Today I went to open my emails, and was surprised to actually receive an email that one instructor accidently sent to me, that was meant for my other instructor that was written about me. I am really affended and insulted. Please read and advise what you would do in this situation.
This is the email that came to me.........................
To instructor so and so,
The Jane Doe saga starts already. She is very upset that she has not received her package yet, although she hadn't given her new address to you, or the secretary. Look at her reply below and it will already make you start thinking we ave a long year ahead of us!!!
Happy Times!!!
Instructor so and so:)
Ps
I did tell my one instructor my new adress. Instead of her jumping to conclusions shouldn't she have verified this?
This is the message that I sent to her, I am assuming that perhaps I did not make it for the second year, as I don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. Thanks for everything
Take care
Jane Doe
I inquired when I was going to be doing my practicum days for evenings, because all my classmates knew 2 weeks before myself. I feel that she being my instructor for the practicum would know whether or not I was going to be doing it days or evenings. Don't I have the right to ask such questions.
I fear because she has judged me unfairly that it will have a impact on how well I do for the rest of the time at school. It seems as though she has labelled me and I am thinking that she is going to give me a hard time the rest of the year that we have.
Please advise me.
The reason I was feeling anxiety is because it seemed like everything seemed to be like a big run around for me, why would she judge me so harshly and not even know me? She taught us one class in 3 months time. And if she only took the time to know me she would know that I am a quiet sensitive person that sticks to herself and does not like to cause problems for anyone.
I understand what you are saying, now I even feel worse than I felt in the first place, I am terrible, I should have just left it alone in the first place.
That letter was inappropriate on many levels. If you apologize too much for something that was not your fault it may look like you deserve the blame. Just chill.
I think she means you should have left well enough alone.
I don't think so. I don't think she's referring to this situation specifically. She actually said as much.
What's in this thread isn't all there is to the situation. That email didn't arrive out of a void. As inappropriate and immature as it was, there's a reason it was sent. I suspect the professor wants to address that reason, and specifically some patterns of behavior on Tiffany's part that unfortunately lead some people to react as that first professor did.
As I said before, human beings are complicated. Knowing who's right and who's wrong can only take us so far. We have to be able to get along with each other in spite of being right, in spite of being wrong, because each one of us is one or the other in different situations and at different times.
Like I said, tolerance, TRUST, respect, forgiveness, all ways and all around. Then it doesn't matter so much who's wrong and who's right, because no one is either all the time.
I understand what you are saying, now I even feel worse than I felt in the first place, I am terrible, I should have just left it alone in the first place.
Don't be your own worst enemy! Stop it! You reacted in a normal way, don't be hard on yourself. But, please, take that professors advice and look at how your impulsiveness effects others, please.
Stop feeling so terrible. Not that I would mention this in your new homework assignment but, this is a prime example of why people in authority should not be emailing! How horrible to have you read something sent to you by an instructor meant for another instructor regarding you. Save the email!
As far as meeting your instructor and writing down what your going to do instead of flying off the handle, perhaps being honest might help. Let her know that you love nursing and being a part of the program. To receive an email that should have been private was very difficult. I agree with other posters who tell you not to email anymore. Whatever needs to be done can be done in person. We live in an age where emails are sent quickly and oftentimes without thought (not just you, but perhaps the instructor as well). Perhaps she meant another year of endless crud (not necessarily just you, but every student out there as well). Either way, your stuck with this instructor and my advice is to keep your eyes on the reason your there... to become an RN. You just have to make it through this class and then your on to the next. If you get too much grief, you have the email to back you up. This is your time to prove to yourself and your instructor that you are RN material.
I'm so sorry your in a sucky situation Good luck and let us know how it goes.
I understand what you are saying, now I even feel worse than I felt in the first place, I am terrible, I should have just left it alone in the first place.
You aren't terrible, just sensitive and impulsive, you shouldn't have had to deal with this crap in the first place. Leave the situation alone for a few hours and try to think about something else. The instructor who sent the initial message should be feeling like an a$$ right now.
The first email with mention of Jane Doe saga and then the instructors reply requesting a meeting with you and plan of action leads me to believe your hasty email was just the icing on the cake.
Re-read your posts here over the past year. They are always really dramatic, you are "crying", everything is a whole big dramatic event, you lost your notes to your final exam, you can't write a care plan etc. and none of it is ever your fault! Some of your portrayals here must really be over reacting or in my school you would have been removed long ago, but that is good news and means that if you can get control of yourself and work with this instructor things should get better.
Specializes in EMS~ ALS.../...Bartending ~ Psych :).
below is your original e-mail sent to instr. #1.....
"this is the message that i sent to her, i am assuming that perhaps i did not make it for the second year, as i don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. thanks for everything
take care
jane doe"
below is a response to you from instr. #2 whom i am sure read your above e-mail
"at times your anxiety causes your reaction not to match the events.i am not speaking of the dialogue between instructor so and so and yourself.
be careful to stop thoughts before they become actions.you are in control of your thoughts. stop them in their tracks as they will spiral out of control and affect relationships.
i would like to meet with you on your return to discuss. please bring a
list of ideas you have for this year, that will address the above. write
about specific behaviors to work on and a plan for each.
thank-you"
take her first statement "at times your anxiety causes your reaction not to match the events" i think she is referring to your original e-mail. from my reading it is sounds as if you were perhaps due to anxiety "assuming" that you didn't make it to the next year becasue you hadn't heard anything from your instructors. you ended it with a "thanks for everything" and "take care" which both could be "read" as either a "negative" or a "positive" as to where if you had said this in person it would be easy to tell in which context you meant it.
i believe that instr. #1 read that you were being negitive, and it sounded to like you were saying something like this: i am assuming that i didn't pass, since you are taking your sweet time in letting me know anything, because otherwise, i would have known already. so thanks for everything ( i mean thanks for nothing)
take care ( i mean have a nice life).
instr. #2 may have known that what you really meant to say was...
i haven't heard anything yet, and im getting a little anxious, i hope that i didn't fail, i really really really want to be a nurse more than anything. please let me know something soon as you can, i know there issue's arise that we have no control over, but can you at least give me a hint that i will be seeing you in a few weeks??
thanks for everything (i know you are busy)
take care (can't wait to see you)
everything with you and school were okay... you made it to the 2nd year. you just needed to be patient instead of jumping to conclusions, and inquiring about it in an e mail that could have been misinturptered.
i think she wants to talk to you about jumping to conclusions and being patient. just because things don't happen when you want them to happen doesn't mean that you should think the worse. you are not their only student, or their only priorty and they too are trying to enjoy their break. i am sure that instr. #1 has learned a good lesson from this whole ordeal and perhaps you have too. if instr. #2 is willing to teach you life lessons along with nursing then allow her to do it without question, sounds like she is a good person and willing to go the extra mile.
in the mean time smile you made it to your 2nd year!
I don't think so. I don't think she's referring to this situation specifically. She actually said as much.
What's in this thread isn't all there is to the situation. That email didn't arrive out of a void. As inappropriate and immature as it was, there's a reason it was sent. I suspect the professor wants to address that reason, and specifically some patterns of behavior on Tiffany's part that unfortunately lead some people to react as that first professor did.
As I said before, human beings are complicated. Knowing who's right and who's wrong can only take us so far. We have to be able to get along with each other in spite of being right, in spite of being wrong, because each one of us is one or the other in different situations and at different times.
Like I said, tolerance, TRUST, respect, forgiveness, all ways and all around. Then it doesn't matter so much who's wrong and who's right, because no one is either all the time.
Tharem,
I'm struck by the wisdom of the advice you have given the OP. We should all read this post and live it.
Drop all this crap, graduate, and take the NCLEX. And stop panicking. That's what you should do. You're simply fulfilling their prophesy when you get all harried and overreact to every little thing and start seeing conspiracies in your cereal.
I understand what you are saying, now I even feel worse than I felt in the first place, I am terrible, I should have just left it alone in the first place.
This strange email mixup may have forced an important issue for you. Instead of seeing it as a tragedy, try seeing it as a gift.
I think you should do what this professor suggests - meet with her. And when you do - don't go into a defensive, survival mode, and don't beat yourself up either. Just let down your defenses and listen to what she has to say.
I don't believe that anyone is out to get you, and you might find that this could turn out to be a very positive experience. You just have to be open to it.
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Good luck and let us know how it goes.
tiffany311
126 Posts
I understand what you are saying, now I even feel worse than I felt in the first place, I am terrible, I should have just left it alone in the first place.