I'm falling for my PRECEPTOR

HannasMom · Feb 10, 2006

Ima you have a problem. Singing Karoke songs for hours.... Get real, what about your child? You need to really look at what you have now, not what YOU think could be. You could end up being the loser in the end. No husband, no child, (this can happen) and no crush.

Corvette Guy · Feb 10, 2006

I'm not going to point out that you should be faithful to your husband, you know that much. I can speak from experience and say that I know what it's like to truly fall in love with someone other than your spouse. In my case it was doctor at the hospital I worked at and the affair lasted for 5 years, even after I left that hospital. I was ultimately the one who could not leave my husband because of what it would do to my children. I love him still, but I know the decision I made was right. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don't know all of the circumstances of your situation, but I would say this, iIf you really love each other you can put it on hold until your professional relationship is not so close. When he is not in a supervisory role you can sort out all of the personal circumstances surrounding your relationship. From knowing what this is like firsthand I will never trivialize someone's feelings by stating things that sound so simple as "just get over it" or "just be faithful to your husband", etc., I know how hard it can be when you find yourself truly, deeply in love with someone you never planned to. There is such a thing as "it just happened" and it's not something to be taken lightly on anyone's part. I know married people don't want to think about it, but anyone who has experienced it can understand and empathize. I hope this works out for you and it does not effect your career, it's a very fine line to walk both professionally and personally. I wish you the best.

sandys -

Excuse me! Since when did being faithful to your spouse, or honoring your wedding vows become so trivial? :angryfire

BTW, your right... marriage is not something that should be taken lightly! Experienced what, cheating on your spouse? No, being one that has experienced being cheated on [in a previous marriage] I cannot possibly empathize with someone like you that cheated on there husband for 5 yrs, plus encourages this OP to possibly do the same based on it just happens. :nono:

MMARN, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

I'm not going to judge b/c who in the world am I to do it? I will say, though, that cheating is WRONG!!!!! The consequences of you doing this are waaaayyy too great. Think about your kid (s). Think about your career. It is NOT a good idea, even if you do leave this job and go some where else and keep going with the relationship in order to avoid gossip. Cheating ruins lives; your child's, yours, your husband's. You must really think about this. You took those vows for a reason and they are meant to stay sacred. I hope it's just a passing thing. A crush. (Even though it's still wrong). I hope that you reevaluate your feelings and prioritize what matters to you most: him or your family. God bless you and I hope you make the right decision.

Mave.

Corvette Guy · Feb 10, 2006

I'm not going to judge b/c who in the world am I to do it? I will say, though, that cheating is WRONG!!!!! The consequences of you doing this are waaaayyy too great. Think about your kid (s). Think about your career. It is NOT a good idea, even if you do leave this job and go some where else. Cheating ruins lives; your child's, yours, your husband's. You must really think about this. You took those vows for a reason and they are meant to stay sacred. I hope it's just a passing thing. A crush. (Even though it's still wrong). I hope that you reevaluate your feelings and prioritize what matters to you most: him or your family. God bless you and I hope you make the right decision.
Mave.

:yeah:

babydimples · Feb 10, 2006

You must be just admiring his good qualities. You just have to remind yourself that you're already committed and pray for guidance. Don't worry it will just pass away.

Princess74 · Feb 10, 2006

My advice... don't go there. You are married, he is married and it is WRONG. If you want to mess around, get a divorce FIRST!!!

rngreenhorn · Feb 10, 2006

Not to worry... scientists have discovered that the hormones/ chemical changes the cause "romatic love" only last for 12 to 18 months. After that, "love" takes work. So, if you go through with your urge and destroy two families, you will be right back (with your new 'lover') where you are with your current husband in 12 to 18 months. If you control yourself and perhaps read the book suggested by Nurse Ratchet your crush should decrease in 12 to 18 months.

Besides if he really is that great of a guy, he wouldn't be contemplating cheating on his wife.

pugmum · Feb 10, 2006

I moved to a bigger hosp,& he's been preceptin for a month.Am falling for him,he is so smart & intelligent,am so distracted now.When Im off frm work am singing love songs for 4 hrs on my videoke just to ventilate!For goodness sake we're both marrieds & have kid.I don't know whom to confide to,am afraid somebody might spread gossip.What do I need to do,already havin hard time sleepin,gettin restless...

Get a grip...he is probably not any smarter or more intelligent than your husband, just different. You're in a new situation, that's all, and you need to grap your ears and give your head a shake.

If you are having difficulty maintaining your professionalism, you need to see your instructor and get a new preceptor. Never mind what the unit is like or who is going to talk. You think they won't talk if this keeps up?

Don't blow this now. I don't imagine you went to school and put in all this time and effort to see it collapse in little pieces. If you can't have a professional relationship, better ensure that it is no relationship.

Good luck to you...

pugmum · Feb 10, 2006

Sorry, misunderstood the post, was under the impression this was a student...but the advice still applies.

Corvette Guy · Feb 10, 2006

...Besides if he really is that great of a guy, he wouldn't be contemplating cheating on his wife.

BINGO!

DusktilDawn · Feb 10, 2006

My question is this: Is this a one-sided INFATUATION.

Why not focus on what is positive within your own life, instead of focusing on something that may only be one-sided on your part.

Originally Posted by rngreenhorn
...Besides if he really is that great of a guy, he wouldn't be contemplating cheating on his wife.

EXACTLY. If he'll cheat with you, what's to stop him from cheating on you if you wind up with him. What would stop you from cheating on him?

When people cheat on their spouses, they have only proven on thing: That neither one can be trusted.

Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

when 2 people fall for each other and it doesn't work only 2 people get hurt. whe 2 MARRIED people fall for each other and it doesn't work any where from 6-8 peole get hurt sounds kinda selfish when you put it together, huh?