Today I went to open my emails, and was surprised to actually receive an email that one instructor accidently sent to me, that was meant for my other instructor that was written about me. I am really affended and insulted. Please read and advise what you would do in this situation.
This is the email that came to me.........................
To instructor so and so,
The Jane Doe saga starts already. She is very upset that she has not received her package yet, although she hadn't given her new address to you, or the secretary. Look at her reply below and it will already make you start thinking we ave a long year ahead of us!!!
Happy Times!!!
Instructor so and so:)
Ps
I did tell my one instructor my new adress. Instead of her jumping to conclusions shouldn't she have verified this?
This is the message that I sent to her, I am assuming that perhaps I did not make it for the second year, as I don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. Thanks for everything
Take care
Jane Doe
I inquired when I was going to be doing my practicum days for evenings, because all my classmates knew 2 weeks before myself. I feel that she being my instructor for the practicum would know whether or not I was going to be doing it days or evenings. Don't I have the right to ask such questions.
I fear because she has judged me unfairly that it will have a impact on how well I do for the rest of the time at school. It seems as though she has labelled me and I am thinking that she is going to give me a hard time the rest of the year that we have.
Please advise me.
The reason I was feeling anxiety is because it seemed like everything seemed to be like a big run around for me, why would she judge me so harshly and not even know me? She taught us one class in 3 months time. And if she only took the time to know me she would know that I am a quiet sensitive person that sticks to herself and does not like to cause problems for anyone.
No more emailing to profs- go to the office so you see them face to face, and can get the nonverbal messages. No emailing when you are upset- just face to face interactions.
FYI I wouldn't do that homework assignment because the whole situation needs to be left alone by all three parties. It's over, let it slide, and go to class with a smile on your face and confidence that you will make a great nurse. Maybe, maybe, if the email saga comes up just say "wasn't that crazy? We really got our wires crossed." And move on. You don't want to send a prospective instructor a list of your faults before you ever meet. If she asks just say you regret the whole thing and want to start fresh. (I know it wasn't started by you, but just make nice.)
If your husband is constantly amping up your anxiety consider taking what he says with a grain of salt. I don't know the man, it just seems like he might not have been helping you with this issue.
Uhm.. I think the poster needs support right now and not more of the "blaming" part. She may be experiencing a really hard time now and would be difficult to think really positive things about the situation and towards herself too. We all have our own levels of tolerance, patience or however you wanna call it. Thing is, it will be hard to push someone to be "someone else" and have this and that qualities especially if the current situation is stressing herself so much. When one is severely stressed or anxious, his/her level of thinking is affected and could think anything under the sun to justify whats happening or just to completely make things worse than what it really is. She needs support, that's how I see it. She needs to find a way first to relax herself and things would be clearer for her. Only then she can really think clearly about the situation and would then be able to accept any input in a more positive way without disrupting her self-esteem or whatever. Any other issues you may have, you can think about that later and have someone listen to you, someone you trust or feel comfortable with. Maybe a counselor can help or any friend? :)
I would repeat what one poster had said "Chill". That's the first step you have to try to achieve. You can think about the rest after. Several replies here have really good advices. :) Hopefully you can find a way to relax yourself first. Maybe you need a break from this first, even for a few hours or a whole day. Breathe. Relax.
Seems she may want you to know your role as student. Do you have a plan? Do you feel the need for a list? You are the student and she is the teacher. Meet with her and see what she has to say. You can always come up with a list with her if she/you feel its necessary. This may be her way of helping you prepare for the rigors of every day nursing once you are out in the world. I think it might be a great time for you to show her what your made of. Learn from this and from her. Thats what your there for. Try to turn what you feel is a negative situation into a postive one. Be confident and when you feel attacked (verbally), take a deep breath and think about the other positive way you can take it. Remember, keep your eyes on being an RN. This is just another bump in the road. Good luck to you.
do you all think it is necessary for me to follow up with a list of specific behaviors and a plan for each of them, as my instructor instructed?
I don't think you should completely ignore her request. I think she's genuinely trying to help you to gain insight into how your behavior may be effecting others. Gaining that kind of insight can be very valuable, and sometimes an outside point of view is necessary in order to achieve it. Being able to accept that kind of help is a sign of real maturity.
