I am not proud of my track record.

[STARL]

Where do begin? I have been an LPN for 1 year in 2 months and unfortunately during this period I have had 5! nursing jobs. yes 5.

(1) I started off in a nursing home, just to find my niche I didn't like it but I needed a form of income and I needed some experience in the field. Two months in the DON called me and said, he thinks that its best that he let me go. He didn't give me a specific reason, but during my orientation the nurses that trained me had to evaluate how I was doing, so I assumed that did not do well during orientation. Like I said, I did not like the nursing home, I had 30-32 patients to care for and I just did not feel safe nor happy.

(2) My second job was in a pediatric home health, I was working for a family and one of the orders called for me to put cotton ball in the little boy's ears as he had surgery 2 days before. Well, I did put cotton ball in my patient ear but I had soaked and drained it with H.Peroxide. Well, the next day the family called the agency and said I put a wet cotton ball in the boys ears. The order stated for me to cleaned around the boy's ear with a cotton tip and H.peroxide and then placed a cotton ball in his ear. My mistake was I misunderstood what the outgoing nurse was telling me before she left about the patient new orders. My fault. It was a med error and the agency said I cannot work for them unless I complete a med error CEU. I never completed it, so never went back to work for them. Although, 6 months later they were still calling me to come work for them because they need nurses so bad. I didn't the patients they assign me usually live 45-50 minutes away and I just couldn't put myself through that again.

(3) My third job was a nursing home again. This lasted a month and a few weeks. I mentioned that I do not like the nursing home. I don't. But my mom work in this particular nursing home and she gave told the DON about me. Well, since my mom has been there for 5 years and a good worker they hired me. Well, I had so much patient work load that I did not do my treatments, although I charted that I did. This led to me having a meeting with the DON and 4 other people in administration. I was so nervous at that meeting that I told myself that I never want to be in such a position again. I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and just incompetent as a nurse. I was first suspended, but then let go. They informed me that they would report me to the BON. well it's been 8 months, have not gotten anything from the BON and I've checked my license online and it says I'm in good standing no complaints.

(4) My fourth job was at a pediatric clinic. i did not like it much as I felt I was losing many of my skills. I mostly gave immunizations to babies and worked on the doctor's schedule for the week. I worked there for 4 months but then i had to leave due to the fact that I started an RN program and the schedule would conflict with my work schedule. The manager loved me, got great reviews from them. I still felt bad though due to my recent firing. My self esteem just plummeted and Im still feeling like somethings wrong with me. Anyways, I did not get fired from this job, I left due to school.

(5) I am currently working for 2 agencies. one is a pediatric agency and the other is a pediatric and adult agency. Well, yesterday I got fired from the pediatric agency. The reason is I document that I left at my scheduled time when in reality I left 30 minutes early three time. Did I think they would find out? yeah. Did I think it was an issue. I did. I literally cannot figure out any reason as to why I charted that I left at 0700 when in reality I left at 0630. At the other agency I work for, one of the parents always let me leave early and she said I can still write down the time I left as the time I was scheduled. in my head, I started to think it was no longer a big deal so i did it with this agency. I know in nursing school they teach us not to do this, I hate that I'm not abiding by the things that I was taught in school and letting others influence my judgement. I knew it was a big deal and I did it anyway. I'm sure the other nurses that work with the pediatric/adult agency leave early but chart their scheduled time cause the guardian (mom) said its ok. Anyways, got called into the office today and I was let go. It is considered insurance fraud. in total I lied and said I worked 1 hour and 30 minutes. The DON were saying that the insurance company might not think its a big deal they might just say "oh, its only 1 hour and let it go. they do not think that I was trying to be malicious. but they have to report it to the BON. Two of the times I left, the patient had an appointment in the morning so he had to leave at 0530 but I charted that I left at 0600. the other time I left early is when I emailed the agency saying that I can now work 12 hours form 7pm-7am. well it wasn't suppose to start that particular week, but the following cause I have nursing clinical in the morning. Hence I left at 0630 but charted i left at 7. The DON was saying it all depends on how the BON choose to handle it.

I do not know what's wrong with me. I've never been fired before until I started nursing. I'm a few months from graduating an RN program and I still cannot get my act together. I want to treat this as a lesson learned. I'm feeling stupid cause I've been fired so many times. I'm still working for the pediatric/adult agency but I am going to chart the correct time that I leave, at the end of the day the I have to protect my license no one else. Does anyone know how long it will take for the BON to contact me? will they make a big deal over 1 hour and 30 minutes? My first year of nursing was rough. I take full responsibility. I am so embarrassed that I created another account to write this although my other account is not even lay real name. I need to remember all the handwork I put in into obtaining my license and not let it go so easily. What's wrong with me? I just do not think that I am learning from my mistakes as a normal human being would.

[WereBadger]

I already planned on leaving the job.

