I Was Fired...for Being Abrasive and Having Attitude

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1 hour ago, KalipsoRed21 said:

Well as poopy as it must feel to get fired, it is better to be let go than struggle to fit in where you don’t. But for the next year it is SUPER important that you quit telling people what you know or what you think you know and just be greatful for ANY advice you are given.....even if you think it is incorrect.

My way around ruffling feathers when I was new and pretty sure a nurse was practicing ‘old school’ but not ‘evidence based’ was to let her show me what she thought I should be doing and let her do it to the patient. Chart that you were assisted by nurse so n’ so for that procedure. And when I had the next one, grab a different senior nurse I may have trusted a little more to watch me do it. If she said I did it correct or showed me something different I would start practicing that way. If the first nurse said something about what I was doing then I could just say, “Well —— told me to do it this way.” Maybe we should all talk together? Most likely no one will want to have a group meeting about whatever it is you are doing and you just continue to do things the way you were shown by the nurse you trusted more. I know it seems like a long way around, and it is, but this is how to be humble.

I think this is a great strategy but am afraid my attention span would be too short in order to be able to apply it!

Specializes in Neuro.

I'd just think of it this way...imagine yourself 10+ years down the road, you're a veteran nurse & you notice the new grad on your unit is either doing something wrong or in a way that could be done better. You go up to them trying to guide or maybe even correct. You know what you're doing likely, after all you've got experience. Then the new grad perhaps gets defensive and does not take your tips/correction/guidance with an open mind or willingness to learn. Instead they perhaps try to argue why they are doing it their way instead. Then maybe this new grad perhaps does this frequently with others as well. How would you take this or feel about that new grad as the experienced nurse? How would you feel trying to work with them in an emergency setting, like the ED you're in?

I can't assume a lot about you from this minimal post. But perhaps some self reflection & willingness to hear others out may help you. Not to say letting you go so quickly was right, but you have to ask did you show your team a willingness to learn and work together or did you show them as a newbie you were not flexible and easy to work with? Let this be a learning experience in which you can build your foundation of becoming a great nurse and even better team player. Don't give up, just learn and keep going.

I don't know why people think "not having a filter" is a good qualit

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
KarenMS said:

I don't know why people think "not having a filter" is a good quality

I tend to agree. It translates as "I have poor social awareness, poor self regulation and I don't care that I hurt other people by the things I say and do". I am not sure that the people who suffer from no filter realize it...or if they just don't care. I suspect they mean it to be a reflection of self confidence, but it actually conveys knowledge of a pretty damaging personality issue.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
1 hour ago, Nurse SMS said:

I tend to agree. It translates as "I have poor social awareness, poor self regulation and I don't care that I hurt other people by the things I say and do". I am not sure that the people who suffer from no filter realize it...or if they just don't care. I suspect they mean it to be a reflection of self confidence, but it actually conveys knowledge of a pretty damaging personality issue.

This is so insightful!

On 10/7/2019 at 9:57 PM, KalipsoRed21 said:

My way around ruffling feathers when I was new and pretty sure a nurse was practicing ‘old school’ but not ‘evidence based’

Point of clarification..."old school" does not necessarily mean "not evidence based". However, wrong is always wrong.

Specializes in Nursing Education, Public Health, Medical Policy.
On 10/8/2019 at 9:36 AM, Nurse SMS said:

I tend to agree. It translates as "I have poor social awareness, poor self regulation and I don't care that I hurt other people by the things I say and do". I am not sure that the people who suffer from no filter realize it...or if they just don't care. I suspect they mean it to be a reflection of self confidence, but it actually conveys knowledge of a pretty damaging personality issue.

^^^ this is 100% real

Specializes in Tele/Interventional/Non-Invasive Cardiology.
9 minutes ago, Undercat said:

I used to be one of those real blunt New Yorkers. A lot of it was work related - the constant stress and fatigue were major factors - but a lot of it was just NYC socialization. I moved to the Midwest and figured out that I could use anger management techniques to my advantage. Take a deep breath, bite my tongue and THINK (it's not illegal yet) before I opened my mouth. I have become a more patient person from this exercise. It's made my life much easier.

