Hi all. Im going to explain the situation which is confusing. Not likely to be outright discrimination but I didn't know how else to word the title.
First of all, I look really young I know that's something i will appreciate as I get older. Im 22. I've always been told I look Younger. Im very small stature, short and very petite, I have a young face and a young voice, but I've never been questioned in my abilities. When I was 19 I used to model for a pre-teen magazine so I get that I could pass as almost a decade younger and been teased about it but never got under my skin til now
Long story short I am not allowed to take care of one of my patients as per family request because I am "a 12 year old."
My DON spoke to the family after they complained about me being too young to know what I am doing. The pt's daughter asked her for my age, where I went to school, if I have a valid license. She asked them if my performance demonstrated anything and the daughter couldnt give her any examples of any shortcomings or issues on my part- just that I look and sound like I have not even passed high school and she was uncomfortable because her elderly confused father kept calling me, "cutie pie"
btw I never encouraged him to call me that and I always just laughed and said my name is, "-----" to be professional.
My boss assured her that I am fully competent to do my job, very sweet and caring and not nearly as young as I look. That I just have "a baby face" but she also complained about my voice! My boss decided that since the daughter is completely irrational, that we'd just take me off her fathers care and things would he ok.
I guess I understand that she was just looking out for her dad. That's not a problem and if it stopped there I would not be so concerned.
I work noc shift and don't interact with this pt much. It wasn't a big deal. When I work as floor nurse my charge takes the patient for direct care, and when I am weekend charge I don't go in his room at all. The the family told another patients family member that I am still in high school and lied about my work ethic and capabilities as a nurse and that I must have not been background checked. I have a clean record and nothing against me, professionally or legally! I've had no other complaints at all! I feel that this borderlines some type of harassment or some legal issue. but I'm not sure. I am glad to not be a part of the patients care and never argued, complained, just went with whatever the family wanted! But she is coming off like she is trying to jeopardize my rapport with other patients and families!
The patient's families are just being jerks. I'm sad to say this is not the first time you will have to deal with jerks as a nurse. Some families just have to stir the turd every day over something, it's what they do.
And there is the difference with US and Australia. We can still tell them to pull there heads in without fear of financial penalization from pt satisfaction scores or our bosses not supporting us.
Absolutely not discrimination. As for everything the daughter says, you know it's not true, try not to let it bother you. It sounds like you dodged a bullet by being taken off of his care! Focus on being the best nurse you can be and let her wallow in her bitter misery!
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
I know it's not outright discrimination I just didn't know if her lies to other pts and family could be legally stopped if She doesnt? Cause the DON is just not doing anything anymore and I have been told by other nurses that she is saying that my license isn't valid, that I am still in high school and have no nursing education. It borderlines something.. Im just not sure what.
the only way to make her stop legally is to hire a lawyer and issues a "Cease and Desist" order to her. She may or may not stop. If she chooses to continue you have to decide how far you want to push it. Do you want to file a law suit against her. It sounds like you are working in long term care so bear in mind that this family could be paying several thousand dollars a month and the management of the facility will likely not take your side. It might be best to just finish your education and move on.
The patient's families are just being jerks. I'm sad to say this is not the first time you will have to deal with jerks as a nurse. Some families just have to stir the turd every day over something, it's what they do.
Don't push this issue. You should be happy with the outcome. Imagine if this patient didn't want a black person providing his care. Would you get defensive over his preferences? Age is just another barrier to a patient's comfort (or in this case, the family).
As it has been stated, you are now out of the line of fire. When this patient eventually takes a turn for the worse (whether it be in two months or two years), you will look back and breathe a sigh of relief.
Huh??? Sorry but this comment is the epitome of STUPID. You completly missed the point of the post. She should be happy that someone is slandering her work ethic and credibility??? A patient always has the right to refuse care from whomever they choose, but going around telling other patients that she is unlicensed is just outright rude, disgusting, and defamation of her person on a whole. It only takes one person to start and spread nasty remarks; and there will be that one person that believes the remarks to be true.
OP if possible get yourself a lawyer and do as pp said and get a cease and desist order. Also be prepared to find another job because if you go this route, your job seems more likely to defend the patient and not you.
Oan: the daughter sounds like a jealous overgrown brat.
It sounds like you are working in long term care so bear in mind that this family could be paying several thousand dollars a month
hppy
Eventually, the private funds run out and they file for Medicaid, which then pays their expenses. Fewer and fewer LTC patients are private pay these days.
But, on topic...
I rarely advise contacting an attorney, but what this woman is doing is slander, pure and simple. Others have advised having an attorney send her a strongly worded "knock it off or we're going to go Medieval on your ugly butt" letter.
That sounds like an excellent idea. The situation has spiraled WAY past "ignore it, grow a thicker skin, she's just whacky". It could potentially impact OP's livelihood. The facility could decide that the easiest course of action would be to get rid of OP and not lose any revenue if other families pull Gramma out because they believe the lies.
If it continues I might even have my lawyer contact the facility lawyer for a friendly little sit-down.
Eventually, the private funds run out and they file for Medicaid, which then pays their expenses. Fewer and fewer LTC patients are private pay these days.
But, on topic...
I rarely advise contacting an attorney, but what this woman is doing is slander, pure and simple. Others have advised having an attorney send her a strongly worded "knock it off or we're going to go Medieval on your ugly butt" letter.
That sounds like an excellent idea. The situation has spiraled WAY past "ignore it, grow a thicker skin, she's just whacky". It could potentially impact OP's livelihood. The facility could decide that the easiest course of action would be to get rid of OP and not lose any revenue if other families pull Gramma out because they believe the lies.
If it continues I might even have my lawyer contact the facility lawyer for a friendly little sit-down.
This is something that needs to be handled. I work in LTC also and see stupid stuff like this from time to time. I look younger than my age as well even though I'm late twenties. And when an occasional resident asks me to "get the nurse" or refers to me as a student or states I'm too young, I politely correct them and we move about our business. Nothing comes of it and I can then do my job without struggle.
Your potential problem is all the people that daughter is talking to. If she is going beyond telling them you're not a real nurse and stating you are incompetent or any other lies about your performance it could bite you later. If a resident gets injured, or dies on your shift in an odd way, or something even slightly out of the norm, they could have a preconceived notion that you are a bad nurse and caused the death. The DON and facility would validate you are a real nurse but that wouldn't stop the family from being able to report you to the BON as a member of the public. You could the head ache of defending yourself over the lies of a rude family member who fired you.
This is is not likely to happen, but is possible and has happened before. The DON needs to get on top of this and you not backing down may help facilitate that. If not, then find another job. This headache is not worth it. And if you don't want to leave that facility and the DON won't help you, bring in your paper license and show it to the daughter to shut them up if you'd like. But it sounds like that daughter doesn't really care and just has it out for you for some reason.
Eventually, the private funds run out and they file for Medicaid, which then pays their expenses. Fewer and fewer LTC patients are private pay these days.
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Just a side note, while this is true in many facilities, it is usually not so in 5 star facilities or the like.
I work in an upscale facility where even though many of the residents have Medicare (if they are receiving skilled care), the vast majority are private pay. This is an over 100 bed LTC/SNF/Memory care. The only ones who aren't private pay bought into a life long insurance policy with this facility while they were still in the independent living homes on property and will now be cared for for life. Even if they run out of money. Outside of those, people pay like $10000+/month to live here in LTC. Our facility puts up with a lot of crap from people because of it. For the most part, the residents are nice and appreciate the care they receive, but there are definitely some that are rude and demanding.
I digress. Other facilities I have worked for are exactly as you describe. Private pay until the money runs out and then Medicare.
Sometimes patients or families judge people wrongly. Sounds like it is their loss. I usually think of discrimation against a protected class of which you have not indicated you belong to.
If the daughter continues to stir up problems with other families your manager needs to be involved.
Well what if the OP was an older nurse and the family questioned her capabilities because she was TOO OLD? She may have a case related to ageism and possibly slander, since the family is going around to everyone and outright lying.
OP, record all of these incidences and if management doesn't do something about it (I doubt they will), then you need to take this higher up. What if other family members keep you from caring for their loved ones as well?
This hits a nerve because I'm a 30 year old nurse who looks 16 and I've been questioned (and sometimes disrespected) by patient family members and sometimes my peers because they take one look at me and think I'm too young to know anything. Usually when people find out my age, they change their approach to me. But I've been a nurse since 22 and always felt like I've had to prove myself more than most because I look "too young".
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Eventually, the private funds run out and they file for Medicaid, which then pays their expenses. Fewer and fewer LTC patients are private pay these days.
But, on topic...
I rarely advise contacting an attorney, but what this woman is doing is slander, pure and simple. Others have advised having an attorney send her a strongly worded "knock it off or we're going to go Medieval on your ugly butt" letter.
That sounds like an excellent idea. The situation has spiraled WAY past "ignore it, grow a thicker skin, she's just whacky". It could potentially impact OP's livelihood. The facility could decide that the easiest course of action would be to get rid of OP and not lose any revenue if other families pull Gramma out because they believe the lies.
If it continues I might even have my lawyer contact the facility lawyer for a friendly little sit-down.
. And if you don't want to leave that facility and the DON won't help you, bring in your paper license and show it to the daughter to shut them up if you'd like. .
And the responce would be "anybody can print sumethin' like it outta Googla" (a lady who tried to write to corporate offices that all nurses in the unit were incompetent slobs, and the only one who was kinda worth it was, without doubt, an illegal immigrant who spoke no English and washed hands with vodka every time when she entered or left the room). That was one of the first cases of CRE out there, and we all were kinda paranoid about it.
Thanks God, someone Up There happened to have some sense of humor. But I'm afraid that BON won't have any for such case.
K+MgSO4, BSN
1,753 Posts
And there is the difference with US and Australia. We can still tell them to pull there heads in without fear of financial penalization from pt satisfaction scores or our bosses not supporting us.