I am not proud of my track record.

[STARL]

Where do begin? I have been an LPN for 1 year in 2 months and unfortunately during this period I have had 5! nursing jobs. yes 5.

(1) I started off in a nursing home, just to find my niche I didn't like it but I needed a form of income and I needed some experience in the field. Two months in the DON called me and said, he thinks that its best that he let me go. He didn't give me a specific reason, but during my orientation the nurses that trained me had to evaluate how I was doing, so I assumed that did not do well during orientation. Like I said, I did not like the nursing home, I had 30-32 patients to care for and I just did not feel safe nor happy.

(2) My second job was in a pediatric home health, I was working for a family and one of the orders called for me to put cotton ball in the little boy's ears as he had surgery 2 days before. Well, I did put cotton ball in my patient ear but I had soaked and drained it with H.Peroxide. Well, the next day the family called the agency and said I put a wet cotton ball in the boys ears. The order stated for me to cleaned around the boy's ear with a cotton tip and H.peroxide and then placed a cotton ball in his ear. My mistake was I misunderstood what the outgoing nurse was telling me before she left about the patient new orders. My fault. It was a med error and the agency said I cannot work for them unless I complete a med error CEU. I never completed it, so never went back to work for them. Although, 6 months later they were still calling me to come work for them because they need nurses so bad. I didn't the patients they assign me usually live 45-50 minutes away and I just couldn't put myself through that again.

(3) My third job was a nursing home again. This lasted a month and a few weeks. I mentioned that I do not like the nursing home. I don't. But my mom work in this particular nursing home and she gave told the DON about me. Well, since my mom has been there for 5 years and a good worker they hired me. Well, I had so much patient work load that I did not do my treatments, although I charted that I did. This led to me having a meeting with the DON and 4 other people in administration. I was so nervous at that meeting that I told myself that I never want to be in such a position again. I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and just incompetent as a nurse. I was first suspended, but then let go. They informed me that they would report me to the BON. well it's been 8 months, have not gotten anything from the BON and I've checked my license online and it says I'm in good standing no complaints.

(4) My fourth job was at a pediatric clinic. i did not like it much as I felt I was losing many of my skills. I mostly gave immunizations to babies and worked on the doctor's schedule for the week. I worked there for 4 months but then i had to leave due to the fact that I started an RN program and the schedule would conflict with my work schedule. The manager loved me, got great reviews from them. I still felt bad though due to my recent firing. My self esteem just plummeted and Im still feeling like somethings wrong with me. Anyways, I did not get fired from this job, I left due to school.

(5) I am currently working for 2 agencies. one is a pediatric agency and the other is a pediatric and adult agency. Well, yesterday I got fired from the pediatric agency. The reason is I document that I left at my scheduled time when in reality I left 30 minutes early three time. Did I think they would find out? yeah. Did I think it was an issue. I did. I literally cannot figure out any reason as to why I charted that I left at 0700 when in reality I left at 0630. At the other agency I work for, one of the parents always let me leave early and she said I can still write down the time I left as the time I was scheduled. in my head, I started to think it was no longer a big deal so i did it with this agency. I know in nursing school they teach us not to do this, I hate that I'm not abiding by the things that I was taught in school and letting others influence my judgement. I knew it was a big deal and I did it anyway. I'm sure the other nurses that work with the pediatric/adult agency leave early but chart their scheduled time cause the guardian (mom) said its ok. Anyways, got called into the office today and I was let go. It is considered insurance fraud. in total I lied and said I worked 1 hour and 30 minutes. The DON were saying that the insurance company might not think its a big deal they might just say "oh, its only 1 hour and let it go. they do not think that I was trying to be malicious. but they have to report it to the BON. Two of the times I left, the patient had an appointment in the morning so he had to leave at 0530 but I charted that I left at 0600. the other time I left early is when I emailed the agency saying that I can now work 12 hours form 7pm-7am. well it wasn't suppose to start that particular week, but the following cause I have nursing clinical in the morning. Hence I left at 0630 but charted i left at 7. The DON was saying it all depends on how the BON choose to handle it.

I do not know what's wrong with me. I've never been fired before until I started nursing. I'm a few months from graduating an RN program and I still cannot get my act together. I want to treat this as a lesson learned. I'm feeling stupid cause I've been fired so many times. I'm still working for the pediatric/adult agency but I am going to chart the correct time that I leave, at the end of the day the I have to protect my license no one else. Does anyone know how long it will take for the BON to contact me? will they make a big deal over 1 hour and 30 minutes? My first year of nursing was rough. I take full responsibility. I am so embarrassed that I created another account to write this although my other account is not even lay real name. I need to remember all the handwork I put in into obtaining my license and not let it go so easily. What's wrong with me? I just do not think that I am learning from my mistakes as a normal human being would.

[ItsThatJenGirl, CNA]

So you're saying you never made mistakes at all as a nurse, hmm?

Which of these is a "mistake"?

Charting that you've completed procedures that you haven't isn't a mistake, it's a lie.

Charting that you're leaving later than you are isn't a mistake, it's also a lie (and stealing).

And finally, not going to a med error CEU to keep your job wasn't a mistake, it was a decision (a bad one).

Until you're able to see that it's your repeatedly poor choices that have put you into this position, rather than mistakes, misunderstandings or happenstance, you're going to continue to fail.

When you're the responsible for the lives of other people, you have to follow the rules. They are there for a reason.

[sevensonnets]

Nitpicking my words won't help your case, STARL. I've worked in cardiac intensive care/open heart for almost 37 years, so I'm obviously doing something right. You have been offered good advice from experienced nurses who have pointed out the obvious to you but you prefer to forge your own path. Good luck with that!

[Wuzzie]

I don't think you understood my comment. I know that fraud is WRONG. Did I know it was fraud at the time? not necessarily. I didn't think it was on the level that it was, such as involving insurance companies and everything else that goes into it. Now that I know what's all involve and seeing the big picture, will I do it again. "NO" I worked too hard to obtain my license and I am not going to lose so easily.

And there's the problem. You shouldn't not commit fraud because of how it could affect you. You shouldn't commit fraud because it's WRONG!!! Your thought processes are bordering on sociopathic. That being said I don't think you are a total lost cause given that you have at least a hint of willingness to do some introspection but the first thing you need to realize is there is no excuse whatsoever for all of the things you've done. None! Nada! You did some extremely bad things and I'm not overstating it. Not one of them was a mistake. Every single incident was a conscious decision on your part to do the wrong thing. You need to figure out what part of your personality allowed this to happen and fix it before you hurt someone.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Which of these is a "mistake"?

Charting that you've completed procedures that you haven't isn't a mistake, it's a lie.

Charting that you're leaving later than you are isn't a mistake, it's also a lie (and stealing).

And finally, not going to a med error CEU to keep your job wasn't a mistake, it was a decision (a bad one).

Until you're able to see that it's your repeatedly poor choices that have put you into this position, rather than mistakes, misunderstandings or happenstance, you're going to continue to fail.

When you're the responsible for the lives of other people, you have to follow the rules. They are there for a reason.

Lying, stealing and repeated bad decisions make one a poor nurse. In fact, it could be argued that one shouldn't even BE a nurse if one has a habit of lying and stealing.

[STARL]

[/b]

And there's the problem. You shouldn't not commit fraud because of how it could affect you. You shouldn't commit fraud because it's WRONG!!! Your thought processes are bordering on sociopathic. That being said I don't think you are a total lost cause given that you have at least a hint of willingness to do some introspection but the first thing you need to realize is there is no excuse whatsoever for all of the things you've done. None! Nada! You did some extremely bad things and I'm not overstating it. Not one of them was a mistake. Every single incident was a conscious decision on your part to do the wrong thing. You need to figure out what part of your personality allowed this to happen and fix it before you hurt someone.

I am not saying what I have done was a mistake. I understand that what I did was wrong. This is why I created this thread hoping to get some advice to talk to someone about it because I was feeling so terrible. With that said, this was a wake up call. I'm going to try to better myself as a nurse. I don't want to be a "bad nurse" otherwise, I will just leave the profession altogether. I'm going to continue working with the patient that I'm working with now and hopefully obtain another case as I continue to support myself through school. In no way am I minimizing my actions, it was wrong. point.blank. period. I don't want to put others live in jeopardy nor do want to have such actions weighing heavy on my conscious. I'm going to wait on the BON response and hopefully move on from this.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Why the heck did you not do the med error CEU? That was a simple thing you were asked to do, an easy way to repair your working relationship, and you could have learned some valuable things on top of it.

If you weren't willing to do such a reasonable and simple thing, I really don't know what to tell you. It doesn't bode well for a good future for you in nursing.

[STARL]

Why the heck did you not do the med error CEU? That was a simple thing you were asked to do, an easy way to repair your working relationship, and you could have learned some valuable things on top of it.

If you weren't willing to do such a reasonable and simple thing, I really don't know what to tell you. It doesn't bode well for a good future for you in nursing.

I already planned on leaving the job.

