Today I went to open my emails, and was surprised to actually receive an email that one instructor accidently sent to me, that was meant for my other instructor that was written about me. I am really affended and insulted. Please read and advise what you would do in this situation.
This is the email that came to me.........................
To instructor so and so,
The Jane Doe saga starts already. She is very upset that she has not received her package yet, although she hadn't given her new address to you, or the secretary. Look at her reply below and it will already make you start thinking we ave a long year ahead of us!!!
Happy Times!!!
Instructor so and so:)
Ps
I did tell my one instructor my new adress. Instead of her jumping to conclusions shouldn't she have verified this?
This is the message that I sent to her, I am assuming that perhaps I did not make it for the second year, as I don't understand why it is taking so long to know anything. Thanks for everything
Take care
Jane Doe
I inquired when I was going to be doing my practicum days for evenings, because all my classmates knew 2 weeks before myself. I feel that she being my instructor for the practicum would know whether or not I was going to be doing it days or evenings. Don't I have the right to ask such questions.
I fear because she has judged me unfairly that it will have a impact on how well I do for the rest of the time at school. It seems as though she has labelled me and I am thinking that she is going to give me a hard time the rest of the year that we have.
Please advise me.
The reason I was feeling anxiety is because it seemed like everything seemed to be like a big run around for me, why would she judge me so harshly and not even know me? She taught us one class in 3 months time. And if she only took the time to know me she would know that I am a quiet sensitive person that sticks to herself and does not like to cause problems for anyone.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know how it must have made you feel. But what's done is done and all you can do now is learn from it and move forward.
Don't beat yourself up or let anyone else beat you up emotionally over it. Just recognize that you are now in a different world than you were in high school, and the rules are different.
Growing up is hard. But I think you'll be fine. You will make mistakes along the way - we've all made our share! But I think you are intelligent enough to learn from them and be a better, stronger person for them.
Many times along this life journey, we need to stop, take stock, listen and learn. Failure to do so only wastes the parts of the journey which are designated for such development, both personally and in our working /professional lives.
Beautiful! We can't change the past, but we can choose to learn from it!
It is unfortunate you did not allow a little more quiet reflection time before you responded to the professors. I understand your "hurt feelings" but in the future try to remember to give yourself 24 hours before responding to any negative feelings. This also works for buying things you don't really need.
Good luck in your career and know you are blessed to have learned a valuable lesson.
Specializes in Med-Surg, , Home health, Education.
YES!! I disagree with the poster who wrote for you just to forget all of this.
Your instructor specifically wrote that her concerns and this HW were NOT because of this e-mail incident. It seems she's really trying to help you. I would do exactly as she said (the request is documented!) and when I met with her, I would sit there and be open to whatever feedback she gave me (ie don't explain it, justify it, argue against it....even silently in your head just sit and listen to what she says). If you can take it in, and process it....that will give you a way to incorporate these changes. They could make you not only a more effective nurse, but a more effective person. The behaviors she mentions will effect most aspects of your life....not just nursing. It's worth it to do as she asks.
I wish you the best.
Peace,
CuriousMe
I second this. I think it's great advice and yes, you should have a plan in place. By doing this you will show the instructor you want to change these behaviors. I also agree that addressing these reactive behaviors will make you be a better nurse. Believe me...you will run into incidences in your career where you definately need to stop and think before you react. It could make a huge difference in a patient's life. Good luck. With time comes maturity.
I also agree with ooooooo. Being coy will certainly not win over their hearts. Plus emailing that back to them with that type of response gives them a paper trail if trouble does come up. Never put in writing something that could come back to bite you. Hopefully it will pass, but if it doesn't you need to set up a meeting on how you might be able to better communicate. (whether you think you need to or not) You want to show them that you are willing to do what ever is necessary to succeed and get along. This type of conflict can follow you to the work place. You will work with many different personalities and need to be able to handle them all professionally. Good Luck
My question is, is this instructor wanting me to do this so she can have me so that the other instuctors fault looks like I was the one that brought all this on?
what should I do?
Do it.
Unfortunately, you can't undo what has happened up to this point, but you can take her advice and see how you can improve yourself. I don't know you beyond the posts I read on the forum, so I can't say I agree/disagree with the instructor's observations...but do consider that if the instructor sees these traits in you, perhaps there something to what she is saying. Perhaps there are things that she and others see that you can fix (if it needs it) or strengthen (if it doesn't) to make you a better person. It couldn't hurt to self-assess...in fact, as a nurse you will be doing that a lot.
As for whether you think she's doing that to make you look bad to the other instructors (that's how I read the quoted post)...WHO CARES? The instructors will think of you whatever they think of you, and to be honest, it'd be a waste of time trying to change those opinions by defending yourself and rehashing this incident with them. Instead, be productive about it: learn from this incident and focus on your school work for this year, because that's the important stuff. Your teachers can adore you, and it won't mean anything if you don't know the material for the NCLEX.
At the very least, consider this all a lesson learned about waiting a while (a minute, an hour, a day, hell--even a week if necessary) to calm yourself down before e-mailing or otherwise contacting people if you're worked up. You can't undo what you say in the heat of the moment. And people forget that e-mails stay around forever, and things said in haste often come back to bite them in the future. Go on, ask me how I know this...
