Today I went to open my emails, and was surprised to actually receive an email that one instructor accidently sent to me, that was meant for my other instructor that was written about me. I am really affended and insulted. Please read and advise what you would do in this situation.
This is the email that came to me.........................
To instructor so and so,
The Jane Doe saga starts already. She is very upset that she has not received her package yet, although she hadn't given her new address to you, or the secretary. Look at her reply below and it will already make you start thinking we ave a long year ahead of us!!!
Happy Times!!!
Instructor so and so:)
Ps
I did tell my one instructor my new adress. Instead of her jumping to conclusions shouldn't she have verified this?
This is the message that I sent to her, I am assuming that perhaps I did not make it for the second year, as I don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. Thanks for everything
Take care
Jane Doe
I inquired when I was going to be doing my practicum days for evenings, because all my classmates knew 2 weeks before myself. I feel that she being my instructor for the practicum would know whether or not I was going to be doing it days or evenings. Don't I have the right to ask such questions.
I fear because she has judged me unfairly that it will have a impact on how well I do for the rest of the time at school. It seems as though she has labelled me and I am thinking that she is going to give me a hard time the rest of the year that we have.
Please advise me.
The reason I was feeling anxiety is because it seemed like everything seemed to be like a big run around for me, why would she judge me so harshly and not even know me? She taught us one class in 3 months time. And if she only took the time to know me she would know that I am a quiet sensitive person that sticks to herself and does not like to cause problems for anyone.
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
tiffany311. . .I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think your biggest problem that gets you into the most trouble is that you talk too much and don't know when to keep quiet.
I don't think you understand how I feel, perhaps if this sort of thing has happened to you, you might understand. And no I don't like talking to much, I am sorry I don't mean any disrespect but that is just not me. I am usually a quiet person and keep to myself.
tiffany311. . .I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think your biggest problem that gets you into the most trouble is that you talk too much and don't know when to keep quiet.
I think she responded in the heat of the moment initially and wanted to apologize. She was stressed and responded too quickly and I don't think her apology emails were too much...nothing wrong with an apology in my opinion. I'm sure the teacher who sent it, if done accidentally, is embarrassed.
tiffany311, maybe in the future (hopefully nothing like this ever comes your way again) wait a day or two before responding...trust me, it makes a HUGE difference in how you respond! Sometimes I would construct an email at the moment and save it as a draft, then I'd go back the next day and say "what was I thinking???" and basically retype the entire thing! A day does make a difference! But I wouldn't worry too much about it...what's done is done and just let it be and see how things go from here.
Dare I ask if you ever got your response you were looking for in the first place?
I don't think you understand how I feel, perhaps if this sort of thing has happened to you, you might understand. And no I don't like talking to much, I am sorry I don't mean any disrespect but that is just not me. I am usually a quiet person and keep to myself.
Tiffany, it's just that since you really don't know the disposition of the parties involved, sometimes it's best not tip your cards too much and too soon. You had already made a response to something that in the first place was not your fault. It is not wise to then trip all over yourself apologizing. You said your piece and you should have sat with it awhile as well as letting them sit with it awhile. However you reacted, you were not in the wrong. That letter was inappropriate on many levels. If you apologize too much for something that was not your fault it may look like you deserve the blame. Just chill.
Here is the reply that I have recieved from one of my instructors not the instructor that sent me the email but whom the email was intended for..........................
thank you for your apology.
the college is changing your HC mark on website from a 54% to a 70%. THere was
mark entry error on their end.I could see how you would be confused as you
were informed you passed but the mark noted other. This change may take a
while- you might want to check to see it has been changed. I would give it
at least a month.
At times your anxiety causes your reaction not to match the events.I am
not speaking of the dialogue between instructor so and so and yourself.
Be careful to stop thoughts before they become actions.You are in control
of your thoughts. Stop them in their tracks as they will spiral out of
control and affect relationships.
