Recently, I feel excluded from my co-workers. I am quiet person but I have nothing wrong with people & my job. I overheard them talk behind my back about everything I did, said even if I don't like corn or ham. They joked like I am strange or something. I feel like if we don't gozzip someone, then we will be the one who is talked about.
At work, I have never talked behind someones back because it againt my religion. Then my coworkers assume that I must be the one who spread the word.
Someone suggested me to tell manager and I did. It seems better for 1-2 weeks but after that I am treated badly at work, bullying, dirty look, excluded. Some of my coworkers look nervous if I talk to them.
My friends suggest me to leave the job but I like this job, salary, system here.
I'd also like to add, that on days where the clickyness is getting to me, I try to find a patient who really seems to need someone to talk to and I go talk to them. There is a lot of human need on these units, and really, it's our job to meet those needs at times. I've found it makes my day a lot more interesting and pleasant, especially if I can find a unique and interesting patient to talk to!
Specializes in Acute care, Community Med, SANE, ASC.
I'm going to agree with what a lot of the others have said. I am also a quiet introvert. It would appear that my co-workers exclude me but, in all honesty, I mostly exclude myself, choosing to sit away from all of them and do my own thing when I have downtime. As an introvert, being around people drains my energy so nursing in general is an energy drain for me. In my critical care unit there is often a group of nurses sitting around a big table talking and gossiping. It doesn't interest me and is just more of an energy drain for me so I choose to sit away by myself. I eventually heard that people were saying I was too quiet, etc. I imagine they think I'm weird. I don't care. I've been there about a year and I just now think they have gotten used to me. I suppose they took it as an insult that I chose not to join in the discussions most of the time but now I think they realize it's just not my style. As others have said, I'm there to work, not make friends. I do my job and help others when I have time. That being said, I don't kiss anybody's butt trying to make them like me--not even the cliques. They seem to respect me and help me when I need help, which in our type of unit is pretty frequent.
However, if you desire to find friends at work I think that is perfectly normal and it would be frustrating to be excluded. I also would not tolerate being treated poorly such as mean looks, saying things to my face and not helping me when I need it and letting me drown when I'm getting my butt kicked. Frankly, if my co-workers disliked me to the point that they wouldn't help me, it would be unsafe for my patients and I would find another job. For me, if they are just ignoring me and probably talking behind my back, I don't care--that suits me fine. I would rather people not talk behind my back but it's just the way things are--most folks talk about everybody.
I don't think most extroverts (who gain energy from being around people) understand introverts so the quietness and need for solo time is unnerving to them and I believe it is often misinterpreted. I just keep doing my thing and eventually people get used to me. Good luck. :-)
SoundofMusic
1,016 Posts
I'd also like to add, that on days where the clickyness is getting to me, I try to find a patient who really seems to need someone to talk to and I go talk to them. There is a lot of human need on these units, and really, it's our job to meet those needs at times. I've found it makes my day a lot more interesting and pleasant, especially if I can find a unique and interesting patient to talk to!