One of the reasons I love nursing is that we're constantly given opportunities for learning, growing and developing our practice. If I had a weakness pointed out to me, I would do what I could to remedy it because I believe in my practice and my future as a safe/ competent nurse. Shrugging your shoulders and moving on to another job, rather than doing the more difficult work of tackling an identified issue, makes me wonder if nursing is where you truly want to be.

[SunnyPupRN]

Maybe honesty is something you are lacking. Charting that you left on time when in reality you left early and charting that you gave that treatment when in reality you did not. Soon it will be the IV cardiac meds that you charted as given but then did not, and whoops patient is dead.

Look for some local ethics classes.....

She seems to know the difference between what is ethical and unethical, though, don't you think? It just appears that for some reason she is willing to knowingly cross those lines. It would be interesting to know if this is happening in other areas of her life.

[quazar]

Okay, aside from the glaringly obvious, what really jumps out at me after reading this OP is that you seem to be engaging in almost a sort of self-sabotage here. You demonstrate self awareness when it comes to the realization that you are a poor nurse, you admit that you consciously made the decisions to commit the fraudulent charting you did, and you have walked away from a job without any attempt at reconciliation (not completing the med error CEU) to save your job.

What's really going on here? I'm serious. There are some deeper issues at play here, and I really really REALLY think you would benefit from maybe seeing a professional and discussing this at length. Something is going on here that hasn't got a thing to do with nursing. You know exactly what you're doing, which is blatantly destroying your chance at any sort of a future in nursing, and yet you continue on this destructive path. There is something else at play here, and I think it's time to take a hard look at just exactly what that is.

Please leave nursing, if for nothing else than for the sake of innocent patients that you will surely end up harming very seriously, possibly killing. That's not hyperbole; in nursing, negligence can kill. Think of what kind of nurse YOU would want taking care of YOU when you were at your most vulnerable. Walk away from nursing now, and please, get some mental health assistance.

Best of luck to you.

[CanadianAbroad]

This seems like a troll post. If not, my god you need to get your **** together before you kill someone. Your blatant disregard to the errors you have made, and your blase attitude, make me extremely thankful you are not my nurse. Med errors are serious. Falsification of treatment records, could be deadly. Those simple treatments, could be a skin wound that could end up turning someone septic. I have seen this happen more than once. Just because you say you feel bad and guilty, does not mean you should be practicing nursing. If you cannot handle being an LPN, how in the darn hell will you handle the added responsibilities of being a nurse? This is the first time I have ever said this to someone.....perhaps you should rethink your profession to save yourself from jail, and save someone from dying.

[mimibrown, ADN, BSN]

It's ok to not be a nurse. You are making pretty big mistakes. Your next one can really harm a patient. I think you should think long and hard about your abilities to do this job.

[magslu]

Starl

I am sorry for the multitude of negative responses you are receiving on the board here. I also have been blasted by them. I am new to nursing also, I also moved to different agencies, facilities looking for my right fit as well.

I do not think there is anything wrong with you. You were not careful, should have read the doctors orders and not relied on the out going nurse to tell you everything. Keep in mind as I have found, not many nurses will help you and I hope you can decipher this by the reactions you receive on the board here.

You need to be CAREFUL, with home care, you have the time to read those orders !!!

I agree, the facility is dangerous as it is bulked with too many patients and not enough time or staff. I don't care what anyone says on this board. Too bad the nurses do not stick together to report the dangerous conditions for the patients and the staff. However, everyone is so afraid to lose a job !!!

I remember meeting my trainer at the facility I oriented with, she was employed for 5 years there and it is still a mystery to me, why she would want to work the way she did. She guzzled a lunch in 5 minutes, no peeing or taking a sip of water the entire shift. I find it inhumane, to be subjected to this day after day.

I think you are smart to take that bridge to RN, there are more options for you. Just let your mistakes be a learning experience. The nurses here have made them as well, we are human and not perfect. However, you will encounter this mentality of being criticized. Remember !! be CAREFUL you have human lives in your hands !! there is nothing at all wrong with you, you are new !!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Starl

I am sorry for the multitude of negative responses you are receiving on the board here. I also have been blasted by them. I am new to nursing also, I also moved to different agencies, facilities looking for my right fit as well.

I do not think there is anything wrong with you. You were not careful, should have read the doctors orders and not relied on the out going nurse to tell you everything. Keep in mind as I have found, not many nurses will help you and I hope you can decipher this by the reactions you receive on the board here.

You need to be CAREFUL, with home care, you have the time to read those orders !!!

I agree, the facility is dangerous as it is bulked with too many patients and not enough time or staff. I don't care what anyone says on this board. Too bad the nurses do not stick together to report the dangerous conditions for the patients and the staff. However, everyone is so afraid to lose a job !!!

I remember meeting my trainer at the facility I oriented with, she was employed for 5 years there and it is still a mystery to me, why she would want to work the way she did. She guzzled a lunch in 5 minutes, no peeing or taking a sip of water the entire shift. I find it inhumane, to be subjected to this day after day.

