I lack social skills and confidence. Is nursing a possibility for me?

[DerAustin]

I have long wanted to get into the medical field as I have always been interested in Biology and Chemistry. However, due to the lack of jobs/wages for those degrees and the need to choose a direction, I decided nursing might be a good way to go.

My concerns are I am horrible at small talk, have an inferiority complex due to my small stature, and terribly lack self-confidence as a consequence of my nurturing as a child by an overbearing mother. I get terrible anxiety when faced with the task of having to take initiative or do something on my own for the first couple times without someone holding my hand. I recently completed a CNA certification program and during clinicals I was alright working with the nurse, but I find it hard to imagine handling people so closely by myself without crippling anxiety. Furthermore, I wouldn't be able to wipe patient's butts EVERYDAY for a living and assist in ADL, it just isn't for me. I'm assuming I don't have to work so intimately with patients as an RN?

So anyways, I am asking for advice if anyone else has had these same problems and overcome them(lack of people skills, no self-confidence at job related tasks by myself, anxiety due to the two previous) and also, is there any hope for me or advice/recommendations that can be offered? I'm extremely intelligent and figure things out a lot easier than other people academically/logically, but I can't convert it to practical use due to my crippling anxiety. I feel like everyone will look at me as the slow/stupid/incompetent nurse because I'm afraid I'll mess up even the simplest tasks and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I'm going to assume that you are a man due to the profile pic and that you said you are extremely small at 5'4". I'm a woman and 5'1" and many of my classmates are short like me. 5'4" is not small for a woman.

Here is my input and you can take it or leave it. First, you will be doing peri care on adults your whole career if you choose to be a RN. Also ADLs are very important especially in a hospital setting. You will be seeing very sick people. People on fall precautions, seizure precautions. People who need help. That's kind of part of being a nurse. If you can't do that, nursing is not for you.

As far as your personality goes, you seem very set in accepting who you are and not wanting to change it. Being introverted is not a problem being a nurse. Crippling anxiety is. Some people are very shy. But I know people who are shy and have overcome it. One of my best friends in nursing school is very shy and anxious. I am a huge extrovert. I often just say what I'm thinking, which is something that I am working on myself because that can be a really bad thing sometimes. So me and this extremely shy girl started talking and studying together. She eventually would call me and ask for my opinion on things. The more we have talked, the more she is coming out of her shell. Now, she is still pretty introverted and has shyness. But it is something she is working on. We are working together to be better people to be able to work with patients better and give better patient care. Her and I balance each other out and work well together. Just don't be set on the fact you can't things about yourself. But it's up to you to change and not anyone else. Stop blaming your mother and work on yourself. It's never too late.

[futurepsychrn, ADN]

I don't understand. I believe "chitchat" as you call it is a necessary part of nursing. It's called "Therapeutic Communication". I'm not even a nurse yet and I understand that! Talking to patients, family, etc. may help you identify a problem you were unaware of.

[futurepsychrn, ADN]

I may be feeling a little intolerant but doesn't anyone else find the phrase "wiping butt" or "wiping a--" completely offensive? I don't wipe butts, I clean my incontinent patients. I just find the phrase "wiping butts" sort of dehumanizing. They're people not body parts!

I agree 110%. I have worked as a nurse's aide and it's humiliating enough for some of the patients without people going around talking about having to "wipe someone's butt"! If that's the attitude someone has I definitely don't think this is the field for them!

[LovelyBlue]

In nursing school you will be taught therapeutic communication, this will help you tremendously. I have always been a shy and somewhat awkward person, so I shared your hesitancy. Therapeutic communication helped me understand the basics of communication to establish a caring relationship. Nursing is not about being a blabber mouth nurse who can make small talk. Therapeutic communication creates an environment that is patient centered. Silence is actually therapeutic :) It allows patients to form their thoughts and feelings. Once they express them, just repeat what they said in order to show them you heard it. They will continue to talk and you can continue to listen. Actually, if you are a good listener, you will do well.

Personally, I was eager to use therapeutic communication techniques with friends and family. At first some it of it seemed awkward and unnecessary but, in the long run, it has helped me gain exponential confidence with people. Here's a link, pay close attention to the non-therapeutic communication as well, small talk is probably more synonymous with this type :) Therapeutic Communication in Psychiatric Nursing

[DerAustin]

Once again thankyou so much for all of your comments. Some of you kind of took the "overbearing mother" thing and ran with it a bit too much, but of course you are the observer, not the subject, so I don't blame you. However, I have been aware since I came of age I am no longer a child and I am responsible for my own life,actions, and psychology. Realizing that on a conscious level doesn't automatically erase the psychological trauma or deep-seated insecurity. I'm all for tough love and constructive criticism, but I believe it is misplaced here. Or maybe it's not, I'm willing to accept that also haha.

Anyways, I've decided I am going to apply for Liberty University's Nursing program in Virginia. They told me there will be extensive clinical hours the entire 5 semesters, and I figure it's worth a try. I may fail or the anxiety may win out, both of which have happened in the past at different jobs/things, but I have to keep trying.

Thankyou for all the advice. I don't believe in medicating with drugs, so I will try to tough things out without them. And I will try to be more optimistic and excited about the potential positive outcome of this, instead of fearful of failure. I appreciate all the tips, time, and caring thoughts. I will continue to work on my issues. I have a lot of self-awareness and ability to identify irrational thoughts and know how I should logically, or rationally think. It's just hard making this a habit, and it's harder the older I get as I become less egotistical and the same old tricks/realizations lose their initial luster or their effect more and more.

[Julius Seizure]

Once again thankyou so much for all of your comments. Some of you kind of took the "overbearing mother" thing and ran with it a bit too much, but of course you are the observer, not the subject, so I don't blame you. However, I have been aware since I came of age I am no longer a child and I am responsible for my own life,actions, and psychology. Realizing that on a conscious level doesn't automatically erase the psychological trauma or deep-seated insecurity. I'm all for tough love and constructive criticism, but I believe it is misplaced here. Or maybe it's not, I'm willing to accept that also haha.

Anyways, I've decided I am going to apply for Liberty University's Nursing program in Virginia. They told me there will be extensive clinical hours the entire 5 semesters, and I figure it's worth a try. I may fail or the anxiety may win out, both of which have happened in the past at different jobs/things, but I have to keep trying.

Thankyou for all the advice. I don't believe in medicating with drugs, so I will try to tough things out without them. And I will try to be more optimistic and excited about the potential positive outcome of this, instead of fearful of failure. I appreciate all the tips, time, and caring thoughts. I will continue to work on my issues. I have a lot of self-awareness and ability to identify irrational thoughts and know how I should logically, or rationally think. It's just hard making this a habit, and it's harder the older I get as I become less egotistical and the same old tricks/realizations lose their initial luster or their effect more and more.

I wish you the best, and I am happy that you are going to give the nursing program a go. You will never know if you don't take a chance.

I'm not sure why you don't believe in "medicating with drugs", but I hope that you are able to find some way to help you manage your anxiety - whether its prescriptions or some other method. I would hate to see that get in the way of your success when it doesn't have to.

Good luck!

[koalas]

Hi! I can tell you from experience and the experience of those around me, it is very possible to overcome these difficulties! You almost sound like my sister who suffered from social anxiety for many years. Although in her case, it was so bad she was afraid to go to high school and almost unable to graduate because she would skip school so much. It was so bad, the anxiety would get her sick. Anything people-oriented scared her whether it be family gatherings or my friends being at the house. You name it, she would hide in her room. It took her until she found the right medication to get better, and she is doing better! She put everyone in shock when she brought a friend home and started telling jokes to my group of friends!

I work at a hospital and one of the nurses told me about her life situation; very similar to yours. Very overprotective parents, she never socialized much and that was one of her obstacles going into nursing. However, she took the plunge and did it, and it was a fear she grew out of.

Your anxiety could be simply a fear that you can overcome by doing it, just like anything other fear. Or, it could be a chemical imbalance in your brain. My suggestion to you would be try to take the plunge and get comfortable around people. See about practicing assessment skills on your family, volunteer somewhere that requires you to interact with people, do a lot of tasks, ect. or join a club that your school has to offer. Get yourself involved and your confidence will build. If it doesn't go away and you can't do any of these things without crying and/or feeling crippled, go see a psychiatrist.

[ShelbyaStar]

Thankyou for all the advice. I don't believe in medicating with drugs, so I will try to tough things out without them. And I will try to be more optimistic and excited about the potential positive outcome of this, instead of fearful of failure. I appreciate all the tips, time, and caring thoughts. I will continue to work on my issues. I have a lot of self-awareness and ability to identify irrational thoughts and know how I should logically, or rationally think. It's just hard making this a habit, and it's harder the older I get as I become less egotistical and the same old tricks/realizations lose their initial luster or their effect more and more.

Do you not believe in medicating physical problems with drugs? Will you tell your Diabetic patient to learn to tough it out without their insulin?

By all means, first course of action with any chronic condition, whether mental or physical, should be healthy lifestyle. But that can only do so much in a lot of cases. Not sure why so many think brain issues should be exempt from such treatments that would be no-brainers if it were instead a kidney issue, heart issue, etc.

[canigraduate]

Observation for the OP - if you do not believe in medicating, then it is probably a poor idea to be a nurse, as that is a large part of your job.

Unless you are speaking about medicating yourself, only. In that case, I think you are doing yourself a disservice. Anxiety often happens due to a neurotransmitter imbalance, exacerbated by ineffective coping patterns. If you do not fix the underlying physical problem, no amount of therapy or self-taught coping is going to help.

Would you withhold a thyroid medication from yourself and give yourself a pep talk? The results are similar to not medicating a chronic psych problem.

[MFaf]

At the end of the day, nursing is a service business. People will expect you to be friendly, show you care, and project enough confidence that you know what you're doing. Nursing may not be the right place for you if you aren't a people person. PS....I am a nursing faculty and still "wipe butts" after 28 years in the profession and I have a PhD.

[Butterfries]

Don't worry. Once you are a nurse, usually most of that anxiety goes away because you are so busy. I use to be shy and have social anxiety. After I became a CNA, that all changed because working with patients and coworkers really build your social skills. Just a warning though, nursing can be cut throat. I cried a lot when I starting the nursing field, but you get to build thick skin. They don't joke around when they say nurses eat their young. Don't feel bad if you make mistakes ( as long as they are not life-threatening). It is a learning experience. Your self-confidence will improve once you learn that you have made a difference in someone's life and with experience, you will know how to handle situations. And remember, if you get bull from a patient, don't take it personally. They are sick, anyone sick is not going to be very happy.