I lack social skills and confidence. Is nursing a possibility for me?

[DerAustin]

I have long wanted to get into the medical field as I have always been interested in Biology and Chemistry. However, due to the lack of jobs/wages for those degrees and the need to choose a direction, I decided nursing might be a good way to go.

My concerns are I am horrible at small talk, have an inferiority complex due to my small stature, and terribly lack self-confidence as a consequence of my nurturing as a child by an overbearing mother. I get terrible anxiety when faced with the task of having to take initiative or do something on my own for the first couple times without someone holding my hand. I recently completed a CNA certification program and during clinicals I was alright working with the nurse, but I find it hard to imagine handling people so closely by myself without crippling anxiety. Furthermore, I wouldn't be able to wipe patient's butts EVERYDAY for a living and assist in ADL, it just isn't for me. I'm assuming I don't have to work so intimately with patients as an RN?

So anyways, I am asking for advice if anyone else has had these same problems and overcome them(lack of people skills, no self-confidence at job related tasks by myself, anxiety due to the two previous) and also, is there any hope for me or advice/recommendations that can be offered? I'm extremely intelligent and figure things out a lot easier than other people academically/logically, but I can't convert it to practical use due to my crippling anxiety. I feel like everyone will look at me as the slow/stupid/incompetent nurse because I'm afraid I'll mess up even the simplest tasks and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

No crystal balls available, sorry. One thing IS certain: you will absolutely need to get your anxiety under control; "crippling anxiety" does not go with nursing. Medications and/or therapy may be in order, but if you do nothing, I can assure you of little chance of success. Nursing school is anxiety-provoking in and of itself; if you have a pre-existing condition that would become overwhelming, that is something you need to deal with first.

You may consider yourself uber-intelligent, but you MUST be able to take the knowledge you gain in school and apply it, or you won't get past the licensing exam. Memorizing data only goes so far, you WILL need to be able to think outside the box, and create a plan of action quickly. There are people who will have less intelligence than you who will succeed, and people more intelligent than you who will fail. Depends on the ability of the individual to adapt to the requirements of the program.....and then the job.

Now, about the rest: no one can tell you whether you will be "wiping patients' butts EVERYDAY for a living and assising in ADL" but I CAN tell you there is little control you will have on that topic for many years to come. Nursing school clinicals are full of it, entry-into-practice may well have it as well. If you intend to work in an acute-care facility (ie: hospital) or a long-term care facility (ie: nursing home, rehab) you can expect to encounter it regularly. If you work in facilities that utilize a Total Care model (meaning YOU get to do it all, with or without assistance from a CNA), you can expect to find it then, too. ICU, ED? Cleanups required.

To get the kind of jobs that are neat and clean, no ADLS....well.....you have to earn those jobs with some time and experience under your belt. If you don't think you can make it several years before getting a chance at one of those jobs.....there's your answer.

Being less-than-confident is normal, and frankly necessary, so you don't go past your knowledge base/skill set. Being crippled with a complete lack of confidence isn't going to get you through nursing school.

Talk to your doctor. See what you can do about anxiety, etc. And then assess whether your disdain for intimate care is enough to prevent you from doint it (and doing it well). There are TONS of new grads who would kill for a job, any job, so if you're not prepared to fight them for those jobs that involve intimate personal care, you might want to reconsider.

[anh06005, MSN, APRN, NP]

I also suck at small talk but usually you don't have time for small talk. When I was working in the floor we'd talk about what was going on, meds, etc. I changed to home health which made small talk necessary. Thankfully being in the home it's easy to ask about a picture or piece of furniture.

I sometimes get tired of dealing with people and wish I'd gone into the lab instead (something to consider). Overall, though, I love nursing. Also night shift doesn't require the chit chat.

And as PP said you will clean butts sometimes. Maybe not everyday but you don't want a patient sitting in stool for an hour just because the aide is busy.

[umbdude, MSN, APRN]

Having good people skills isn't only about small talks. Good interpersonal skills include listening, communication, trust-building, and empathy etc.

Having said that, you can build your small-talk ability over time. Think about topics to talk about and ask people about their lives before the actual interactions. Practice first with friends and family so there's less pressure. Additionally, accept that you're not a good small-talker and that's okay! It's true that some people are great at it, but you can be great at other things like listening well and using your knowledge to educate patients. Also, don't assume that everyone likes small talks because some people don't especially when they're busy or when they're sick.

