I'm falling for my PRECEPTOR

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I moved to a bigger hosp,& he's been preceptin for a month.Am falling for him,he is so smart & intelligent,am so distracted now.When Im off frm work am singing love songs for 4 hrs on my videoke just to ventilate!For goodness sake we're both marrieds & have kid.I don't know whom to confide to,am afraid somebody might spread gossip.What do I need to do,already havin hard time sleepin,gettin restless...

My question is this: Is this a one-sided INFATUATION.

Why not focus on what is positive within your own life, instead of focusing on something that may only be one-sided on your part.

EXACTLY. If he'll cheat with you, what's to stop him from cheating on you if you wind up with him. What would stop you from cheating on him?

When people cheat on their spouses, they have only proven on thing: That neither one can be trusted.

Actually, this is true. My former husband cheated on me - (can I just say it hurts like hell, especially when you have kids together) . . . . .and he married the woman he cheated with. Now she has cheated on him with a 19 year old guy. (She is 47).

What comes around, goes around.

steph

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Specializes in Case Management.

You could put in terms that, "Gosh, I hope my husband never falls down a well, but if he does, I hope your wife runs off with the kids..."

:roll :roll :roll :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll :roll

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

Here's what I think. Sit down, because it's gonna sound harsh.

What you need to do is get alone with your husband and have a really deep heart-to-heart chat about what is going on with you emotionally. You need to tell him how you feel about this preceptor. You need to be honest about your feelings regarding your husband and your marriage. You need to seriously explore why you can't seem to have this exciting relationship with the one you're supposed to be excited about and madly in love with--your own husband.

If you can't do that, you need counseling badly and you need to realize that your marriage was in deep doo-doo before this situation ever happened. The situation itself is only a symptom. You need to see the desire to cheat for what it really is--a symptom that you and your husband are growing apart.

If you still truly love your husband, you will try to put the fire back into your marriage before you douse it completely by cheating on him. Because I--and the others who have advised you to stay faithful--can pretty much guarantee that you won't get your emotional needs met this way. You could wind up losing your license, your job, your home, your marriage, your self-respect....shall I go on?

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I guess someone could fall for their preceptor but singing karaoke love songs for hours every day? If the husband is intelligent at all he might know something is up.

Who has four hours of free time every day!?

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Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

Well look at it like this, you are excited about your new job and it is going well. Your orientation is living up to your expectations and then some, he is helping with that and presents information in a manner you can understand. He happens to be a part of your success in this step in your career so of course it seems like HE excites you. It is likely more the whole picture that is really exciting you...you are succeeding in this career change, that is what is stimulating you....Try thinking that you are the success and that your family has allowed you to pursue this direction. HIS presence may not always give you that really positive rush of hormones, but your successess in what you try to achieve will ALWAYS have the same result. Get high on life, it feels good and always remember that it was you who initiated this. Teach your kids that too, please.

GOOD LUCK

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
you could redirect your feelings if you chose to....:uhoh3:

Exactly.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Don't be so judgemental. These things do happen in real life, it is not a joke. Just have to wiegh the benefits and cons.

The cons being how many people this results in hurtuing, over selfish actions.

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Some people have these sort of feelings because of stress.

I'm thinking that perhaps this might be the reason the original poster is feeling this way.....it's a distraction.

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I still think this is a joke......but, if she feels that she is falling for this guy than she has an opportunity to take herself away from the situation and maintain LOYALTY to her husband and children. sheesh it is not that hard to be faithful to your husband. If you want to explore other relationships than get a divorce first! Don't explore other relationships than decide you cannot leave your husband and kids-thats not fair to them.

:yeahthat: :yeah: :yeahthat::yeah: :yeahthat:

OP: There is never going to be a good excuse to contemplate cheating on your husband. Some people never recover from these types of moral decisions. Think about where you want to be in the long run and what you will think about yourself when this is all said and done. Wrong is wrong is wrong... no matter how many ways you try to spin it. In the end there will be no excuse for your behavior, just your flawed character. What will you tell your children? Do you think they will be proud of you because you followed your feelings and cheated or because you stuck by your husband when it got tough? This is an everybody loses situation-- run the other way!!

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IMA, when you are with this guy make a point to talk about your husband and kids. When you are done talking about the good things about your family life, start talking about his wife and kids. This may help keep you in the right mind set.

Or.. just sleep with him and destroy your husbands, kids, parent, inlaws friends, his wife, his kids, his parents his in-laws his friends, HIS and YOUR lifes.

Just my $.02.

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Here's something to think about: sexual harassment. If you express feelings that aren't reciprocated, this might be seen as sexual harassment. If you two exchange subtle sexual innuendos in the work place, this may be seen by others as sexual harassment. Also, it is possible that you are the target of behaviors with sexual intent. Your preceptor may be stepping outside professional boundaries.

It sounds like you are feeling very stressed. I would urge you to share your feelings with someone you trust, but not someone you work with.

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This has got to be a joke. What do you think this is? An episode of Scrubs?

I do think it is suspicious and unusual... not seeing too much of the OP.

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