^^^^this!!!! Lol! Im from LA originally but lived in NY for many years. It’s still a big struggle for me lol! I’m trying to learn and grow.

OP, I have a big personality. I have a loud voice, I laugh hard, and I’m very chatty. When I’m not in the best mood, people notice. I chat with all my families, fellow nurses, and physicians. That’s a big personality.

I recently saw a new grad who had trouble fitting in. She struggled in her communication skills with coworkers. She did well with families and was very book smart. Unfortunately, that didn’t translate to others. She came off as very confident which scared the experienced nurses. We all like you to have a healthy amount of fear in you. It keeps you from making big errors.

Just keep in mind that you are new. You are being watched and criticized constantly by everyone on the unit. There has to be a certain level of trust. People’s lives are in your hands and your teammates have to trust you, and if they don’t, it just won’t work.

I truly hope you learn from this. Yes, you need a filter. You need to be willing to take constructive criticism. And you cannot critique others yet, including patients because you haven’t earned that right yet. Keep your head down, learn all you can, and you will be fine. Keep the extra comments to yourself.

Good Luck.

On 10/17/2019 at 5:25 PM, LovingLife123 said:

OP, I have a big personality. I have a loud voice, I laugh hard, and I’m very chatty. When I’m not in the best mood, people notice. I chat with all my families, fellow nurses, and physicians. That’s a big personality.

I recently saw a new grad who had trouble fitting in. She struggled in her communication skills with coworkers. She did well with families and was very book smart. Unfortunately, that didn’t translate to others. She came off as very confident which scared the experienced nurses. We all like you to have a healthy amount of fear in you. It keeps you from making big errors.

Just keep in mind that you are new. You are being watched and criticized constantly by everyone on the unit. There has to be a certain level of trust. People’s lives are in your hands and your teammates have to trust you, and if they don’t, it just won’t work.

I truly hope you learn from this. Yes, you need a filter. You need to be willing to take constructive criticism. And you cannot critique others yet, including patients because you haven’t earned that right yet. Keep your head down, learn all you can, and you will be fine. Keep the extra comments to yourself.

Good Luck.

What in gods name is this nonsense . Ive worked with nurses I have hated and dont trust . But at the end of the day its about the pt. I ensured that we both did nothing but the best as the pt advocate. then start to hate them once I clock out . By law under the nurse practice act in texas . it states we must work together regardless of person blah blah blah . Plus only her preceptor should be instructing her . Tbh you have case for bulling and need to sue tbh . read your rights Arrogant people have a right to a job and a dream too . All this trust bs . I fought for a doc that was being bullied becuase he had a lambo and a degree from oxford and was a tad bit upidty , but he was good and he deserved to be upidty, he accomplished more than any doctor there and nurse .No nurse trusts another nurse 100% and shouldnt . I bet I can prove my point give a med that some else pulled ..... thought so .

On 10/7/2019 at 11:35 AM, JKL33 said:

Every direction, every correction, every comment...does not need a reply, a defense, a justification, an explanation. What it says (to others) is that you are not going to spend time processing the information you've been given and instead have immediately sought to talk instead of contemplate.

@JKL33, can you come to my house and say this to my kid? Airfare and accomodations included.....

Specializes in Tele/Interventional/Non-Invasive Cardiology.
11 minutes ago, Nurse SMS said:

The Board does not go after new grads for "not speaking up". This is a red herring.

If you are unsure about what the BON considers fault-worthy, go to your state's BON website and take a gander at the disciplinary actions. They are public.

Fine. When your manager or risk wonders why you didn’t speak up? Is that better? I think you missed my main point by nitpicking. Because I have been in meetings where exactly what I have said has happened.

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