I feel excluded at work.

[abcotta]

Recently, I feel excluded from my co-workers. I am quiet person but I have nothing wrong with people & my job. I overheard them talk behind my back about everything I did, said even if I don't like corn or ham. They joked like I am strange or something. I feel like if we don't gozzip someone, then we will be the one who is talked about.

At work, I have never talked behind someones back because it againt my religion. Then my coworkers assume that I must be the one who spread the word.

Someone suggested me to tell manager and I did. It seems better for 1-2 weeks but after that I am treated badly at work, bullying, dirty look, excluded. Some of my coworkers look nervous if I talk to them.

My friends suggest me to leave the job but I like this job, salary, system here.

What should I do?

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

sorry you are being treated like this.

hold your head high and carry on. you will need to develop a tough hide, without being a witch about it. you know that right will always prevail. you are an angel for sticking it out. hope things improve for you.

praiser :heartbeat

[racing-mom4, BSN, RN]

Keep busy-Give great pt care, make sure all your work is done and always help out your co-workers--answer thier lights, help with admissions, if they appear busy and you have the time grab a set of thier vitals or an acu check. Always smile, always say thanks...its just like being the new kid at school some times some people will test you to see how much they can get away with...There is most likely a ring leader.

Just keep busy doing your job to the best of your ability and soon this will pass....

Good luck and congrats on the new job!!

[psychnurse51]

Hi. I know what you mean about the gossip chain. It happens everywhere, believe me. You know that you are a good person and are there (working) for the right reasons. People who gossip about other people are INSECURE. Keep your head up. You will find a working "buddy" sooner or later. Happy Holidays!

[llg, PhD, RN]

Your colleagues were wrong to gossip about you. However, reporting them to the manager probably only made your relationship with them worse. They may now be scared to interact with you because they fear that if they say something you don't like, you will get them in trouble with the manager.

It will take time to build a more comfortable relationship with your colleagues. Don't expect things to become wonderful over night. In the meantime, just be as pleasant as you can be and be a helpful, friendly co-worker to have around. There is an old saying, "The best way to have a friend is to be one." If you want to be friends with them, give them time (and give yourself time) to build a new relationship. If you don't want to be friends with them, just do your job and ignore them.

[leosasha]

The dynamics on some of these nursing floors has become pathetic. They are completely beneath the dignity of the nursing profession. Unfortuanately, this type of "crap" is becoming all too common. I would be interested to know how many of these co-workers are Nurses. I agree with Praiser. Hold your head up. You have done nothing wrong. Personally, I believe that you will eventually have to confront the situation if you stay. I personally would have confronted those found gossiping about me. Could'nt have passed that one up. They would have been presented with clarity with regard to my position on gossiping ( about me or anybody else ). There is no room on a nursing unit for anything so destructive. I would suggest that you take a pro-active stance with regard to the gossiping and not your own abuse particuarlly. To remain passive is to invite more abuse. You are not the only victim there. There is probably much spectator apathy also. People are aware but keep silent for understandable reasons. At this point I think I would speak to the manager again. If no resolution I would go to Human Resourses or Administration. Joint Commission is very aware that these type of problems are occuring within the healthcare community. This is such middle school mentally:eek:

[RNperdiem, RN]

Maintain strong ties with your friends and family outside of work, then maybe what you coworkers think of you will not matter so much.

Maybe your coworkers do exclude you, or you feel they exclude you. This is a good time to call an old friend to talk, plan a fun outing with your spouse or kids(if you have them), meet a school friend for lunch.

I would recommend keeping your job. It wouldn't hurt to look around at other jobs, but keep your job for now.

Meanwhile, be polite to your coworkers.

Do not join in with the gossip.

In situations where they gossip, excuse yourself and spend the time with patients.

[soulofme]

Screw em...can I say that...? Do your job... that is all that counts

[carluvscats]

If it were me, I certainly wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of quitting. Just be mature, do the right thing, and be great at what you do!

[Selene006, BSN, LPN]

I'm a new grad and I've been working in a LTC facility for 2 months. I also feel excluded at work. I have witnessed alot of my co-workers relentlessly engaged in gossip, and I have even been encouraged to participate in that circle. But I'm so turned off by all that useless banter in the workplace setting. It's just not nice to talk about people behind their backs especially when it's in regards to personal body odor differences, or hair color choices, or even designer scrubs choices. I come to work to take care of my patients--not to have a social conference during my shift. I too am a quiet person but now I've become the person whose excluded from everything--not just the tacky gossip circle.

[Ms. Nurse Assistant, LPN]

I can relate to this. I feel the world is against quiet and introverted people. I go to work to get the job done, and all of that gossiping holds you back and gets in the way of doing a good job. It's just so superficial and petty. I like to be friendly, approachable and I am not mean, just not up for all of that he said she said mess.

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

Screw em...can I say that...? Do your job... that is all that counts

You summed up my thoughts exactly. Some people can not move beyond high school in the maturity department. I have been known to tell some of the biggest gossips at my place of work to go ahead and talk about me, but I also tell them that they have got to make it really good. There is honestly nothing so interesting about me that they should spend their entire day talking to everyone else about me so if they are going to make up something they had better make it good. Some times you just have to laugh at other people's stupidity.

On the other hand, I can understand how hurtful other people's comments can be. However, do you really want to be included in that kind of nastiness. You just hang in there and over time you will develope thicker skin (at least I did). When that happens their nasty little comments will not bother you nearly as much as they do now.