I would like to meet with you on your return to discuss. Please bring a
list of ideas you have for this year, that will address the above. Write
about SPECIFIC Behaviors to work on and a plan for each.
Thank-you,
My question is, is this instructor wanting me to do this so she can have me so that the other instuctors fault looks like I was the one that brought all this on?
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
what should I do?
First of all, stop sending any more e-mails. Do exactly what this instructor has instructed you to do. . .
Be careful to stop thoughts before they become actions. You are in control of your thoughts. Stop them in their tracks as they will spiral out of control and affect relationships.
I would like to meet with you on your return to discuss. Please bring a list of ideas you have for this year, that will address the above. Write about SPECIFIC Behaviors to work on and a plan for each.
You opened this door, now you have to address these "specific behaviors" she's talking about. It sounds like she wants to address all this e-mailing. She's not saying it, but it sounds very much like she's alluding to the fact that you must be getting upset without thinking first.
I have stopped emailing. I won't email any more. I am just scared that maybe she wants me to write down such things so that it dismisses the other instructors mistake and make me look like in the wrong.
Honestly I don't believe I was in the wrong, yes you are right think before putting acting is a good lesson. I can work on that.
My question is, is this instructor wanting me to do this so she can have me so that the other instuctors fault looks like I was the one that brought all this on?
what should I do?
No Tiffany311, my impression is that she is trying to help you. She said specifically that she was not referring to the dialog between you and the other professor.
Don't try to over analyze this, because it seems to me that you are biased towards convincing yourself that they're against you, and for whatever tiny, partial, grain of truth there may be to that at this point in time, it is far from advisable or fruitful for you to see that one grain as the entire crop, it will only hurt you and make the situation worse, and it isn't true.
Human beings are complicated and multifaceted and imperfect. You have to be as tolerant, forgiving, and trusting of others as you would like them to be of you. I'm not kidding Tiffany, think about it.
I don't think you understand how I feel, perhaps if this sort of thing has happened to you, you might understand. And no I don't like talking to much, I am sorry I don't mean any disrespect but that is just not me. I am usually a quiet person and keep to myself.
I think she means you should have left well enough alone. The more you write messages to these instructors over the matter, the more foolish you look. Now you are begging their forgiveness for you bothering them with the matter. If you had just forwarded the email in question to the instructor it was meant for and just sat back and watched, you wouldn't have to worry now about how your communications with them make you look. Bringing your husband into the message wasn't very smart either. What do they care what your husband thinks? Emails are a really bad way to communicate things like this; leaves a paper trail that you cannot erase and now you get to fret over it.
Here is the reply that I have recieved from one of my instructors not the instructor that sent me the email but whom the email was intended for..........................
thank you for your apology.
the college is changing your HC mark on website from a 54% to a 70%. THere was
mark entry error on their end.I could see how you would be confused as you
were informed you passed but the mark noted other. This change may take a
while- you might want to check to see it has been changed. I would give it
at least a month.
At times your anxiety causes your reaction not to match the events.I am
not speaking of the dialogue between instructor so and so and yourself.
Be careful to stop thoughts before they become actions.You are in control
of your thoughts. Stop them in their tracks as they will spiral out of
control and affect relationships.
I would like to meet with you on your return to discuss. Please bring a
list of ideas you have for this year, that will address the above. Write
about SPECIFIC Behaviors to work on and a plan for each.
Thank-you,
My question is, is this instructor wanting me to do this so she can have me so that the other instuctors fault looks like I was the one that brought all this on?
what should I do?
I would do what she said. You just gave yourself homework. Yuck. That's what not thinking things through before you acted got you. Now you are officially a special case to them. Get yourself a notebook and start writing, but stay away from the computer keyboard and their email addresses.
Daytonite, BSN, RN
1 Article; 14,604 Posts
tiffany311. . .I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think your biggest problem that gets you into the most trouble is that you talk too much and don't know when to keep quiet.