Hello all! I am new the the forum. I apologize if this is the wrong place to post a topic such as this.
First, some background. Me and my girlfriend are both 20, and we are both full time students in college. She is going into nursing, and I am going for a bachelor in exercise science.
She will be starting the nursing program in January 2016. I have been researching what being a nurse entails, and what it takes to get through nursing school. I've read about how stressful it is, how hard the long, emotionally taxing shifts are, and how time consuming the nursing program is. Before I go any further, let me just say that you guys are amazing. I simply don't believe I would have the strength to do what you guys do. God bless all of you.
Okay, moving on... The reason I came hear is because I want to support her to the absolute best of my abilities. The problem is, I have no understanding of what nursing school is truly like. Sure, I've read a few blog posts about it, but so what? What I would like from you preferably experienced female nurses, is some advice on what I, as her boyfriend, can do to help her get through what sounds like a very hard challenge.
What is it like?
What kind of stresses will she be going through?
What, if anything, can I do to relieve those stresses, even if only a little?
Obviously since I am not in the nursing profession, I lack perspective on what it's truly like. Is there any way I can get a hint of understanding? Of the program, and of nursing in general?
An optional second question: I hear that nursing is an extremely high-stress job. What with the enormous responsibility that comes with essentially holding someone's life in your hands, and the attachment that comes with caring fro your patients. Combined with long hours, large workloads, etc. If it turns out that God has in His plans for us to get married, what can I do to support and help her through these aspects of her career?
Hello all! I am new the the forum. I apologize if this is the wrong place to post a topic such as this.
First, some background. Me and my girlfriend are both 20, and we are both full time students in college. She is going into nursing, and I am going for a bachelor in exercise science.
She will be starting the nursing program in January 2016. I have been researching what being a nurse entails, and what it takes to get through nursing school. I've read about how stressful it is, how hard the long, emotionally taxing shifts are, and how time consuming the nursing program is. Before I go any further, let me just say that you guys are amazing. I simply don't believe I would have the strength to do what you guys do. God bless all of you.
Okay, moving on... The reason I came hear is because I want to support her to the absolute best of my abilities. The problem is, I have no understanding of what nursing school is truly like. Sure, I've read a few blog posts about it, but so what? What I would like from you preferably experienced female nurses, is some advice on what I, as her boyfriend, can do to help her get through what sounds like a very hard challenge.
What is it like?
What kind of stresses will she be going through?
What, if anything, can I do to relieve those stresses, even if only a little?
Obviously since I am not in the nursing profession, I lack perspective on what it's truly like. Is there any way I can get a hint of understanding? Of the program, and of nursing in general?
An optional second question: I hear that nursing is an extremely high-stress job. What with the enormous responsibility that comes with essentially holding someone's life in your hands, and the attachment that comes with caring fro your patients. Combined with long hours, large workloads, etc. If it turns out that God has in His plans for us to get married, what can I do to support and help her through these aspects of her career?
Thank you all for your time!
Fred, you sound like a caring, sweet guy.
Nursing school is hard because it rewires your thinking for prioritization and takes up a lot more time than other programs. And by that, I don't mean studying time (although there is a ton of that), but class and clinical time.
Helping around the house/apartment/dorm is huge. Get her food, help her with random chores. Get her her favorite school supplies. (Seriously, nursing students geek out on school and organizational products). And never be demanding of her time. She will feel stretched thin already.
As for nursing itself being hard... Well, it is. We encounter people on the worst days of their lives, watch their families react to it, and advocate as best we can for a good outcome. And that's on a good day. We're expected to do a lot with very little, we may not have coworkers who are supportive, and at the end of the day, we can't just go home, open a beer, and vent about the things we've seen. Two reasons - one, HIPAA, and two, chances are we don't have enough time to actually get a good "night's" sleep before we go back for more. "Only" three shifts a week feels like a lot more than that, I assure you.
You know what, though? If you take the average of it all, it's pretty freaking awesome what we do in any given shift. Most of us take incredible pride in all we do, and actually enjoy our jobs, good, bad or ugly. She will have days when she comes home crying. She will have days when she comes home knowing she is a rock star. But every single day, she will know she made an impact on another person's life. EVERY DAY. Not many professions come with intrinsic rewards like that.
You do what you have to. I worked FT (nursing school nights and weekends, so it took twice as long), ran EMS 36 on call hours a week, had/have a husband and four kids at home. You learn to prioritize! I was not the BEST student in the class, but I graduated, passed both NCLEX's on the first try and landed great nursing jobs since then though =)
Ummmm fyi, I don't think most people could have done that!
Thank you for all the advice from everyone. I think I've gahered all I can here. The final lesson was to never, under any circumstance, visit an online forum ever again.
Like most have stated, she'll have to go through the experience on her own. At the same time, you have to focus on your studies as well. You can both be each other's cheerleaders, motivating one another to succeed. Being patient and understanding is the best way to go. Best of luck.
I'm going into my last semester before I get to sit for my boards and I'll be a male nurse so I hope I can help answer some of these questions as best as I can.
1.) What is it like?
Honestly, it's been one of the most stressful experiences of my life so far. Not just clinical and patient care wise but the amount of information they throw at you, especially in such a condensed amount of time and to be prepared to take a test on it within the next week while taking another test in another class the same week and so forth and always my biggest fear is the do or die finals were if you don't get a certain percentage on the final, your failed on the spot regardless that you have a 100% in the class; however, I'm not sure if every program out there does this.
2.) What kind of stresses will she be going through?
A lot but it's hard to say what exactly because everyone experiences stress differently. If she can handle it and has the ability to cope with the stresses, she'll make a great student and even a nurse.