I think you are smart to take that bridge to RN, there are more options for you. Just let your mistakes be a learning experience. The nurses here have made them as well, we are human and not perfect. However, you will encounter this mentality of being criticized. Remember !! be CAREFUL you have human lives in your hands !! there is nothing at all wrong with you, you are new !!

No one here is perfect, and I haven't seen anyone claim to be perfect. We all make mistakes. The OP isn't making mistakes, however. She is deciding to lie, to falsify documentation, to steal time. What she is doing is criminal. She knows that and does it anyway. Any ethical and honorable person would condemn that sort of behavior. The fact that you also don't seem to see that much of a problem in it makes me wonder about YOUR ethics and honesty.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I really want to be the best nurse that I can. I hated to admit it to myself, but I think that I am a bad nurse. I did not go into this profession to act like this and I do not know why. I want to get better, I feel like I can do better. I've done some things that Im not proud of. It was so hard to write this, but I decided to because I need help. I was thinking of looking into insurance nursing where I'm not at the bedside, but you need experience for those jobs and i'm still a new nurse. I don't know how the BON will respond when they do send out the complaint.

Since you seem to have a proclivity for shooting yourself in the foot, has anyone recommended therapy yet? Some of these issues need to be worked out with a professional.

Meanwhile, if you want to be the best nurse you can be, you have to make up your mind to develop and abide by a moral compass. You chart only what you actually did, log only the hours you actually worked, for starters.

Good luck getting yourself sorted out.

[Davey Do]

Since you seem to have a proclivity for shooting yourself in the foot...

Pretty profound interpretation there, TrciaJ.

Richard Bach wrote Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”

That concept kind of makes us responsible, doesn't it?

[HeySis, BSN, RN]

Wow.... I mean I read every response from OP and just kept on saying out loud "Wow!"

I wouldn't hire you, I wouldn't want to work on your team, and I definitely don't want you taking care of anyone I know, actually anyone.

And the

I already planned on leaving the job.

Is no excuse, you were given an opportunity to improve yourself and learn from your mistake, even if you were planning on leaving, you should have done this first, then given a proper notice.

Everyone makes mistakes... but you seem to defiantly be telling your employers "to he** with your rules and policies" and think they should still give you nursing jobs.

Before this I had no complaint with the company, they even gave me a raise literally 3 weeks prior because the DON said I was doing well with the company. When I went in for my meeting, the DON was saying how she thought I was a good nurse and because the company has a "0" tolerance policy on fraud she has to let me go.

But this

I document that I left at my scheduled time when in reality I left 30 minutes early three time. ...I know in nursing school they teach us not to do this, I hate that I'm not abiding by the things that I was taught in school and letting others influence my judgement. I knew it was a big deal and I did it anyway.

You said

Where do begin?

I wonder the same thing.

Can I say again, wow!

[Mommavik, ADN]

The thing that worries me is charting meds or treatments as being done which you did not do; I've been in that position working in a nursing home with way too many patients to give meds and do treatments impossible to complete in the time I was there; the problem with falsifying the records for that (besides being illegal) is that the person following you might be able to do that treatment or give that medication if they are made aware (either you tell them or they see in the record it wasn't done) because that patient may have bad consequences if it isn't done. Helping people is why you wanted to be a nurse; you should think before any kind of decision like this what your patient's consequences will be. Signing out early may not seem like a "big deal" but if something happened because you were not there when you said you were it would be a horrible thing to have to live with. I don't want tomake you feel worse than you do but I agree that you need to find out why you're making these poor choices and until then there are other types of work in which you can be of service to help people without the possible consequences in nursing.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

The thing I don't hear you mentioning and that concerns me more than anything else is what the patients suffered because of you. The care and interventions they did not receive. THIS is the part that tells me you should not be a nurse. I realize you feel like you worked hard for your license and you don't "think" you should be held accountable for what you refer to as 1.5 hours. I can promise you, the BON won't care what you think. Their job is to protect the public. If I knew who you are I would personally be filing a report against you and I suspect I am not alone.

We all want to think of ourselves as being a good person. Unfortunately whether or not you are comes down to what you do, not what you say, not what you feel. I don't read any expressed guilt in your posts and there should be oodles of it. Tons. It should be dripping from the words. Your perspective is one of getting caught and convenience. Why take remedial education if you are just quitting that job anyway? Because you are a nurse and you will be giving meds at your next job. It is for YOU not for the company. Get it? YOU are the problem. Not the job.

We aren't going to convince you to get out of nursing. The BON will likely have to do that for you. If you weren't willing to do the easy work of remedial medication education you definitely aren't going to be up for the kind of soul busting work it will take for you to actually internalize what you did to these poor people who were trusting you, employers and patients alike. But rest assured, if they throw the book at you, you do deserve it, whether you "feel" you do or not. These are not 'oopsie, my bad" moments you have had, but that is how you are approaching them.

Please. I am begging you. Get out of nursing. Go do something else.