I would at least try to do what she is asking. You don't have to agree with everything she will say, you probably won't, because in some ways you will know things about yourself that she couldn't possibly know, but I think that if you're sincere and open you will gain some valuable insight into the other person's point of view, and what you learn will probably make you a better person in the eyes of others for the rest of your life.
In the end it will be up to you to take or leave her advice, to agree or disagree with her assessment, to put what she says into practice or not.
You are not giving up your dignity by doing what she says. You're admitting you're not perfect, because no one is, and you're showing respect for another person's point of view, and that will ultimately bring you more respect from others.
What you do with what you learn will be up to you.
do you all think it is necessary for me to follow up with a list of specific behaviors and a plan for each of them, as my instructor instructed?
Hello,
I've only just skimmed through the discussion on this thread, but I'd like to add a few thoughts.
Tiffany, it sounds as if it might help to get a little distance from the situation. Thinking about it all the time wears you down and makes it difficult to make objective decisions. Try to find some time to do other things, work on another project, take a walk and then return to the situation, hopefully, with a fresh perspective.
Do I think it's necessary to do what your instructor asked? It doesn't really matter what I think...it's your decision: your decision what you will do and your decision about how you will feel about it. In my experience however, time spent in self reflection is usually a positive experience.
I've had some pretty embarrasing situations happen with professors, situations in which I now understand could have been handled differently. Thinking about these situations still gives me the willies, so to speak. But, one cannot change the past, you can only learn from it and move on. Let the past go, decide what you've learned and how you will change your behaviour in the future.
do you all think it is necessary for me to follow up with a list of specific behaviors and a plan for each of them, as my instructor instructed?
YES!! I disagree with the poster who wrote for you just to forget all of this.
Your instructor specifically wrote that her concerns and this HW were NOT because of this e-mail incident. It seems she's really trying to help you. I would do exactly as she said (the request is documented!) and when I met with her, I would sit there and be open to whatever feedback she gave me (ie don't explain it, justify it, argue against it....even silently in your head just sit and listen to what she says). If you can take it in, and process it....that will give you a way to incorporate these changes. They could make you not only a more effective nurse, but a more effective person. The behaviors she mentions will effect most aspects of your life....not just nursing. It's worth it to do as she asks.
YES!! I disagree with the poster who wrote for you just to forget all of this.
I'm not sure if you were referring to my post CuriousMe, but I'd like to respectfully redirect you back to what I wrote. My point was not to say: forget about this. My point was to say: take a break, then come back to it. Just like when we study to much, we burn out if we don't take a break.
The situation needs to be dealt with, but I was trying to suggest a way of coping.
I'm not sure if you were referring to my post CuriousMe, but I'd like to respectfully redirect you back to what I wrote. My point was not to say: forget about this. My point was to say: take a break, then come back to it. Just like when we study to much, we burn out if we don't take a break.
The situation needs to be dealt with, but I was trying to suggest a way of coping.
Respectfully
JB
Nope, not speaking of your response, there was another that specifically said that they wouldn't even do the HW...but just drop the entire thing.
Emails are a really bad way to communicate things like this; leaves a paper trail that you cannot erase and now you get to fret over it.
I absolutely agree...emails are horrible!! They are usually read differently than they were written...
I know Nursing School is stressful and that is more than likley where it came from...I get very stressed, I know that!
I agree with the other posters...just do as she is requesting at this point...a face to face is a good start to mending everything! But do keep those emails as well...regardless of the situation now, an email like that should not have been sent. I know plenty who would have responded the same way!
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canoehead, BSN, RN
6,909 Posts
Back away from the computer...way back.
No more emailing to profs- go to the office so you see them face to face, and can get the nonverbal messages. No emailing when you are upset- just face to face interactions.
FYI I wouldn't do that homework assignment because the whole situation needs to be left alone by all three parties. It's over, let it slide, and go to class with a smile on your face and confidence that you will make a great nurse. Maybe, maybe, if the email saga comes up just say "wasn't that crazy? We really got our wires crossed." And move on. You don't want to send a prospective instructor a list of your faults before you ever meet. If she asks just say you regret the whole thing and want to start fresh. (I know it wasn't started by you, but just make nice.)
If your husband is constantly amping up your anxiety consider taking what he says with a grain of salt. I don't know the man, it just seems like he might not have been helping you with this issue.