There has been some good advice given here. Your teacher didn't write that e-mail for no reason---obviously you were acting inappropriately last year, which has led to frustration on your teacher's part.
The best advice given here is to quit talking/e-mailing/overanalyzing. Keep you mouth shut and do your work. You asked "don't I have the right to ask questions about my education?"....yes but only to a point. If you are constantly asking questions about things you should be able to figure out yourself, it doesn't look well.
It especially doesn't look well consider that you are going into a high intensity field such as nursing.
I suggest that before you say or ask anything of your teachers again, you ask here first. Leave your teachers alone! Sure you teachers should have been more professional, and yes they get paid to help students like you...but ultimately you are responsible for yourself.
Don't make excuses for your behavior and don't ever, ever, ever bring up your husband or personal life as an excuse. This make it sound like you can't separate your personal life from your professional life--a bad trait in any workplace, but esp. bad in a high-intensity profession such as nursing.
In general, when dealing with people, the less said the better. Yes, I understand you are trying to explain and be honest...but it's not professional and most people's attention spans aren't that long. Be short & succint.
ie you are worried about your package. The appropriate thing would have been to call or e-mail the secretary and say "I haven't received my package you and want to verify that my correct address is on file"
Keep all your personal thoughts about failing or whatever to yourself. Your professors don't care (maybe they should, but the truth is they don't) and you are just making yourself look bad.
Since you already have a bad reputation among your professors, you need to work especially hard at keeping quiet, even more so than other students.
Just don't talk with your professors and when you must be as impersonal as possible. If you need to pour your angst out, than do it here where it isn't potentially affecting your grades!
As for the "assignment" the professor has given you, I wouldn't mention it at all. Let the professor approach you about it. Most likely she gave you the assignment hoping it would scare you off and you would quit e-mailing her. If she does approach you about a meeting, then of course go, but try to keep the talk off of your personality/personal life and solely about your professional life. ie you might say that you realize overreacting or hasty responses would be non-helpful in a medical environment and that you are now counting to 60 before you react or that you are reading a book on professional communication (and than maybe cite some of the things you've learned from the book.)
I wish you the best of luck with the new school year. I know it is hard to keep quiet (this has been a trait I've had to work on myself), but it is a must. It is unfortunate you responded to the e-mail (the best response would have been to completely ignore it, as it wasn't addressed to you.) From now on, keep all of your communication brief and concerning professional matters only.
three years ago, an unkind, unjust instructor failed me and forced me out of a program. i went to another program and graduated six months later than i should have. when ever i see that instructor, i give her my warmest smile and hello. be the bigger person, don't do or say anything. instructors hold all the cards. study, get the best grades you can and get out with your degree. pass the nclex and don't look back.
I would make sure that you provide the correct address to the department if you have not done so.
As far as the email, I would reply nicely, "Sorry, but I think you sent this to the wrong person". Nothing more, nothing less.
But keep a copy of all the emails involved!!
Very well said!!!! This will have a more profound effect on the instructor than to say anything else. Remember you want to maintain professionalism, even while still in nursing school.
The more of an issue you make it, the more of an issue it becomes.
I would have responded to the e-mail (to let her know that she sent it to the wrong person and that I was offended), forwarded it the intended recipient, and left it at that. I would not have apologized for my feelings/natural reaction.
As far as the homework assignment goes. . .I would take her advice and do some serious self-reflection, but you couldn't pay me to write down the things I need to work on. If there's going to be a face-to-face meeting with her then you can verbally communicate your flaws and plans to change them.
Call me a conspiracy theorist but if Professor A wrote the e-mail to Professor B (who handed out the assignment), there must be a level of comfort between the two and I wouldn't be quick to believe that either one of them had my best interest at heart. The good thing is that neither one of them has to love you if you do your work, pass your classes, and practice safely.
I just graduated in June and my professors knew I would advocate for my patients because I advocated for myself. If I needed a question answered I would ask as many times as I had to, if I saw injustices I spoke on them. I wasn't changing that for any period of time.
In the end I was recognized for leadership, scholarship, and service at pinning, which was surprising because some professors loved me and some --not so much.
Specializes in ICU, Paeds ICU, Correctional, Education.
From your perspective it's probably a big deal. From theirs you are one of many students. An accidental email has been sent. What do you say about others in your emails? A word of advice. ...let it wash over you and get on with doing your best at your studies.
There are a lot of posts and I have to admit that I have not read all of them. You are going to probably take my advice as crude and insulting and harsh, but if you are going to succeed in the nursing field you need to consider what I'm telling you.
My advice to you is to get a grip. You are going into a profession that requires you to not get "offended" by anything. Stop being paranoid. As far as being sensitive. Learn to check that one at the door. You can be caring and gentle and nice and have empathy without being "sensitive". There is no room for people that wear their feelings on their sleve.
Maybe she did send the email to the other instructor and sent a copy to you so that she wouldn't be going behind your back.
KLKRN, RN
196 Posts
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know how it must have made you feel. But what's done is done and all you can do now is learn from it and move forward.
Don't beat yourself up or let anyone else beat you up emotionally over it. Just recognize that you are now in a different world than you were in high school, and the rules are different.
Growing up is hard. But I think you'll be fine. You will make mistakes along the way - we've all made our share! But I think you are intelligent enough to learn from them and be a better, stronger person for them.
All the best.