresMyPen
129 Posts
Update I wrote a letter to my DON and cc'd administration and HR last night. Daughter is not allowed to speak with other residents. Private visits will be arranged in private areas or PTs room only. If she does not abide by these rules she'll be banned from the facility.
thank you for all your insightful replies. I knew it was slander or something crossing lines, just couldn't think of the correct term.