Is this discrimination?

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Hi all. Im going to explain the situation which is confusing. Not likely to be outright discrimination but I didn't know how else to word the title.

First of all, I look really young I know that's something i will appreciate as I get older. Im 22. I've always been told I look Younger. Im very small stature, short and very petite, I have a young face and a young voice, but I've never been questioned in my abilities. When I was 19 I used to model for a pre-teen magazine so I get that I could pass as almost a decade younger and been teased about it but never got under my skin til now :(

Long story short I am not allowed to take care of one of my patients as per family request because I am "a 12 year old."

My DON spoke to the family after they complained about me being too young to know what I am doing. The pt's daughter asked her for my age, where I went to school, if I have a valid license. She asked them if my performance demonstrated anything and the daughter couldnt give her any examples of any shortcomings or issues on my part- just that I look and sound like I have not even passed high school and she was uncomfortable because her elderly confused father kept calling me, "cutie pie"

btw I never encouraged him to call me that and I always just laughed and said my name is, "-----" to be professional.

My boss assured her that I am fully competent to do my job, very sweet and caring and not nearly as young as I look. That I just have "a baby face" but she also complained about my voice! My boss decided that since the daughter is completely irrational, that we'd just take me off her fathers care and things would he ok.

I guess I understand that she was just looking out for her dad. That's not a problem and if it stopped there I would not be so concerned.

I work noc shift and don't interact with this pt much. It wasn't a big deal. When I work as floor nurse my charge takes the patient for direct care, and when I am weekend charge I don't go in his room at all. The the family told another patients family member that I am still in high school and lied about my work ethic and capabilities as a nurse and that I must have not been background checked. I have a clean record and nothing against me, professionally or legally! I've had no other complaints at all! I feel that this borderlines some type of harassment or some legal issue. but I'm not sure. I am glad to not be a part of the patients care and never argued, complained, just went with whatever the family wanted! But she is coming off like she is trying to jeopardize my rapport with other patients and families!

I am really hurt over this. Any thoughts?

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Specializes in PCCN.

Typical of management. never sticking up for a good employee.

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Typical of management. never sticking up for a good employee.

i think my DON tried to assure her the best she could but the daughter didn't care. I guess we just had to do as she wished. I enjoyed caring for her dad (such a nice and funny man) but I was relieved to not have to deal with the daughter when taken away from his care....until she told other patients and families that I don't even have an education or real license! Im scared because I am about to finish my BSN program and I don't want anything to get in the way of my job, reputation.

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If she could lie about me like that who knows if she'll accuse me of anything else that isn't true

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Sometimes patients or families judge people wrongly. Sounds like it is their loss. I usually think of discrimation against a protected class of which you have not indicated you belong to.

If the daughter continues to stir up problems with other families your manager needs to be involved.

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Sometimes patients or families judge people wrongly. Sounds like it is their loss. I usually think of discrimation against a protected class of which you have not indicated you belong to.

If the daughter continues to stir up problems with other families your manager needs to be involved.

I know it's not outright discrimination I just didn't know if her lies to other pts and family could be legally stopped if She doesnt? Cause the DON is just not doing anything anymore and I have been told by other nurses that she is saying that my license isn't valid, that I am still in high school and have no nursing education. It borderlines something.. Im just not sure what.

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Be glad you are out of the line of fire - why get rotten nerves over something like that? I had family question my competence due to my accent ....

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Be glad you are out of the line of fire - why get rotten nerves over something like that? I had family question my competence due to my accent ....

yes I am relieved that I am not in direct care with the pt anymore but I do still feel like I'm in the line of fire. Day shift nurses kept having to tell other patients that I do in fact have a nursing license and not to listen to this mans daughter. Ive never had someone blatantly lie about me to others, even after her wishes were granted. I should probably start walking around with my license attached to my face lol

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Specializes in Ambulatory Care-Family Medicine.

I'm like you. I look several years younger than I am (I'm mid twenties). I've had patients say I don't look old enough to be a nurse, question how long I've been doing this, ask for the older nurse (even though she's a second career nurse and is still in her first year of practice). You just have to learn to ignore them and just roll with the punches. When patients ask if I've done this before I say no but I just watched a you tube video on it. That normally gets them laughing, for the ones that don't laugh I tell them I've done it countless times and have been a nurse for over 4 years now.

Sounds like your manager needs to tell this daughter that you do in fact have a nursing license and she is to stop telling other residents that you don't. If your facility is private property, management could have her escorted off property if her antics are really that bad. Point blank, she is trying to damage your name for whatever reason and management needs to step in and not just ignore it.

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I'm like you. I look several years younger than I am (I'm mid twenties). I've had patients say I don't look old enough to be a nurse, question how long I've been doing this, ask for the older nurse (even though she's a second career nurse and is still in her first year of practice). You just have to learn to ignore them and just roll with the punches. When patients ask if I've done this before I say no but I just watched a you tube video on it. That normally gets them laughing, for the ones that don't laugh I tell them I've done it countless times and have been a nurse for over 4 years now.

Sounds like your manager needs to tell this daughter that you do in fact have a nursing license and she is to stop telling other residents that you don't. If your facility is private property, management could have her escorted off property if her antics are really that bad. Point blank, she is trying to damage your name for whatever reason and management needs to step in and not just ignore it.

thank you. I am going to talk to my DON again or maybe I'll email her. I barely ever see her anymore. But I brought this up twice to her and my supervisers.

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Don't push this issue. You should be happy with the outcome. Imagine if this patient didn't want a black person providing his care. Would you get defensive over his preferences? Age is just another barrier to a patient's comfort (or in this case, the family).

As it has been stated, you are now out of the line of fire. When this patient eventually takes a turn for the worse (whether it be in two months or two years), you will look back and breathe a sigh of relief.

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Don't push this issue. You should be happy with the outcome. Imagine if this patient didn't want a black person providing his care. Would you get defensive over his preferences? Age is just another barrier to a patient's comfort (or in this case, the family).

As it has been stated, you are now out of the line of fire. When this patient eventually takes a turn for the worse (whether it be in two months or two years), you will look back and breathe a sigh of relief.

definitely. The minute she said she didn't want me to care for him I went right to my DON, no resistance or pushing on my part at all. agreed it's best he's not my pt anymore. Sad thing is pt felt like I didn't want to care for him anymore because that's what his daughter told him, which is what he told another nurse. I let it go completely but when other patients started asking me and my coworkers if it's "true that I don't have a nursing license" and stating what they'd been told my the daughter, it got to me. I don't like having to answer to a bunch of my patents, "yes I am qualified to care for you." And day nurses having to explain to other family members that the daughter is misleading them. What a ridiculous situation

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