3.) What, if anything, can I do to relieve those stresses, even if only a little?
I tend to make flashcards for myself and ask my girlfriend to help me study. I understand she's busy and has classes and work to take care of as well but every little bit she helps me and even if it's just 30 minutes or going through my stack of flashcards at least once, it really helps. Also, if your living together I'm sure it would be a huge help if you helped alternate between cooking meals as I wish I would have done this first semester because I tend to always eat on the go.
Also, if it doesn't hurt try to figure out her schedule like when tests are, when clinical's are, when check-offs are, study hours, etc. I say this because this could save some frustration and give you an understanding how busy nursing students actually can be. Personally, I'd think this save me so much time on my end arguing with my girlfriend on why I can't spend Valentine's Day with her or why I can't take her out on our anniversary and have to postpone it till later in the week because perhaps I have like three tests that week including two clinical's including clinical paperwork, virtual hospital, check-off, work, my extracurricular activities, etc.
YOU'RE, YOU'LL, YOU'RE. We use grown up words on AN, please!!
Speak for yourself. I, personally, am in the process of creating a whole new vernacular for this place. It will be ahhhmazing. And every word will be two letters, tops.
Speak for yourself. I, personally, am in the process of creating a whole new vernacular for this place. It will be ahhhmazing. And every word will be two letters, tops.
OMG!!! That would be epic ixchel!! Let me know when you have completed that!!
I feel really bad for OP after going through the first two pages of this thread.
OP, I finished nursing school not too long ago and this is what I can share:
I am an excellent student. Got A's in my pre-nursing courses mostly without trying too hard (exception of Anatomy II ) and really breezed through everything. At first I did the same with nursing school, but when I got heavy into med surg, it kicked my bum. No longer could I study the day before the exam and know it well enough; I had to start immediately after each lecture, going through and taking notes and making sure I stayed caught up. Clinicals were technically zero credit hours, but they took up so much time they may as well have been a class. Between picking up patients the day before, doing pre-clinical paperwork, going the next day, and then doing post-clinical paperwork, it was a 2 day a week commitment on top of my classes.
So point blank, I had no time my last year of nursing school. I'd want to clean up my room/bathroom once a week and could only find the time to do it once a month at best. I'd wear every piece of clothing until it was all dirty to avoid having to do weekly laundry. I was also working PRN at a local hospital, so it only compounded the stress. My boyfriend and I were long distance at that point as he finished up some of his schooling in another state, and what he did that I found so wonderful was just being there. Even if we couldn't watch a movie together or play a game together, simply being on call with each other via Skype was enough to make me feel like we weren't abandoning each other. We both tried to organize family and friends time around time with each other so that everything stayed in balance and we got to be there for one another as much as possible. For example, weekends were stressful for me because I worked most Saturdays and my unit exams were always on Mondays. On Sunday, the entire day went to studying for the Monday exam, and my boyfriend knew this and would routinely do his own homework that day and then go out with his friends at night.
Now that I'm working as a nurse, he always asks me how my day was when I get home and lets me rant a little. He does the dishes for me, and I do our laundry on my days off (I have a LOT more free time now that I'm good and settled in as a nurse!). We clean the house together. When he knows I've got to be at work the next day, he'll hang out with me when I get off work until I go to bed. He offers to go get me food if I don't feel like cooking, and then makes sure I stay on track with getting in bed. Even though we don't sleep at the same time, he always comes in and lies down with me and scratches my back to help me relax/make me sleepy.
Obviously, the two of us are extremely close. We both enjoy a lot of independence while still kind of revolving around each other, and we like it that way. Don't let other people make you feel guilty about your relationship with your girlfriend. What some people find smothering and clingy, others find natural and comforting. It's all good as long as she's on the same page with you and neither of you are giving up study time for time with each other (school comes first! always!). Good luck with your relationship and your studies :).
) and really breezed through everything. At first I did the same with nursing school, but when I got heavy into med surg, it kicked my bum. No longer could I study the day before the exam and know it well enough; I had to start immediately after each lecture, going through and taking notes and making sure I stayed caught up. Clinicals were technically zero credit hours, but they took up so much time they may as well have been a class. Between picking up patients the day before, doing pre-clinical paperwork, going the next day, and then doing post-clinical paperwork, it was a 2 day a week commitment on top of my classes.
ixchel
4,547 Posts
Fred, you sound like a caring, sweet guy.
Nursing school is hard because it rewires your thinking for prioritization and takes up a lot more time than other programs. And by that, I don't mean studying time (although there is a ton of that), but class and clinical time.
Helping around the house/apartment/dorm is huge. Get her food, help her with random chores. Get her her favorite school supplies. (Seriously, nursing students geek out on school and organizational products). And never be demanding of her time. She will feel stretched thin already.
As for nursing itself being hard... Well, it is. We encounter people on the worst days of their lives, watch their families react to it, and advocate as best we can for a good outcome. And that's on a good day. We're expected to do a lot with very little, we may not have coworkers who are supportive, and at the end of the day, we can't just go home, open a beer, and vent about the things we've seen. Two reasons - one, HIPAA, and two, chances are we don't have enough time to actually get a good "night's" sleep before we go back for more. "Only" three shifts a week feels like a lot more than that, I assure you.
You know what, though? If you take the average of it all, it's pretty freaking awesome what we do in any given shift. Most of us take incredible pride in all we do, and actually enjoy our jobs, good, bad or ugly. She will have days when she comes home crying. She will have days when she comes home knowing she is a rock star. But every single day, she will know she made an impact on another person's life. EVERY DAY. Not many professions come with intrinsic rewards like that.