Working with a therapist/psychologist helps too (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy), so give that a thought.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Being less-than-confident is normal, and frankly necessary, so you don't go past your knowledge base/skill set. Being crippled with a complete lack of confidence isn't going to get you through nursing school.

I totally agree with RNsRWe. A little bit of what you describe is normal and healthy. Over-confidence is dangerous. But if your anxiety is overwhelming, then you need to solve that problem before you start nursing school.

When I read posts like yours, my first thought is always, "What are your plans for dealing with your problem?" You didn't mention any plans. Obstacles can be overcome. Self-assessment can be a great thing, but you need to follow it up with a plan to address your problem areas if you want to succeed as a nurse. Talk to your doctor or find a counselor that can help you.

Good luck!

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Frankly I just don't think you are a good candidate for nursing at this time. I doesn't sound like bedside nursing is something you will enjoy. A couple things stand out to me. 1) crippling anxiety 2) blaming it on your mother 3) unable to apply your knowledge and maybe 4) being unable to wipe butts.

[NobleLeo]

I think you need to take some time and relax before you move forward. If you are looking to avoid wiping butts then you won't like being an RN. It will take plenty of butt cleaning before you reach a level where that is minimal. Also you will need to get your lack of self confidence under control before moving forward because you will need some level of confidence just to get through nursing school. You may want to look into health administration or some sort of paperwork job, which in healthcare there are plenty.

I hope this helps and that you are able to find something you enjoy!

[caliotter3]

Frankly I just don't think you are a good candidate for nursing at this time. I doesn't sound like bedside nursing is something you will enjoy. A couple things stand out to me. 1) crippling anxiety 2) blaming it on your mother 3) unable to apply your knowledge and maybe 4) being unable to wipe butts.

You should also disavow yourself of any notion that nursing is where the jobs/wages are located.

[NirvanaRN]

Before I entered into nursing I found it hard to make small talk and I was a little anxious in most social situations. However, one thing I was sure about was my passion for the profession. At the end of the day I was not going to let anything prevent me from pursuing my passion. If becoming a nurse is truly a passion of yours then your insecurities will fade away. If you keep telling yourself that you will not do well, no matter if it is nursing or something else, then you will not do well. If you feel uncertain about nursing, I suggest shadow experience with a registered nurse in a setting of your choice (acute care, long-term care, clinic, etc...).

As far a "wiping butt's" goes, it may come with the job; however, that should not be a deciding factor in making your decision to pursue a career in nursing.

[JoseQuinones]

You know what really contributes to anxiety? Having bills you can't pay. Having no hope of getting a decent job and spending years in the same slog of the same entry-level jobs. Nursing is a good job with a stable outlook and decent pay. Make the sacrifices you have to now to bring yourself a good future. You can work through this. You were smart enough and confident enough to get into nursing school - don't listen to those voices that want to sabotage you.

[PaulBaxter]

I don't know about your geographic area, but around here there are research and lab jobs for people with biology degrees. Might be more up your alley.

[DerAustin]

Thankyou all tremendously for your responses, I greatly appreciate them all. Perhaps Health Administration would be more up my alley being as introverted as I am, but I definitely don't want a desk job where I sit around all day, that is extremely unhealthy in my opinion. I understand that you have to face your fears to grow as a person and gain confidence, and I really don't have time or resources to ponder the perfect job, I need to just choose a direction. To Qualify, wiping butts isn't necessarily a deal breaker, although it is a huge deterrent to imagine doing it every day for years, it's working in the long-term care facility as well with so many people with such a low quality of life, some of which would just lay in darkness with no stimulation all day everyday, which really just isn't for me. It's twisted and depraved to me.

I just really need to improve my confidence is all. When I worked during clinicals(and previous jobs) I felt really socially awkward, unable to project confidence or be my true self, and inability to communicate with the patients..which led to awkward silence because it seemed a lot of them liked to be talked to or at least something other than me feeding them in silence for 20 minutes straight and such. I just couldn't establish any kind of warmth or relationship with them. Do you think others will accept and understand my shyness, even if they do find it very strange and awkward? I am not like this in my natural element, but in a professional element I don't know how to be myself or establish connections and warm dialogue. I just feel like, I'm in a professional setting and have to be professional and am extremely stiff and don't know how to loosen up. And again, I'm not a take charge person at all and that is a very relevant quality to have with nursing. I suppose I'll try pursuing my BSN and then if after trying I don't have the social skills or confidence to do it, which has been the problem in many past jobs, I am guessing it would be easy to enter a fast track program into a different degree? Perhaps a Chemistry degree would be symbiotic? THANKS AGAIN!