I'm falling for my PRECEPTOR

CHATSDALE · Feb 10, 2006

EVERYBODY falls in love with their preceptor it goes away DO NOT act on this crushes have a way of turning around and crushing you

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

They joined a year ago and have only posted 4 times in that year.

And they just posted this yesterday, some people don't come here everyday.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

I moved to a bigger hosp,& he's been preceptin for a month.Am falling for him,he is so smart & intelligent,am so distracted now.When Im off frm work am singing love songs for 4 hrs on my videoke just to ventilate!For goodness sake we're both marrieds & have kid.I don't know whom to confide to,am afraid somebody might spread gossip.What do I need to do,already havin hard time sleepin,gettin restless...

Here's my opinion:

Sounds like a crush to me. Is there something "missing" at home that you see in this person?

MMARN, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

Temptation is everywhere, yet when you marry someone it should be a lifetime committment... and that is no joke, either.
BTW, once an OP presents a topic so serious as this one on a public msg brd, then opinions are fair game. However, personally my intention is never to judge an individual, but judge an individual's actions I may do in the spirit of discussion.

I agree with Corvette Guy 100%. I posted here, not to present judgement (even though as I'm sure all others, including myself, have certain beliefs) but to give the OP advice. OP is obviously seeking advice and that is what most of us are giving her.

However, as most of us have said, once you've entered into a marriage, that relationship becomes something bigger and more important; two people joining to make one. Then, once you add children, that marriage becomes that one married life PLUS the responsibility to raise one more life.

I'm not sure if I'm being clear, but to put it a bit simpler, once you're married, you have to think about your family. Selfish thoughts include only ONE person. In a marriage, more than one is involved. I'm not saying the OP is being selfish, I'm just saying that you HAVE to think about other people when you've agreed to share your life.

jen42 · Feb 10, 2006

Everybody gets crushes... I have gotten major ones. I usually tell my fiancee that I have a crush on someone, and we laugh about it because he gets them too. We trust each other and know that nobody's going to fly off the handle and leave, because we love each other, but we've been together so long that crushes arise. Totally normal. We don't act on them, we wait them out, we remember that we love each other.

These feelings always have gone away for me, usually leaving a pleasant friendship in their wake. It sounds like you haven't really had a crush since getting married, and this first one is a doozy.

If there wasn't a kid involved, I might be less emphatic, but for God's sake, separate yourself from this guy and move on. You have a child to think about.

I don't know anything about your marriage. This may be a symptom of something wrong in the marriage, but unless you really feel you're being treated badly somehow, do everything you can to save it! Go to counseling, talk with your husband, don't give up on it so soon. You have a child and you're not responsible for just yourself anymore.

And honestly, singing love songs on the karaoke machine... typical crush vs. love behavior! :)

tridil2000, MSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

I moved to a bigger hosp,& he's been preceptin for a month.Am falling for him,he is so smart & intelligent,am so distracted now.When Im off frm work am singing love songs for 4 hrs on my videoke just to ventilate!For goodness sake we're both marrieds & have kid.I don't know whom to confide to,am afraid somebody might spread gossip.What do I need to do,already havin hard time sleepin,gettin restless...

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do him in the closet, have his baby and run away with him, leaving your husband and child wondering.

i mean, what did you think you were going to hear???????:selfbonk:

RazorbackRN, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

Is this a joke? If not, how about being faithful to your husband.

Isn't that the truth!!

mzkede · Feb 10, 2006

atleast some one has the guts to be honest:mad: :mad:

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

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do him in the closet, have his baby and run away with him, leaving your husband and child wondering.
i mean, what did you think you were going to hear???????:selfbonk:

LOL!!!!

Trauma Columnist · Feb 10, 2006

To the OP - how are things going now? I think many posters have given very sound advice. Good luck.

MultipurposeRN · Feb 10, 2006

Work crushes come and go. I've been through them, so have most people. No need for anyone to be judgemental about someone experiencing them.

The thing is to leave them strictly at work and keep things professional and courteous. It's hard sometimes not to get feelings for someone sharing intense experiences with you such as nursing can have; but hopefully those feelings fade and the respect and friendship remain.

Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN · Feb 11, 2006

... I will never trivialize someone's feelings by stating things that sound so simple as "just get over it" or "just be faithful to your husband", etc., I know how hard it can be when you find yourself truly, deeply in love with someone you never planned to. There is such a thing as "it just happened" and it's not something to be taken lightly on anyone's part. I know married people don't want to think about it, but anyone who has experienced it can understand and empathize...

Agree.