[SunnyPupRN]

I'm not one to tell others what to do, but I think there's a part of you that is making the decision for you already. If things continue this way, you could be banned from participating with any program that participates in Medicare or Medicaid, and not just the patients, but the agency or hospital completely.

[SunnyPupRN]

The first time, within your first year, hedging your bets that BON doesnt know about what else you did. On one hand you say you understand the seriousness, and on the other, you minimize the consequences as if it will all somehow work out. If I'm honest, I'd say your words sound like those of an addict, repeating the same mistakes, taking great risks, minimizing the consequences, and repeatedly saying 'Next time I'll won't do this." I'm not saying you ARE an addict, I'm saying the thinking pattern is similar, and you are right...it's odd, and it would be a good thing to understand why this behaviour is occurring before you or someone in your care gets hurt. Consider booking a therapist, and getting to the bottom of why you are sabotaging yourself.

[purplegal]

Wow...and I thought I was having a bad first year as a nurse. I also left my first nursing job, but it was more so to do with the fact that I was not ready for the intensity that my first unit required, not because I was making med errors or falsifying records or even because I didn't like the unit. I understand about not loving your nursing job or not having one that's your first preference, because that's where I'm at. However, that is no excuse for purposely doing things incorrectly. Also, you need to find a way to make a job work for a decent amount of time. If you're doing well with an employer, try staying with them for a while, even if it means delaying your schooling. You need to start building up your resume as well.

As for your jobs:

1. At your first job, you should have asked for specific reasons as to why you were being let go. They should have been providing you with evaluation, but, since you were not hearing about it, you should have mentioned that you were not aware of any concerns. Although employers can fire you for no reason at all, generally there is a reason, and it's in your best interest to find out why.

2. When you are confused about a medication order, you need to ask questions and clarify it before you administer the medication. At my workplace, orders are often entered incorrectly, so I have to ask questions to make sure that what I'm about to do is correct. Also, they did give you a chance to still work with them, you simply had to complete a CEU. If you really want to be a nurse, I am wondering why you did not lack the motivation to complete that CEU.

3. As for not completing treatments at the nursing home, I don't believe that is the biggest issue. I also work at one and we are VERY busy and so sometimes things do not get done and we have to pass them on to the next shift. However, when this happens, you need to chart that it did not get done or if the patient refused, chart that. It's not the fact that you didn't get everything done that's the problem, it's that you charted that you did things when you did not.

4. At any job, there are skills you need to have. So, even though you weren't using ALL of your nursing skills, you were still using some of them. And since you were getting good reviews, this would have been a good job to have on your resume. I know that you were starting school, but maybe it would have been better to delay that in order to have something you would actually want to list on your resume.

5. If the parents were telling you that you could leave early and still chart leaving at the correct time, you should have politely refused, and then reported it to the agency. That way, it would have been on the parents, and not you.

I am sorry that you are struggling to get through your first year. I know first hand how difficult it can be to be let go from a job. I also know that it must be frightening to worry about the BON contacting you, although I don't have my own experience with that. I don't want to say you shouldn't be a nurse, because you very well could make a good one. However, you need to start looking at the reasons you haven't been successful so far. If you know something is unethical, don't do it. If you're leaving because you don't like every single aspect of your job, you'll probably never be satisfied. Find a job that you can establish a good reputation with and stay with them for awhile. If that means delaying your schooling, consider it. Do what you need to do to get back on track.

I'm truly sorry you're having bad experiences, and I hope I do not seem harsh in my post. Best of luck to you.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Maybe honesty is something you are lacking. Charting that you left on time when in reality you left early and charting that you gave that treatment when in reality you did not. Soon it will be the IV cardiac meds that you charted as given but then did not, and whoops patient is dead.

Look for some local ethics classes.....

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

It's not just the admission of so many things done wrong that is disturbing to me, it's the follow up responses that convey the attitude that you really don't think anything you did was too wrong...wrong yes, but not too wrong. Some things have no shades of gray and falsifying nursing documentation and time records are two of those things.

There is no justification that makes this OK, it's not only unprofessional and ethically wrong it is also illegal. If it's not reported by your employer they also would share any legal liability for the committed fraud and I doubt many employers are willing to risk losing medicare/medicaid certification to protect you. Nor should they be expected to, as it is they most likely have to wade through an incredible amount of documentation to just to protect themselves. Terminating your employment and reporting your actions to your states BON are logical steps they would take during the process of proving to the powers that be that the agency is not responsible for or condones your actions.

You need to take a moment and reflect on how serious what you have done really is. There might be possibly serious and maybe even career ending consequences. Then again you may get lucky and have rather minor consequences. I do sincerely hope it is the latter and you are able to recover your career and grow from this. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.