I Want To Support My Pre-Nursing Student Girlfriend. Please Help!

Published

Hello all! I am new the the forum. I apologize if this is the wrong place to post a topic such as this.

First, some background. Me and my girlfriend are both 20, and we are both full time students in college. She is going into nursing, and I am going for a bachelor in exercise science.

She will be starting the nursing program in January 2016. I have been researching what being a nurse entails, and what it takes to get through nursing school. I've read about how stressful it is, how hard the long, emotionally taxing shifts are, and how time consuming the nursing program is. Before I go any further, let me just say that you guys are amazing. I simply don't believe I would have the strength to do what you guys do. God bless all of you.

Okay, moving on... The reason I came hear is because I want to support her to the absolute best of my abilities. The problem is, I have no understanding of what nursing school is truly like. Sure, I've read a few blog posts about it, but so what? What I would like from you preferably experienced female nurses, is some advice on what I, as her boyfriend, can do to help her get through what sounds like a very hard challenge.

What is it like?

What kind of stresses will she be going through?

What, if anything, can I do to relieve those stresses, even if only a little?

Obviously since I am not in the nursing profession, I lack perspective on what it's truly like. Is there any way I can get a hint of understanding? Of the program, and of nursing in general?

An optional second question: I hear that nursing is an extremely high-stress job. What with the enormous responsibility that comes with essentially holding someone's life in your hands, and the attachment that comes with caring fro your patients. Combined with long hours, large workloads, etc. If it turns out that God has in His plans for us to get married, what can I do to support and help her through these aspects of her career?

Thank you all for your time!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CTICU.

It's so sweet of you to care so much about her well being in school!

I think the most important thing that you can do for her is to be understanding of her lack of time to devote to you. She will be eating, sleeping, and breathing nursing school. She'll spend long days in lecture and clinical and she'll spend most of the rest of her time studying. There will be days that you will feel like she doesn't care about your relationship or that she thinks nursing school is more important. Nursing school is her baby and she needs to give it all of her attention. Don't take it personally when she can't make time for you.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The fact that you are already looking things up in order to help her is a wonderful sign. I don't have much to offer as far as advice goes because I'm just starting the program myself, but kudos to you. Good luck to both of you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

Sigh.

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with significant others such as yourself. Given the best intent, you are a wonderful, supportive boyfriend/fiancée/husband who only wants to help his girlfriend/fiancée/wife. Given the worst, you may be manipulative, controlling or smothering. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Searching out this forum and creating an account seems (to me) to tilt you toward the "worst" category. In my experience, you have made an extraordinary effort to insert yourself into your girlfriend's educational experience. A place where, quite frankly, you do not belong.

My advice to you if you are of the best of intentions, is to back off. Let your girlfriend experience nursing school. Let her tell you what she needs from you. Do not smother her. Do not monitor her every emotion & action. She and she alone will experience nursing school and clinicals. You have no business being in her business, unless your plan is to smother/control her.

Your job, at this time, is to pursue your own goals in exercise science. You do your thing and she will do hers. You as a couple will meet in the middle as equals.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
The fact that you are already looking things up in order to help her is a wonderful sign. I don't have much to offer as far as advice goes because I'm just starting the program myself, but kudos to you. Good luck to both of you!

Aaaahhhhh, no.

The he fact that he is "looking things up in order to help her" can be a truly ominous sign. Not saying that the OP is bad, just that this can be a truly sinister sign of control issues.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sigh.

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with significant others such as yourself. Given the best focus, you are a wonderful, supportive boyfriend/fiancée/husband who only wants to help his girlfriend/fiancée/wife. Given the worst, you may be manipulative, controlling or smothering. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Searching out this forum and creating an account seems (to me) to tilt you toward the "worst" category. In my experience, you have made an extraordinary effort to insert yourself into your girlfriend's educational experience. A place where, quite frankly, you do not belong.

My advice to you if you are of the best of intentions, is to back off. Let your girlfriend experience nursing school. Let her tell you what she needs from you. Do not smother her. Do not monitor her every emotion & action. She and she alone will experience nursing school and clinicals. You have no business being in her business, unless your plan is to smother/control her.

Your job, at this time, is to pursue your own goals in exercise science. You do your thing and she will do hers. You as a couple will meet in the middle as equals.

I thank you for your points regarding not smothering her. It is a valuable insight.

As for your various pre-suppositions about my character and motives, I will not dignify them with a response.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
I thank you for your points regarding not smothering her. It is a valuable insight.

As for your various pre-suppositions about my character and motives, I will not dignify them with a response.

And that's fine. I am only speaking from my experience. You may be (and I hope you are) a knight in shining armor. Experience tells me that knights are few and far between.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

Nursing school is not that bad. When I read threads like the OP, I feel like people have a really skewed idea of what it entails. It's nursing school, not an MD residency. Yeah, she'll be busy, but not *that* busy. Just buy her dinner once a week, and understand when she has to study for a test.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

As PP said, it's not like MD residencies. We can actually maintain a social life with time management. I still have plenty of time to rewatch The Office and Archer, as well as travel on the weekends. You can lend a listening ear when needed, but I don't feel that it will require some heavy intervention to pull her away from her studies to spend time wih you every now and then. JMHO

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Department.
Nursing school is not that bad. When I read threads like the OP, I feel like people have a really skewed idea of what it entails. It's nursing school, not an MD residency. Yeah, she'll be busy, but not *that* busy. Just buy her dinner once a week, and understand when she has to study for a test.

Exactly. Just let her study when she needs to. When I told my partner to get lost so I could do work, he did.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Oh, well... thanks guys. It just seemed from the few minutes I spent on it that the nursing program was, like, REALLY hard. Looks like I was just over-estimating it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Department.
Oh, well... thanks guys. It just seemed from the few minutes I spent on it that the nursing program was, like, REALLY hard. Looks like I was just over-estimating it.

It is hard. But really there is nothing you can do besides letting her get her work done. She will need to study, attend clinicals, complete care plans; these are not tasks you are able to assist her with.

All you can do is be understanding that school is her priority & not act as a distraction.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion