Today I went to open my emails, and was surprised to actually receive an email that one instructor accidently sent to me, that was meant for my other instructor that was written about me. I am really affended and insulted. Please read and advise what you would do in this situation.
This is the email that came to me.........................
To instructor so and so,
The Jane Doe saga starts already. She is very upset that she has not received her package yet, although she hadn't given her new address to you, or the secretary. Look at her reply below and it will already make you start thinking we ave a long year ahead of us!!!
Happy Times!!!
Instructor so and so:)
Ps
I did tell my one instructor my new adress. Instead of her jumping to conclusions shouldn't she have verified this?
This is the message that I sent to her, I am assuming that perhaps I did not make it for the second year, as I don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. Thanks for everything
Take care
Jane Doe
I inquired when I was going to be doing my practicum days for evenings, because all my classmates knew 2 weeks before myself. I feel that she being my instructor for the practicum would know whether or not I was going to be doing it days or evenings. Don't I have the right to ask such questions.
I fear because she has judged me unfairly that it will have a impact on how well I do for the rest of the time at school. It seems as though she has labelled me and I am thinking that she is going to give me a hard time the rest of the year that we have.
Please advise me.
The reason I was feeling anxiety is because it seemed like everything seemed to be like a big run around for me, why would she judge me so harshly and not even know me? She taught us one class in 3 months time. And if she only took the time to know me she would know that I am a quiet sensitive person that sticks to herself and does not like to cause problems for anyone.
You have taken your stand in your right to defend yourself. Remember, that the instructors can have frustrations and moods too. It is unfair that you were the object of such a caddy remark, however, let this be a lesson for you in the manner in which some people "play politics".
You may experience something like this in the future with preceptors and coworkers, etc. I truly hope not but it is possible so consider this an experience learned in this segment of your early student nursing.
The instructors may realize that you are not a coward and that you are the type of person who will advocate for a patient.
Specializes in Med/Surg/Ortho/HH/Radiology-Now Retired.
Tiffany, I second some of what the other posters have written, not all.
Life is a journey of growth, we never stop growing and learning.
You have been placed in a situation by others, to which you have, understandably, reacted.
You've reacted in the only way you knew how at that point.
You've reached out here on allnurses seeking guidance and advice, which tells me you are a willing student wanting to learn and by default, grow. That in itself is commendable.
There are those who fool themselves to believe they are above needing help to learn and grow, and are never humble enough to publicly seek the guidance and advice needed to help facilitate both.
It takes courage to open up as you have done and ask for advice, it shows a certain level of maturity, being open to others either supporting you or, criticising you.
Since you've done that here on allnurses, my suggestion to you is; now exercise the same willingness, courage, and humility, and be open to your instructor who has offered you both a challenge and an opportunity for self evaluation and further growth.
Many times along this life journey, we need to stop, take stock, listen and learn. Failure to do so only wastes the parts of the journey which are designated for such development, both personally and in our working /professional lives.
Work towards becoming more self confident, learn to trust yourself and believe in yourself. Work on becoming less reactive and impulsive. You don't have to change the very essence of who you are, just adapt how you deal with things, situations, people etc.
I wish you every success as you navigate your way through this learning experience. And, trust me, by the time you get to my age, you'll look back at this time and wonder what the heck all the hooha was about!!!
You were brave to ask for advice here, and you deserve a lot of credit for that. I agree with a lot of the kind, thoughtful advice to you, that was compassionate to you, and even compassionate to the very imperfect teachers.
When I was a student nurse (many, many, many moons ago), many of us student nurses were under so much pressure (especially during our psyche rotation!), that a bunch of us ended up going to our nursing school's psychiatrists, for individual help/sessions, for our own problems.
It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
From my own experience, I know that when feeling under pressure, it's not always easy to just "chill out", when we feel attacked, wrongly judged, insulted, misunderstood, etc.
So, what to do? Here's an idea, in addition to many excellent ideas already shared here by caring people:
If there is a sympathetic, empathetic psychiatrist or psychologist (who is not nuts him/her/self!), I urge you to consider seeing such a person, in order to both ventilate, get practical advice, and, to work through some previous emotional baggage, in a productive, non-judgmental environment.
A good psychiatrist or psychologist can see the real you, and should like that "real" you--and that can help you to to find out some things about yourself, and doing all of this can help you learn how to cope, in positive ways that will help you not be as sensitive to imperfect (even mean) people, as it is natural for those of us with some previous emotional baggage to do (for example, if a parent might have been too demanding, critical, etc., when you were younger).
So, yes, you can and should try to make lemonade out of this lemon! No matter what, this stressful experience, if you can get a little help from an impartial counselor, may help you to gain more self confidence, learn how to cope with teachers who probably have their own problems, and deal more easily and productively, with life in general.
Many of us make mistakes, reacting too quickly at times, and many of us do have previous emotional baggage that we sometimes need to face and deal with. You can turn this into a positive experience, either alone, or with some help from a sympathetic helper. It shows strength. not weakness, to ask for that help, if you choose to do so.
Good luck, Tiffany! Hang in there, and don't give up! Thanks also to all of the kind souls on this forum!
Yes, you probably could have handled your end better. However, in your defense, you are a student and being taught...in all ways, one way being by example.
Despite the email being sent to you by mistake, it in no way helps to teach YOU to be a caring, responsible professional when your teacher behaves in such an ugly manner.
This judgement of you would probably have been demonstrated in some other way....possibly even more harmful to you, hopefully this incident will help them monitor themselves.
And hopefully, they will remember that they are being PAID TO PROVIDE A SERVICE...TEACHING.
do you all think it is necessary for me to follow up with a list of specific behaviors and a plan for each of them, as my instructor instructed?
Yes, it is necessary to follow up with the specific behaviors and plans addressing each of them. It seems to me that this instructor is wanting to help you to overcome your reactionary tendencies. Though this isn't a graded exercise, it will undoubtedly have some consequence, it may even create a professional mentor.
Furthermore, I can see where your angst may be getting the best of you. Being on the bubble academically isn't helping you (or your husband). Learn to relax, listen to what is being taught, and look at your instructors as an asset instead of an enemy. Even instructors that may not personally "like" you are not out to get you, normally they don't want you to fail for many reasons; the paperwork involved, personal and institutional credentialing requirements, professional evaluations, and professionalism are just 4 quick reasons, someone in academics may be able to expand the list.
I'm sorry...but I have to chime in. This is just MY opinion....for what it is worth.
Yes, they are your instructors, and yes, you have to learn from them.....BUT that DOES NOT MEAN that you have to be a doormat for them! I think you did right by calling them out on the email that was wrongly sent. It lets them know that they better be more careful about what they say, and about their actions.
No one deserves to be mistreated or talked badly about....regardless if you are a student or not!!! You are paying for your education...you deserve the best.
And as for you needing to "learn" to be professional...well, that's obviously not something your are going to learn from these professors....because according to those emails...they have no concept of what being professional is.
Go into class, and do your very best....EVERY DAY! And just move on.
Again...just my opinion....but I can't stand to see anyway treated like a doormat, and being told to just take it.
School will be very hard for me, for very different reasons. What I say is that I cannot put up with this crap forever, but I CAN put up with it for just one year. My motto might help you as well. It is my motto...my mantra... my first thought every morning. :) Sure its unfair, but its only for a year and the result is SO worth it. In this case, the end (the nursing degree) justifies the means (being a "doormat" if you will and putting up with whatever you need to) Maybe at the end, after having kept quiet and focused for the duration, you'll see the benefit to you of biting your tongue and not jumping the gun.
Specializes in oncology, end-of-life, hospice, CAM.
Try to resist the urge to beat yourself up - while you made some mistakes, you seem to be on the right path. You asked for help from the nursing community. You listened and accepted the advice you were given. And, you eventually came to understand that your initial responses were not the wisest.
What you've learned from this experience is exceedingly valuable. If you take these lessons to heart and carry it with you for your entire nursing career, you will be miles ahead of your cohort.
Knowing very little about you and about your instructors, it seems that you are making too much out of nothing. My take is: hit the delete button; get over it and spend your time getting ready to become an RN. As it is, you are turning all this into a saga... I beginning to feel pity for your peers and professors.
Nurse Smiley
41 Posts
Hi Tiffany 311,
You have taken your stand in your right to defend yourself. Remember, that the instructors can have frustrations and moods too. It is unfair that you were the object of such a caddy remark, however, let this be a lesson for you in the manner in which some people "play politics".
You may experience something like this in the future with preceptors and coworkers, etc. I truly hope not but it is possible so consider this an experience learned in this segment of your early student nursing.
The instructors may realize that you are not a coward and that you are the type of person who will advocate for a patient.
Best of Luck in your studies and "get over it"!
Nurse Smiley :loveya: